son denied access to his daughter

trademark

My son and his girlfriend split up becasue of her anger moods and internet affair, he is no angel but would not harm anyone.

she is now stopping him seeing his 4 month old daughter with out a reason.

he earns about £12k a year and we need legal help immediatly, could anyone here please offer some advice,

Also can my son approach the csa himself and aks that they get him access as he is more than willing to pay maintenance


thankyou

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

1. See a solicitor.

2. The CSA have nothing to do with contact.

[Deleted User]

trademark wrote: »

My son and his girlfriend split up becasue of her anger moods and internet affair, he is no angel but would not harm anyone.

she is now stopping him seeing his 4 month old daughter with out a reason.

he earns about £12k a year and we need legal help immediatly, could anyone here please offer some advice,

Also can my son approach the csa himself and aks that they get him access as he is more than willing to pay maintenance


thankyou

Does your son have parental rights, is he on his daughters birth certificate?

The CSA have nothing to do with access, paying maintenance won't guarantee him access and not paying wouldn't mean he wouldn't get access either....

He really needs to go seek some legal advice, I would think he would qualify for Legal Aid on earnings of £12k but not 100% on this, he could go see a solicitor on a free half hour and find out though or try CAB...

Chances are if he takes her to court he will get access, she is only 4 months old so not sure how much it would be to start(he might not get any overnight access until she is older, especially if she is breastfed) but its unlikely he won't get any access at all unless there is a really strong reason for him not too with regards to welfare...

How old is your son? Its worth noting that if he doesn't qualify for legal aid he doesn't actually need a solicitor to take her to court anyway, he can represent himself and just pay the court application fee.

My personal advice is if this has started already and his daughter is only 4 months old then I would get to court now and get contact arrangements in writing so its legal as chances are it will only get worse as she gets older and in my experience once he has backed down once she probably will just continue thinking she can control when he see's her on her terms and changing her mind at the drop of a hat when it suits her.

Sick of reading about parents doing this to their children its disgusting!

Good luck.

Noodle.

clearingout

He can approach the CSA himself, yes. However, they are putting a charging policy in place next year and they are not the most efficient of organisations to be dealing with - you have a look on the Child Support board you'll see no end of horrendous issues which occur whichever side of the fence you're sitting on. There is a calculator on their website and it is also possible to ask them to calculate for you and then you pay the mum directly the amount they say.

Contact and finances are not connected in anyway. However, not paying maintenance drums up a certain 'picture' in the head of any professional involved in the case (and anyone else for that matter) and I personally don't think it looks good if you get to court with CAFCASS involvement and mum is able to drop in 'and he doesn't even pay maintenance'.

Babies and contact are complex and attitudes vary widely as to what is and isn't acceptable. I had court involvement with my third child who was born after my now ex husband and I had separated. The recommendation was 'little and often' for contact and no overnights until at least 12 months old (although he was breastfeeding). The point was also made that babies get separation anxiety at the 9 month mark so need to know dad by then if they're going to be 'happy' to go off with him with/without mum. We had a fairly easy transition - I had no issue with contact anyway (it was my ex who was being a bit of an idiot involving the courts - he's a bully and wants everything his way or not at all) and baby had two brothers to follow who were happy to go with dad so the little one just went along with it all, bless him!

Tell your son to keep his temper. Don't threaten the ex in any way (courts will always err on the side of caution), don't do anything that could be considered harassment (if he turns up on the doorstep and she says go, he needs to do just that) and remember that texts and e-mails can be used in court against him (and vice versa - he should keep everything she sends) and phone calls can be recorded without you knowing.

Finally, have a look at the Families Need Fathers website which will give you a lot of information and is a good source of support. The good news is that courts are pro-contact with both parents and will do everything they can to promote a good relationship between father and son, unless there is strong evidence that a relationship would somehow put the child 'at risk' which I'm sure isn't the case here. Good luck!

puddy

he doesnt need legal advice, he can apply for contact himself at his local court, however, i would advise using websites like families need fathers etc to guide you. when you say he is no angel, what does that mean? is this child safe with a volatile mother and a father who is 'no angel'?

make_me_wise

Everyone has already given lots of good advice. I didn't want to read and run though OP. Want to wish you and your son good luck in sorting this out. It is great that he wants to be financially and emotionally responsible for his daughter.

He may not be an angel, who is 100% of the time, we all have our faults. What counts is how we step up to the mark when needed.
Hope that your grandaughter will soon enjoy being cared for by both her parents and it can be sorted out with the least upset and hassle.

davethedog_3

Firstly, sorry to hear what is happening.

Your son needs good advice from the start and needs to act sooner rather than later.

I strongly advise your son (you can also go) to attend a Families Need Father's Branch meeting in your locale. You do not have to pay and become a member, just turn up and explain your situation. The meeting will be run by knowledgeable people many of whom have been through the Family Courts. They will be able to point you in the right direction.

It's worth knowing that to claim legal aid, your sons Ex partner will have to claim domestic abuse/violence. Its also worth knowing that Women's Aid list things such 'Sulking', 'Taking the Car away', 'not listening or responding when being talked too', 'refusing to help with the housework' and 'breaking promises' as 'Domestic Violence' so if your sons Ex wants legal aid, she will get it. (go check for yourself, this info was taken from the Women's Aid site as of this morning)

False allegations are rife in family law and cause months sometimes years of broken contact with children. Any allegations will have to be dealt with by the Court, so your son needs to be careful during any interaction with his Ex. Have any dealings with her in writing. If he has to speak to her on the phone or in person make sure he records the conversation (this is legal and can be used in a Court) this will ensure allegations (if any) can be swiftly denied, proven untrue and dealt with.

If you go litigant in person, Family Courts need not be expensive. As a LIP you have the right to have a lay person in Court to help you (McKenzie Friend), He/She may also be granted rights of audience and speak on behalf of your son during what will be an emotive time.

McKenzie friends know the system and probably been through it themselves. Some charge a small fee as opposed to a Solicitor on £180+ hourly rates. Their interests are purely to help you rather than having a long drawn out costly Court case.

The Court form needed to start the process is called a 'C100' and can be found on the HMCourt-Service website. Costs around £180. Again you could take this to the Families Need Fathers meeting and get help completing it for free. You do not have to pay a costly Solicitor to do this for you!

Act now and I wish you all the best.

trademark

thankyou everyone, some excellent advice, i will pass this on to my son who will be very grateful

when i said he was no angel i just meant he can be selfish and has money problems currently, nothing sinister

thankyou once again.

*Robin*

trademark wrote: »

he is more than willing to pay maintenance

Does this child not require nappies, clothes, a roof over her head etc?

..So why isn't he already contributing? I believe there's a calculator on the CSA site to work out how much he needs to pay. Set up a standing order to his ex's bank account so there is a record of payments.

Then deal with the matter of contact.

It shouldn't be connected, but most ex's immediately become more reasonable when the non-resident parent is pulling their weight financially.

whitewing

noodle84 wrote: »

Sick of reading about parents doing this to their children its disgusting!

Noodle.

Don't forget though that people don't tend to post when everything's going well. Human nature.

OP, best of luck in getting it sorted.

princessdreamer

splodge2k11 wrote: »

No father should be told he cant see theer child

Not on every case, my child has decided not to see his father after his father hit him and beat me up. My son is older though and already taller than me, he has also vowed to keep his siblings safe from their father.
I think it is a very sad situation, two of my friends have been fighting for years to see their children despite doing nothing wrong. The whole access thing is a mess. All that matters is the children are loved and happy.