Cat has moved out!

rippedoff3

Hi

Would love some advice please. We bought 2 kittens about 6 years ago, one is lovely, loves our children and is very loyal and shy.
The other was the runt of the litter, will gulp down food quickly and has never been interested in us! For the last 3 years she hasn't lived in our house in the day, she sometimes comes in at night but will go out when she hears us get up.

A year ago i found she was visiting a house opposite and spoke to them about it and they said they had had her going in for a year, but they didn't feed her just put some beds out for her, they said she liked the quiet there. I asked them if they would like to adopt her but they said vets bills would need to be discussed as would checking with their landlord, they never got back to me.

I know she goes into my neighbours and mine for some food when we aren't around and is seen around the front every day but she doesn't feel like our cat anymore and i know it sounds awful but if she were to have an accident i would be responsible yet we don't ever see her! I am pretty sure she feels her home is elsewhere now.
Any ideas??

Thanks
RO

mj12_2

I dont mean to sound harsh but imo when you bought the cat you accepted the responsibility to care for it no matter what, regardless of if it 'loved' you or not.

Perhaps you could speak to a local rehoming centre or place some ads of your own on preloved or the like?

rippedoff3

I totally agree but i am looking into pet insurance at the moment, which has made me realise as she won't keep a collar on, or hang around long enough for me to get close enough to de-flea her ect it seems unlikely i would ever even know if she were hurt or ill...well unless the people accross the road decide they want the bill paid!

ladymarmalade1970

I have a cat like this and also brought them together about 5 years ago. One rarely goes out and the other rarely comes in. I "think" someone else could be feeding my outside one as sometimes he won't come home for a couple of days.
I just sort of accept it BUT i guess if we were to move it would be an issue as he may not be around on moving day.
I did have to take mine to the vet about a year ago. He came home with a nasty wound on his neck. Even though he isn't here all the time he still feels like our cat.
Can't you just accept that is the way it is???
I wonder if it is when you buy 2 cats that this happens as my sister also had 2 from kittens and 1 left after about 5 years.
I don't think it's fair to re-home the cat as the other poster suggested unless the cat is unhappy and from your post it doesn't sound as if it is.

Claire_Bear

I'd ask the neighbour again first if they'd be interested in taking her, on the agreement that ownership would pass fully to them and all vets bills etc from now on would be their responsibility. If not, then you might want to consider rehoming her elsewhere, however be warned that most cat shelters are full to bursting so I'd try and go down a private rehoming route as it probably wouldn't be fair to take up a space in a rescue with a cat who still has a home and is getting fed etc. Also might be worth asking the kids as even though the cat isn't really interested in them and hardly sees them, they might still get upset if you rehome it as at the end of the day, it is still your pet.

Claire_Bear

ladymarmalade1970 wrote: »

I
I did have to take mine to the vet about a year ago. He came home with a nasty wound on his neck. Even though he isn't here all the time he still feels like our cat.

Is your boy neutered? Un-neutered toms have a tendency to wander in the search for a lady friend so this might be why he's hardly ever seen at home. Also could explain the wound on his neck as they're more likely to fight if they haven't been 'fixed'. However, some cats are just natural wanderers and can never be tied down to a comfy home life, it's one of the risks of getting a cat in the first place I guess.

rippedoff3

ladymarmalade1970 wrote: »

I have a cat like this and also brought them together about 5 years ago. One rarely goes out and the other rarely comes in. I "think" someone else could be feeding my outside one as sometimes he won't come home for a couple of days.
I just sort of accept it BUT i guess if we were to move it would be an issue as he may not be around on moving day.
I did have to take mine to the vet about a year ago. He came home with a nasty wound on his neck. Even though he isn't here all the time he still feels like our cat.
Can't you just accept that is the way it is???
I wonder if it is when you buy 2 cats that this happens as my sister also had 2 from kittens and 1 left after about 5 years.
I don't think it's fair to re-home the cat as the other poster suggested unless the cat is unhappy and from your post it doesn't sound as if it is.

She isn't unhappy which is why we have accepted it this long, just feels odd as we will be booking our other cat into cat holiday home for a week when we go on holiday but the other one would be too hard to catch so would be leaving her to it completely, i think she uses ours as bed and breakfast, the next door for daytime food when they are at work and then kips in the house across the road, cheeky madam!

Am wondering about rehoming with someone without kids as i'm sure thats what she dislikes, i have 4 noisy ones, but yeah, strange the other cat loves them!

Otherwise i may as well just get the pet insurance out on them both regardless, doubt the other people will want the responsibility as they didn't when i asked before.

rippedoff3

oh and my kids hardly know her, the eldest said herself it seems strange we never see her much and she doesn't think of her as her cat.

juliebunny

If you are going away, best you have a word with your neighbours otherwise they will think you are real baddies for going away and leaving this cat out whatever the circumstances - they may even have the RspcA come and take her away.

They probably think she's just a social visitor. Most likely they provide tit-bits and the like but don't actually want her full time.....

I'm on the flip side of this, my neighbours cats visit me. Then again they are emaciated and she locks them out night and day with no shelter or water and very little food. However, I would not expect her to go away and leave them completely.

Maybe as your kids get older and calm down she will move back in or you could entice her with tasty prawns and the like....or try keeping her in for a few weeks.

meritaten

Some cats just dont want to live with children! may be kinder in the long run to rehome her to a childless home. She may prefer to be an 'only' cat too!

mutter

You never really own a cat do you?

Many years ago, I had one who moved into the residents lounge of the old people's flats at the back where we lived then.

He did very nicely thank you on titbits of chicken and fish and lots of fuss from the residents, and only came in on inclement nights because they had to chuck him out when they went to bed, because they weren't allowed to have pets!