Help...Fussy, and I mean VERY Fussy girl...

onlyroz

My son begged me to let him have a packed lunch at school - so I started making it. Except now, apparently, he's "allergic" to chicken, egg, apples, .... you name it. He also often eats very little at dinner time but still seems to have enough energy.

SkintGypsy

My daughter is fussy, and has been since birth. She eats the tiniest portion of anything, and could survive on a few chicken nuggets each meal time if I let her. I serve very small portions, so she isn't intimidated, and the rule is that she tries everything once. Every time we have a roast, she will eat one piece of parsnip, one potato, one carrot etc, but she often changes her mind as to what she doesn't like that time. She sits before me, aged five and a half, having eaten a large child's portion of lasagne, complete with onions and mushrooms. It does get better, but mealtimes have always been painful for us!

Desperate_Housewife_2-2

get her checked out at the drs and everythings fine then I'm afraid it would be 2 choices at our house (take it or leave it...)

Nicki

I don't have any sugary cereals in the house, and if the children ask why not I say they had them as children and don't like them! I always try to have a selection of the unsweetened wholegrain ones though and they can choose for themselves which they are having, or opt for toast instead.

My DS is 11 and it is only a few months since he worked out that it is not true that your taste buds change every 10 days :rotfl: I have fed them this line since they were babies so always encourage them to try things they don't like regularly in case their taste buds have changed. It does in fact sometimes take 8 or 10 exposures to a food before a kid will eat it, so this line has been successful for us.

We've never made a huge fuss about meals in our house. You either eat what's on the table or if you don't like it, you can make yourself some toast or a bowl of cereal. A different meal will never be cooked however nor will there be any coaxing to eat up what's in front of you. Although all the kids have gone through picky phases, they do now in general eat well and healthily and are sensible weights (DS is a little heavier than i'd like at the moment but he tends to get a tummy, then grow into it, so I'm not unduly concerned). I don't agree with kids going hungry, or with major battles over food though, so this approach works for us.

ETA I'd never make rubbish for them though just to get them to eat. I don't give them anything me and OH wouldn't also be happy to sit down to eat ourselves, so I am afraid I wouldn't countenance the dry wrap, choc biscuit, crisps, waffles, etc as a regular occurrence.

KiKi

neneromanova wrote: »

Breakfast: Yoghurt, Weetos, Cheerios, Nesquick (1 of any of these)

Lunch: a herby tortilla wrap (nothing in it, no butter, jam or anything as she won't eat it), Bread and butter sandwiches, Animal biscuits, Hula Hoops, Cereal bar, yoghurt coated strawberries/blackcurrants

Dinner: Waffles, Sausages.

Hiya - please take this in the right way...! But these foods are carbs, sugar, sugar, carbs, sugar and more sugar. All of them. They cause huge swings in blood sugar levels, and if she's allowed to have these for breakfast and then lunch, I'm not surprised she doesn't want to eat things that aren't sweet and carby!! I wouldn't!

Even the things that sound healthy, like Cheerios, the cereal bar and yoghurt coated fruit are VERY high in sugar and salt. Bread is okay, but not if you're having carbs all day as well.

I completely agree with everyone else. You really need to get the sugary stuff out of her diet and replace with something substantial that's better for her, and will fill her up. There are better cereals out there (although I don't personally think a cereal is the end of the world for breakfast, esp if she's having it with milk).


But for lunch and dinner she certainly needs to have it, given a time to eat it in, then taken away. She won't starve herself, and as you say, you don't want to encourage it too much.


You can do other things to encourage her, though, rather than just ignoring her tantrums:

* Get her to do the shopping with you (take your time) and pick things out that are on your list, and put them in the trolley

* Cook with her. Get her to put things in pans, and get used to exploring the foods and touching them again

* Ignore the tantrums and reward her good behaviour with a chart or something that you know she'll be inspired by

* Have some food freely available in the house that she can help herself to if she's hungry - suggest just a bowl of fruit and nothing packaged that pretends to be healthy (like 'organic' crisps, or cereal bars)


But don't worry for her health...as long as she's happy, growing and peeing and pooing okay! She won't starve herself unless she actually has an eating problem, but you don't indicate that's an issue.

HTH
KiKi

Claire_Bear

I've read that if you involve a child in making food then they'd be a lot more willing to taste it afterwards, for instance if you got your daughter to help you make a fruit salad, she could peel a banana, then pick some grapes off the bunch, and pour some juice on and stir it around, you could then have this for dessert and say to everyone 'look, *name* has made us a lovely fruit salad for dessert' Of course a fruit salad might be a big leap from where she is now, but it was just an example of way to get her to feel more included in mealtimes. Plus when you're cooking, show her what you're doing, have her smell and touch some of the ingredients, things that aren't too strong like onions, but carrots smell nice and sweet, rice is nice to put your hand in, an orange skin is rough and bumpy etc and it might encourage her to try the taste as well.

