Partner taking time off for me?

abi-em-mum83

Hi I have recently applied for DLA as I have 2 long term serious health issues. We have 2 pre-school age children and my oh works full time. We have no friends/family available to help with childcare during the day. I have just come back from hospital (emergency admission over the weekend) and have been told that while they are investigating, if I have any severe pain and/or bleeding that I need to get straight up to A&E (in case there is a rupture and I suffer internal bleeding). Ive had this problem for over a year now, still battling to find the cause.
Anyway my oh works full time, and s having trouble with his new boss. The previous one fully understood the situation, and if ever my oh had to leave work to rush me up to hospital and watch the children there was no problem (oh would just receive half days wage, or no wages if he was off all day). Now this new boss has said that its not acceptable, if he wants time off he needs to book it in advance, and if he continues to take time off as and when then he will go through disciplinary proceedure! Now to put this in perspective, this year I have required emergency admission twice, and its not something we can plan for. In 8 years of employment with the company he has had 4 days off sick, has just received an award from the director as he goes "above and beyond for the company" (directors words). If he is off for my emergencies he will go back late at night or at the weekend to make sure all his tasks are complete. He is by no means a skiver.
We have offered to get a letter from docs, to explain but his boss isnt interested. What are our rights? he never takes time off for routine appointments, the children either come with me, or we pay to get them into a creche (has to be booked in advance so no use for emergencies).
Is there some kind of employment protection for employees who have ill dependents? We dont expect him to be paid obviously,but surely he cant be disciplined and even dismissed for it?

MrsManda

If he's an employee he's legally allowed time off for dependents in an emergency (though there is no legal requirement for him to be paid for this time).

Have a look at this link for details
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/Timeoffandholidays/DG_10026555

chanie

He is allowed time off to deal with emergencies, but it is to make arrangements for others to do the care, not do it yourself. Also, it is only reasonable time off.

I'm not saying I don't sympathise with your situation, however, the company is still running a business and absences do have an affect on the business.

In answer to your question, yes, the employer can take disciplinary action if it is becoming unreasonable (there is no definition of what is unreasonable).

If I were your OH I would try and talk to the boss and explain that this is only temporary and that you are making other arrangements.

abi-em-mum83

We have offered to get proof from the hospital that it could be life threatening if when the serious pain starts I do not get straight up to A&E but he just shook his head. Its not like its every week, as I said in the last 5 months Ive only been up twice as an emergency. I there was someone else we could rely in it would be fine, but I only have my grandmother here,who's in a nursing home. All my family live 400-600 miles away, we do not have a good relationship with my in laws, and they both work f/t and have numerous excuses. My best friend finishes work at 4pm so anytime after that she can help but before that the buck stops with me and oh in the care for our little ones! Neither of us wants oh to take time off work,and I would much rather not have to go to the hospital! It just worries us as if OH lost his job we would be ruined!

jazzyman01

It would be an emergency and your OH is entitled to time off (unpaid) to deal with an emergency which actually means getting it sorted as quickly as possible.

You dont say whether the new boss is the manager and therefore reports to the Director who has commended your OH. If that is the case your OH can raise a grievance regarding the inflexibility of his manager in regard to this matter and the concern that he has that disciplinary action will be taken for dealing with an emergency.

I would suggest that you speak to your GP or support groups to find out if there is any voluntary service in your area that would be able to respond to your emergency call instead of your OH.

scooby088

I would suggest that your OH have a word with the director or someone in HR about the situation. Try and make the manager see sense that it isn't a regular occurance.

chanie

Could this not be down to mis-communication? I suspect that the boss is probably concerned that your OH could be called away constantly.

I don't think that twice in 5 months is unreasonable. Potentially, anybody who had dependents could get a call. Maybe you need to play down the fact that you may need to go to hospital. From the bosses point of view, alarm bells are probably ringing because he thinks that your OH may have to stop working at any moment. If however, your condition is under control to a certain extent and it is possible but unlikely that you will need to go to hospital, the boss doesn't need to worry so much.

The point I am trying to make is that anyone of us may need to take time off to deal with emergencies, but if you put too much emphasis on something that may (or may not happen), it can cause panic.

abi-em-mum83

Hi my oh is the assistant mgr, and its the mgr who's causing the problems. On Saturday I was screaming in agony, had already put off calling oh for a couple of hours incase it eased off but when it was apparent it wasnt happening, I called him to take me up to hospital (theres no public transport, would mean 2 buses and its literally screaming agony, a taxi would be £20 which we didnt have) he answered my call, spoke to his mgr and said she needs to be taken straight up to A&E, but mgr kicked off, told him he couldnt just run out of work (not what was happening) he had 1 hour of work left, and they were actually sitting there playing cards because there was no work to do! My oh calmly explained AGAIN that when the pain occurs there is concerns there may be serious comlications, and even if I called an Ambulance he would need to come to hospital and take the children as I would be getting scans and copious amounts of morphine (I should say one time I took them with me by taxi and got an earful by hospital as they are not a babysitting service!). Mgr then told oh if he went he would be disciplined, and every time in the future he needed to leave he would be disciplined further until dismissal. Oh's reply was well its my fiances life in the balance, this could be the time she is suffering internal bleeding so your leaving me no choice. I have to take her to hospital, and if you so wish to discipline me, I'll take it up with my union official. Before raising anything with HR?directors we wanted to know legally where he stands.
Oh and we do have a Homestart volunteer but that is only on pre-arranged days, I cant use them for emergencies. We did speak to childminders, there is one where we live who IF she is not full, she will accept emergencies but she charges £5 p/h per child!!! Money is exceptionally tight as it is, and when we have tried before she's constantly full!

dark_lady

that manager sounds like a complete !!!!!!!. I hope he experiences the same thing one day. It is usually the only way people like this understand.

dark_lady

"Mother of two dies in agony because partner was not allowed to leave work by manager who knew is was a life threatening emergency"

Tabloids would love it but i seriously doubt its the sort of publicity your OHs workplace would want.

Googlewhacker

dark_lady wrote: »

that manager sounds like a complete !!!!!!!. I hope he experiences the same thing one day. It is usually the only way people like this understand.

Your nice aren't you, wishing ill on another person...