Finding Housemates

David88_2

I know this isn't strictly speaking moneysaving but anyway...

I'm a first year currently in a catered hall. Its come to the time of year when everyones forming groups to get houses and I've suddenly found i've got no one.

The people who I would consider by best friends at uni are all doing it in groups of people from their own halls. I thought I got on well with the people I live with but 5 of them who I thought I might share a house with have got together in a group already. I've overheard them talking about finding one or two more people to share with, but when I asked about sharing with them I was told they weren't looking to share with anyone else

I've been completely left out of this and to an extent its been done behind my back as i've been asking people what there plans are and they have been saying they are not sure and then suddenly they got in a group without me. I honestly don't know whats wrong with me that means they won't consider sharing with me but whatever

I want to be in a student house next year, I don't want to be a second year still stuck in halls, but at the moment I have no idea who I could share with?

It doesn't really seem like i've been at uni that long to really make lots of friendships, but i'm worried that everyones going to get houses and i'm going to be left behind.

I'm quite stressed about it so if anyones got any tips or advice i'd love to hear it.

Sigur_2

Wash regularly.

hostie

I really feel for you as this could happen to anyone and is quite upsetting. A similar thing happened to me at the end of my first year. The main thing is not to stress too much and not to lose any friends over it and definately not to take it too personally. Often people get scapegoated just because one person doesn´t want to live with them or for any number of other reasons.

You will definately be able to live in a student house so don´t worry about that. There are rooms advertised in all university accommodation offices, in newspapers, on gumtree and numerous other online websites so you won´t be stuck for choice of flats to go and look at and for students to live with.

Anyway what I suggest is first of all consider if there is any way you could buy a flat of your own with an extra room or three which you could rent out. I don´t know where you study or what your parent´s situation is but many students do this and it is ideal as you get to choose who lives with you. I was lucky that for some of my undergrad days I was able to use a house that my dad owned and choose the friends that I wanted to live with.

Of course that might not be possible. Not everyone is lucky enough to have parents who can help them by guaranteeing a mortgage (it is definately worth asking your parents if you can though as if they do all the rent you pay will be invested for you rather than paying off someone elses mortgage).

If I was you I would resign myself to finding a room in a flat with people you don´t know. Then if something turns up with friends then it will be a bonus. When people ask you who you are going to share with BE HONEST and say that you don´t know and that you are looking for people. It is hard to do this as it is embarrassing but it is worth it as the person who asks you or someone else who is either listening or who talks to them subsequently, might want to share with you.

Keep your ears open, speak to people in your classes etc about the fact that you don´t know where you are going to live. These things are always very fluid. Five people might want to live together but then they might only find a flat for four and one poor person might get dumped. Things like this happen all the time so something might turn up for you. I won´t rant on any more but the main thing is not to let it worry you or upset you too much. Try not to get too paranoid but if you really really think that the people you thought were your friends, are not really your friends, then make more of an effort with new people.

Oh one last thing, the friends you have in other halls - be frank with them and tell them that you don´t have anyone in your hall to share with and that you´d like to share with them. If they say no don´t let it upset you. You will make more and more friends and some of them will be with you for many years. Try not to be nasty about anyone and people will want to be your friend. The people you end up close to might not be the people you know now.

night night

Take care.

Ps I have just read the thread below by saver2006 and wanted to add that I agree that you shouldn´t act too desperate as sadly that will really put people off.

saver2006

ah that sucks bro

"I've overheard them talking about finding one or two more people to share with, but when I asked about sharing with them I was told they weren't looking to share with anyone else"

i'm not sure what to make of this man- i mean these guys don't sound like friends- you might wanna have a frank talk with these guys and really ask what the problem is- i mean you could be a great guy overall but you might just have a really annoying thing you do (i.e. leave the bathroom dirty etc that might put off people wanting to live with you)- if these guys are mates im sure they'll be able to explain and you guys can sort something out

if that doesnt work out what about people from your course or people from any societies that you've joined? i mean you've got some time so dont be in so much of a rush just cause some people seem to be sorting things out so quickly

also- is it really a big deal if you dont live in a student house- i mean you could have you're own really cool apartment in like a studenty area with other students- there are so many options

lastly- try not to feel sorry for youself or anything or be desperate- this will just put people off more- just be cool about the situation, ask around and im sure something will work out

good luck

jennifernil

My daughter is a student, she has a flat which she shares with one other student and most of her friends are in 2 person flats. They find this easier than sharing a bigger place with 3 or 4 others, it can be difficult to keep so many people happy at once. There can be issues with cleaning and catering when so many are involved.
As you have only been at Uni about 3 months is it not quite early to be deciding who you want to share with? Houses/flats up here in Glasgow only come on the market around Easter, so I think you still have plenty of time.

libertino

Could be a blessing. I've had some great times with the mates I've lived with, but also completely fell out with one when I moved in a house with him, but then when he moved out we're mates again. Just having some distance and not arguing about house things can be great. Other 2 friends I lived with I've barely even seen since we moved houses, we didn't sort out our next year's arrangements ammicably and although we've not 'fallen out', we're just not close any more.