Other than that I'd recommend the 'eat what's in front of you or go hungry' rule, as this is what I've seen mentioned most in magazines and other guides, by making a big fuss and catering to her ever increasing demands, it's just rewarding the fussy behaviour. It seems the best way is to not even mention food, just put the plate down, have a talk amongst yourselves, then clear up at the end. If there's food left on the plate don't mention it, just take it away. Definitely don't make her something seperate to what the rest of you are having, eventually after going hungry for a few mealtimes and not getting anymore attention out of it she'll start to eat a wider range of things. This is the theory anyway!

neneromanova

Yeah I guess it is all just sugar and carbs Makes me feel bad that I've been feeding her this but I didn't realise they were that bad, especially as they have with added iron on the box and stuff.

So what would be an Ideal thing for lunch? I'd be happy keeping the breakfast the same way as I grew up on them and I'm all good but lunch is different. She goes to "school" monday, wednesday and friday 9.30 til 2.30 and takes a packed lunch with her. I've asked if they can put her on the "school dinners" table so she see's other kids eating the right foods too so hopefully that will work.

I'll try the cooking with her. I remember school let her cook and she made a cheese and ham muffin or something and she actually ate it, ok not all of it but the fact was she tried it. Hell I've even got a cooking with tots book....

KiKi

neneromanova wrote: »

Yeah I guess it is all just sugar and carbs Makes me feel bad that I've been feeding her this but I didn't realise they were that bad, especially as they have with added iron on the box and stuff.

DON'T FEEL BAD. They are designed to deceive.

So what would be an Ideal thing for lunch? I'd be happy keeping the breakfast the same way as I grew up on them and I'm all good but lunch is different. She goes to "school" monday, wednesday and friday 9.30 til 2.30 and takes a packed lunch with her. I've asked if they can put her on the "school dinners" table so she see's other kids eating the right foods too so hopefully that will work.

For lunch, try a sandwich and some fruit, perhaps a some cut up cheddar cheese (or sliced cheese in the sandwich if she'll have it). A yoghurt, maybe? Something with some some protein to fill her up. Any eggs on toast, or dippy eggs, or hard-boiled and cut open? Some slices of chicken or meat instead of cheese?

Perhaps you could 'treat' her to a 'milkshake' which is essentially a fruit smoothie - she probably won't know the difference!!

You probably won't be able to go cold-turkey on her...maybe the wrap and a selection of other protein-y things, introduce her slowly rather than changing it all overnight!

I'll try the cooking with her. I remember school let her cook and she made a cheese and ham muffin or something and she actually ate it, ok not all of it but the fact was she tried it. Hell I've even got a cooking with tots book....

Haha! Yes, they do like to eat what they've made. Perhaps if she gets to make the dinner she'll try some of it. Even trying it should be rewarded, so remember to praise her lots for it, even if she chooses not to eat more than a couple of forkfuls.

HTH - and sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad at all; you really shouldn't! Most people have no idea what's in cereal and bars and those packaged yoghurt fruit things because they're promoted as healthy. They're not *evil*, but they're just not everyday foods.

ETA - I ate two entire Hotel Chocolat Easter eggs yesterday, so I'm really not one to talk about carbs and sugar...

KiKi

Nicki

I'd be wary of giving her too much in her packed lunch as if it looks daunting she won't finish it, and may eat less than she would have done with a more manageable portion.

If you can face it, maybe a sandwich cut into an interesting shape with a large cookie cutter to tempt her. Or half a wrap, or some wholemeal pitta with a dip. Fillings for the sandwich could be tuna, ham, peanut butter, egg, banana, chicken, cheese whichever she might be most likely to try. I'd also put in either a piece of fruit or a small yoghurt.

For lunches at home, something low key, so you don't get frustrated because you've spent ages cooking it and she won't eat it. My toddler and I have things like beans on toast, scrambled egg, baked potato with tuna, soup and a roll, pasta and tomato sauce, hummus and pitta, quiche or pizza with salad for me and crudit!s for him. If you can, make it fun. Table manners can come later! I'd rather mine cleared their plates and slurped up their spaghetti in sauce, than ate two mouthfuls neatly and stopped, at least at age 3! By reception age, they should be using their cutlery though....

patchwork_cat

Supernanny has tackled this briefly http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Food-and-Nutrition/-/0-to-4-years/Coping-with-a-Fussy-Eater.aspx I do agree with the poster that said leave the meal on the table for a reasonable time, tell her it is going to be cleared away in x minutes, no attention and nothing else. When my DD was in reception they briefly talked about major food groups etc. maybe look into how they tackle that and teach her about what she needs to eat if she wants to be a dancer, swimmer or whatever else activity she is into.

Someone mentioned shopping, what you can do is to do pictures on a list of what you need and get her to help that way.