help with this huge fraud

jackyann

paddyrg wrote: »

Your mother probably isn't a "stupid woman" per se., but guessing that if she doesn't speak a lot of English, her understanding and values were from a very different culture - and being a first generation immigrant with poor local language, a deceased husband, 2 criminal sons, and a paranoia about police (perhaps the police in her birth country were notably corrupt?). I'm not surprised she is sticking her head in the sand hoping it will all go away!

What can you do? Tough one. Move out for sure, protect your stuff and concentrate on your studies more, keep forging your own life. Doesn't sound like home is really ideal for study. Is she religeous? Can a minister from her faith have a chat with her, or go with her to the police? Or some other respected 'elder' within her culture?

There will be some sort of Women's Aid Centre near you (ask at the library, CAB etc.) because this is domestic abuse. They will talk to you if you ring to explain, and will have had experience of this type of thing.
Depending on their set-up and resources, they may have someone who can visit & talk to your mum, or she may be happy to be taken there, rather than the police station.
It is possible they will have workers who speak her language, so she can talk freely without you there. If not, most Centres have access to interpreting services.
In my experience it can be a relief just to talk in one's own language, and that may free her up to make decisions away from family pressures.
Good luck

paddyrg

Go to the CAB. It is free, and they can help.

Wonga will not have forgotten about the debt, rest assured. This is their core business, they do not forget, and have upto 6 years when they could reclaim it at any moment.

Do not borrow from friends to clear a debt that isn't yours when you know full well it won't be the end of the trouble, all that happens is your brothers recklessness becomes your problem. Your student loan is not goint to be enough to cover an iphone and ipad as well as keeping you alive for a year at uni. You need to *separate* your finances, not merge them. If you don't do this, there is nothing you can do to help, as before you know it you will have your own debt collectors chasing you. This is very serious, so do listen.

Did you try seeing an elder your mother respects from her own culture, seeing if they can get through to her?

Remember she is your mother, not your child, however she acts - you MUST separate your finances out from the family's if you want to help. You will be no help at all if you go down with a sinking ship, and you are in no position to mend everything financially at all.

Alekjenderbo

I just read the FOS decision that bind. Covers make money with a stolen card when a family member knows the PIN. You have nothing to lose by going this way and is much easier than the need to involve the police. She is not the victim of crime. It is to them to make any set position. They are trying to avoid returning the money to avoid a loss of their own. the FOS will resolve the issue.