Help for a teenager who has started cutting?

spentapenny

My teenager has told me in confidence about his friend's cutting his arm. I promised him that I wouldn't talk to anyone at all about this secret that he was going to tell me (well, I asked him after I twigged when I overheard a comment) and it's really important to my son that I don't break his confidence.

It's selfish of me, but I want him to keep telling me things so that he feels able to talk to me if he has any problems himself but I worry about his friend and I want to try to help. I wish I could tell his mum.

Is there a website for teenagers, something that my son could pass on to his friend? I don't like to think that this boy might not know where to turn if he wants real help, if he cuts too hard for example. At the moment he's all euphoric about how amazing it was and how wonderful it made him feel.

FatVonD

One of my son's school friends has done this, DS told me and I spoke to his teacher (in confidence.) It turned out the school were aware of it already and they were in a better position to be able to speak to him/his parents etc. than I would have been.

pigpen

In some circles it is seem as 'cool' and is just a stupid teenage phase. It isn't about 'self-harm' it is about fitting in and being a sheep. So it doesn't necessarily mean he is a troubled teen it may just mean he is following the herd.

If you are concerned you could ring the head of year and say you have a concern after your son mentioned this and you just want to make them aware so they can keep a watch on him as they obviousy spend a huge amount of time with him in their care.

needanewjob

Try these:

http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm
http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/self_injury.php
http://www.nshn.co.uk/
http://www.getconnected.org.uk/497/what-to-contact-us-about/selfharm.html?gclid=CIuI6YPX36gCFQod4Qodx2dj_Q&ef_id=FCpNymM4wlIAAMxa:20110511102144:s

Claire_Bear

I would advise your son to just be there for the lad, if he's told your son about the cutting he obviously trusts him and is looking for support and friendship, and someone to listen to his problems. As someone who used to self harm in my teenage years, I would have been absolutely morified if I'd known that any of my friends had told their parents (as it was, none of my friends knew it was going on), especially if I knew they'd passed the information around to teachers, and I would never trust that friend again. The best thing your son can do is to keep an eye on the situation, advise his friend to use clean instruments and to keep the wounds clean, and just to listen and gauge the situation best he can.

As pigpen said, in some cases it can be seen as 'cool', and certain groups are known for it, but it isn't always the case. In some cases it's just a cry for help for someone to listen to their problems, in some cases it's not done to draw attention to yourself and there could be some serious underlying issues going on. I think this is where your son could come in though, by trying to figure out if it's just trying to 'fit in' or if there is actual mental health or big problems in the kid's life.

youngmummy

all you can advice is that your son is there for his friend. it could be his friends way of coping?? there are many reasons why people 'self-harm'... getting to the route cause can be a difficult and confusing process. it may be a simple reason, it may be extreamly complicated. maybe talk to a teacher at your sons school, and see what help they can offer. do they have a pupil support worker ??? i hope your sons friend is ok. take care xx