Partner taking time off for me?

smartpicture

abi-em-mum83 wrote: »

We did speak to childminders, there is one where we live who IF she is not full, she will accept emergencies but she charges £5 p/h per child!!! Money is exceptionally tight as it is, and when we have tried before she's constantly full!

I do sympathise, but surely the best solution is find another mum (or two) who is willing to step in and take the children at short notice? You could offer to pay them whatever your husband would lose by leaving work unpaid if necessary. Or pay them in kind. A mum who is already at home looking after her own children is a better solution than a husband who has to leave work under the threat of disciplinary action.

dark_lady

Im not wishing ill on another person. There is no need to. Karma will take care of that all by itself.

getmore4less

if I have any severe pain and/or bleeding that I need to get straight up to A&E (in case there is a rupture and I suffer internal bleeding). Ive had this problem for over a year now, still battling to find the cause.


On Saturday I was screaming in agony, had already put off calling oh for a couple of hours incase it eased off but when it was apparent it wasnt happening, I called him to take me up to hospital (theres no public transport, would mean 2 buses and its literally screaming agony, a taxi would be £20 which we didnt have)


999 that's what it is there for, take the kids with you the hospital will have to sort something out ignore their moaning.

You have been told that you need to treat these incidences as emergencies so do it.

Manager still needs sorting out but I would not be waiting for OH to come home I would be upto A&E.


Having had a digestive tract bleed I would take this seriously, I got woken up beside the bed having collapsed and had a fit, 9 days in hospital they never found the problem having done just about everything you can do from each end and with scans.

They were going to just send me home but we found out about capsule endoscopy and asked for one of those.

So if your is the similar and you have not had a capsule endoscopy ask for one, it found my problem.

SarEl

getmore4less wrote: »

if I have any severe pain and/or bleeding that I need to get straight up to A&E (in case there is a rupture and I suffer internal bleeding). Ive had this problem for over a year now, still battling to find the cause.


On Saturday I was screaming in agony, had already put off calling oh for a couple of hours incase it eased off but when it was apparent it wasnt happening, I called him to take me up to hospital (theres no public transport, would mean 2 buses and its literally screaming agony, a taxi would be £20 which we didnt have)


999 that's what it is there for, take the kids with you the hospital will have to sort something out ignore their moaning.

You have been told that you need to treat these incidences as emergencies so do it.

Manager still needs sorting out but I would not be waiting for OH to come home I would be upto A&E.


Having had a digestive tract bleed I would take this seriously, I got woken up beside the bed having collapsed and had a fit, 9 days in hospital they never found the problem having done just about everything you can do from each end and with scans.

They were going to just send me home but we found out about capsule endoscopy and asked for one of those.

So if your is the similar and you have not had a capsule endoscopy ask for one, it found my problem.

I would have to agree. Whilst the manager appears to be taking a rather unsympathetic stance which I don't feel is justified, I am not convinced that in law they are actually acting out of order. An emergency is something that is unforeseen - unfortunately, whilst you do not know when this may happen, it is not unforeseen that it may happen, and it is possible to make contingency arrangements for it. Theoretically, whilst it may have happened infrequently, you have no way of knowing how often it may happen in the future, and there is a certain perverse logic in the employers argument that he could end up rushing out of work to pick up the peices twice a week, or once a week... And there is no real definiation of what "reasonable" is so the employer has got the right to interpret this as they will.

I'd also be rather concerned about you, having been told to get to the hospital asap, hanging around waiting for him to come and then for him to take you - I do feel that 999 is exactly the right call for something that is life-threatening.

As for childcare in an emergency, as others have suggested, perhaps you could find a local mum. There must be people who could step in for a short time, and then you could reciprocate. Or at a push, if all else fails, no ambulance will leave children behind on their own and there are staff at the hospital (and often facilities) for short-term care until your partner can pick them up. This sort of problem - mum has been admitted in an emergency and has children with her - is not unheard of.

The problem that you have is that as others have said, the right to such leave is to make arrangements as a result of an emergency happening only. So the amount of time that your husband could have off (unpaid) is very small anyway, so addressing the problem of what you do would seem like a good idea anyway, no matter what the employers stance.

abi-em-mum83

smartpicture wrote: »

I do sympathise, but surely the best solution is find another mum (or two) who is willing to step in and take the children at short notice? You could offer to pay them whatever your husband would lose by leaving work unpaid if necessary. Or pay them in kind. A mum who is already at home looking after her own children is a better solution than a husband who has to leave work under the threat of disciplinary action.

Hi I have tried asking mums from Playgroup, and Ive even put a post on a local mums website asking for help but people either work, or arent available at short notice, or more often then not just not willing to look after 2 under 4's as well as their own! Its the short notice I have problems with!

Googlewhacker

dark_lady wrote: »

that manager sounds like a complete !!!!!!!. I hope he experiences the same thing one day. It is usually the only way people like this understand.

....not wishing at all!

Googlewhacker

abi-em-mum83 wrote: »

Hi I have tried asking mums from Playgroup, and Ive even put a post on a local mums website asking for help but people either work, or arent available at short notice, or more often then not just not willing to look after 2 under 4's as well as their own! Its the short notice I have problems with!

Your boss is IMO going about this all wrong and its not like your OH has been abusing the emergancy leave. Do as said before and talk to someone higher I guess.

paddedjohn

Op i think your partners best bet is to approach the director and explain the situation, whilst the new manager is being awkward he is not acting outside the law as SarEl has pointed out above. If this manager carries on acting the way he is now he probably wont last long anyway and your oh may be able to step up.