Remember you can always do the student things like staying in and getting drunk, but at your mates' house instead - and you don't have the hassle of cleaning up afterwards or getting annoyed with the houseshare problems. Find a house somewhere close to your mates so you're not out the way, and it's easy to stumble home from!

There's plenty of websites to find student houseshares - accommodationforstudents.com and flatmateclick.co.uk are the best ones.

pjb007

There is a website www.accommodationforstudents.com which may help.

Ask Student Union/Student Support for advice.

Are there any local letting agencies that specialise in student lets look around for 'To Let' signs see if any mention student lets.

If you find a letting agency and want to get people to form a group with put posters* up around the uni, use that website above to advertise as well.

Are you a member of any student societies, see what they are doing.

*on your poster attach pull off strips so that people can take your contact details this will also tell you how many people are interested.

Good places for posters are the Student Union, laundrette etc.

Hope that helps.

Blacksheep1979

Sounds harsh, but are these people really your friends? They say they want others to live with them - but not you. Don't go kidding yourself and keep going round their houses if they don't want you there as they'll end up avoiding you and you'll slowly feel worse n worse. Most people live with people from their halls in the second year so this might not be so much the case with your non-halls friends. Just a warning incase though.

libertino

That's another point. I didn't keep friends with a lot of the people I hung around with when I started uni, beyond Christmas-ish time of first year. You're better off making lots of friends as they will end up whittling down.

simongregson

Just to echo the advice of others - I found myself in a similar situation and it's best to look upon it as an opportunity rather than a problem. I ended up keeping most of the friends I had from halls, and got a room in a house with a friend from one of the societies I was in.

I ended up with loads of extra friends at uni thanks to having many different friendship groups
Some of my friends from halls fell out after a year living together, and I ended up living with them in my third year anyway
I met my wife through a friend of one of the people I lived with in my second year

All in all, not too bad after all :-)

Rooms will come up in houses where one person is moving out and they want to keep the house, you will be doing them a favour by moving in, keep your ear to the ground in the coming weeks in whatever societies/sports clubs and people on your course.

cupid_s

David88 wrote:

I know this isn't strictly speaking moneysaving but anyway...

I'm a first year currently in a catered hall. Its come to the time of year when everyones forming groups to get houses and I've suddenly found i've got no one.

The people who I would consider by best friends at uni are all doing it in groups of people from their own halls. I thought I got on well with the people I live with but 5 of them who I thought I might share a house with have got together in a group already. I've overheard them talking about finding one or two more people to share with, but when I asked about sharing with them I was told they weren't looking to share with anyone else

I've been completely left out of this and to an extent its been done behind my back as i've been asking people what there plans are and they have been saying they are not sure and then suddenly they got in a group without me. I honestly don't know whats wrong with me that means they won't consider sharing with me but whatever

I want to be in a student house next year, I don't want to be a second year still stuck in halls, but at the moment I have no idea who I could share with?

It doesn't really seem like i've been at uni that long to really make lots of friendships, but i'm worried that everyones going to get houses and i'm going to be left behind.

I'm quite stressed about it so if anyones got any tips or advice i'd love to hear it.

Something very similar happened to me. I got on great with the people I lived with in first year until I fell ill and then I wasn't going out to pubs clubs etc and they kinda just forgot about me. We'd all decided at christmas we'd look for a house together but by february they we're off looking and asking if I'd decided who I was living with! At that point I was thankful I wasn't living with those !!!!!es!

I was speaking to someone I knew from home who was doing a similar course to me and he said 'why not move in with me and my friends?'. So I met them and we got on ok. Not long after I was speaking to a girl on my course who I hardly knew to be honest. But all her housemates were doing their own thing so she asked if she could share with us as well.

I've been married to the guy who first suggested I share with him for three years now. The girl off my course is one of my best friends ever and she's married to my hubby's friend who we also shared with!

We were a complete mish mash but I was so happy that I kinda got left out at first cos the people I ended up with were so much nicer.

By the sounds of it you could find so much better friends than these people. Often groups of people are looking for one or two others to share and advertise this on uni sites and posters around uni. I know people who did this and it worked out well for them. And as other people have said you'll probably end up with more friends.

Don't stress and think there's somethin wrong with you. I thought that but realised it was them with the problem not me. Hope you find something/somewhere you like