Can I stipulate where contact takes place ??? Advice needed

poppyscorner

Hi Everyone,

Very brief background have 2 DS aged 8yrs and 4yrs ! Was married (giving him parental responsibility) to their father seperated now for almost 3 yrs and divorced for last 18months seperated due to Ex OH having his second affair he moved in withthat woman and she was awful kids used to come home from seeing dad in tears because her and her children were awful to our boys and dad did not defend them or stick up for them that lasted about 6 months and it was 6 months of hell as well as the above dad regularly missed contact and let the boys down and then they split up and he actually took an interest in our children.

He still cancels contact but these days it is a rare occurence he has met someone else and she has a young DD from her previous relationship I havent met her but the kids have I made him wait 6 months before the kids met her and he agreed to that and the kids speak very highly of her and her DD I trust that she does care about the kids and their dad I don't doubt loves them and wouldn't deliberately set out to hurt them he just isnt good at thinking ahead or considering other people's feelings.

Anyway last two weekends ExOH has cancelled his contact with the boys giving various excuses for this he has a third party number to contact me on due to past issues with harrassment and sent texts both times so I ranghim last Thursday and he told me that he is in the process of movingto a bigger house with his new g/f and this one will have a room for the boys there, he has been living with her already for the past 4ish months but having his contact with our children at his mothers house. He told me on friday that his sister and her 14yr old daughter are living at his mums he says they are both injecting drugs the 14yr old is attacking members of the family including the grandmother and apparently social services are involved.

I have asked that he does not take them there and that overnight contact is stopped until his new house is ready to accomodate our children dad is not never has been and in my opinion would never touch drugs and it will not be a problem at his new home however he is insisting that he has them as normal this weekend and he states that they will be at grandma's again ! I don't want to get into the situation of stopping contact but if he insists on taking them there can I stop it ? Dad has previously eggagerated things for reasons unknown is it worth contacting social services myself ? would they confirm involvement ? would they discuss with me ? my children are at risk in that house if what he says is true and if so surely they should have been in touch anyway ? anyone got any advice to offer ? or even any thoughts on it ? I know someone is going to say see a solicitor and i will do that just trying to gauge an opinion before i get there !

Many thanks
Poppy

gizmo111

Dad has previously eggagerated things for reasons unknown is it worth contacting social services myself ? would they confirm involvement ? would they discuss with me ? my children are at risk in that house if what he says is true and if so surely they should have been in touch anyway ? anyone got any advice to offer ? or even any thoughts on it ? I know someone is going to say see a solicitor and i will do that just trying to gauge an opinion before i get there !

Social services will not be able to tell you anything much due to confidentiallity, they won't have been in touch with you as they probably have no idea your children go there and would expect you as parents to keep your children safe through amicable arrangements, you need to talk to your ex in somedepth about your worries.

foxyladyx

Hi as you are a parent with parental responsibility social services have to inform you if they consider the children are at risk. The problem is do social services know that the children have overnight weekend contact at the house?

I'm in a similar situation as yours where my ex left me for now ex girlfriend when my children were 8mths and 2 1/2 years old. he failed contact and when he did turn up he would be late, drop off early or just not bother turning up!

Now new girlfriend and introduced the kids after just 2 weeks!! now 3 months later moved in with her, he will not give me the address for me to know where the children are? God knows why its not as if I want to visit!! lol

His ex made an allegation to police after domestic argument about his behaviour to kids. Social services were contacted by police and then I was and had a visit and then they ad to see the kids!!

If I was you I would phone social services and explain your concerns and then they will do their homework, you should then be told the truth if what your ex is saying is true because it has a direct effect on your children while staying there.

Good luck x

flutterby_lil

Do you think he maybe said this about the drugs so you would be ok about him moving in with his girlfirend? Not saying you would kick off or anything but maybe he was scared to tell you and thought by fabricating the truth and making a good reason for him to move out then all would be ok? Just thinking along the lines that you made him wait 6 months to let his GF see the children (which I totally agree with hon) so maybe he thought you would be jealous? That is the first thought that came into my head.