weekly budgets...

georgiasmum

No one has the right to insist or berate you for doing or not doing these things. I have often been inthe predicament of not being able to afford secret santa or meals out so you are not alone. You don't owe anyone an explanation - just excuse yourself and say it is personal reasons. Last year I was honest with my boss and said I just couldn't afford it. The amazing thing was she confided she couldn't really either and one by one people came out of the woodwork lamenting their financial state. Upshot of my honesty was that we did something much more affordable and made a pact not to go with the flow just for the sake of it!

This year everyone is so much happier. :j :j :j

saintly_2

thats the thing, people probably cant afford it but go along with the ride as they are too scared to say no.

There is a girl in the office who is trying to sell her jewellery as she is so badly in debt, i have spoke to her about this site and she is lookin at claimin her charges back, but i have spoke to her about postin an SOA speakin to payplan cccs etc and she is to scared to say no to these people askin for money all the time. she hasnt got a penny to her name, she is hopin her book grant for uni comes through to pay for presents for the kids at xmas. I will convince her to join my revolution!!!

eden37

We have a present fund at work and all chip in £1 per month by standing order and it pays for leaving pressies or new baby pressies. We do not give anything for birthdays and this seems to work well. I think a few quid practically every week is too much but I would find it hard to say no , so my sympathies with the O P. At least your boss seems to be suportive. As for Christmas I am sending one card to the office for everyone and a pack of biccies to share-If anyone objects TOUGH!!!

nevadagirl

We have a twist to our Secret Santa, you have to make your own. I usually knit something and get rid of spare wool I have left over in the house, but we've had some really inventive (and inexpensive!) gifts given at work.

A few I can remember are cuttings out of the garden, flavoured olive oil, decorated plant pots, a handmade vegetarian recipe book with recipes found on the internet, a holiday survival kit (basically a list of must-see places at their destination found on the internet and put in a notebook), a blog set up for someone's cat, all sorts, really.

It doesn't have to be free but quite a few of them were, or only cost pence! Part of the fun was finding out how inventive everyone had been. There was a limit of a fiver so you could spend money on some bits and bobs to go in it. We also do a pot luck Christmas dinner in the Board Room with a quiz afterwards. We get five pounds a head out of the staff fund towards our Christmas meal, so that goes on soft drinks and a few bottles of wine.

The best thing is, you're still allowed to say no and nobody really minds. Because you HAVE to make it, you can say 'I'm rubbish at making things', or 'I've got too much on just now' and not 'I don't want the extra expense'.

Plus we always end up with too much food, so we have to say 'only bring enough for one person' but people still bring tons, you could bring a bag of peanuts and you've still contributed. If anyone here is in charge of the Christmas festivities and thinks their colleagues would go for it, you won't be disappointed! I've had some lovely, really personal gifts over the last couple of years and the 'work Christmas do' has been a real break, not just an excuse to spend money.

Callisto

All the birthday/charity/xmas collections at work really get on my nerves too...

I was on holiday for a few days last week and got back to an email demanding £1 towards a bottle of wine that had been bought for a manager... it's not the small amount of money that bothers me, it's the presumption of other people on the team that everyone must contribute. I do usually give to birthdays for people I know, but I'm certainly not giving to people who I don't know or don't like...

Also, there seem to be endless charity collections, plus there have been various book/cake sales to raise money for the staff christmas buffet - we were asked to bring in books and cakes for them to sell for our christmas food?? They may as well just have docked the money they needed from our salary as we are technically paying for our own buffet!!

taplady

I'm sorry about what has happened , how dare she do that to you!:mad: it makes me so angry! nobody should be made to feel guilty because they are short of money.Your finances are nobodys business but your own.
Don't feel guilty, there's no need.She should be the one feeling guilty!

You are in the right just try and ignore her. Big hugs from me:grouphug:

angelite_2

Hi, I would just like to add my support too. At my work, I know that people dont put into collections if they dont want to and nothing is said. We have a few nights out with different departments/agencies. I have opted to go to one and to a lunch with my own department, but I am certainly not going to a night out where I feel that people get bxxched about and dont bother to speak to me most of the time anyway.

I think that people can be so insensitive and agree with others who have posted and said that your colleague has self esteem issues. She maybe enjoys the power she feels she has over others, but it really sounds like she is a sad individual. It takes a lot to stand up to the crowd, but dont be bullied into this playground attitude. Good luck tomorrow x

tootles_2

:mad: :mad: :mad: This sort of thing makes me so cross....some years ago I lived in Scotland and worked in a goverment dept there. We were setting up home after splitting from our partners and had no spare money, we did not even have a bank account, both lots of wages were paid into an account at the building society where we drew cash with a card, and bills were paid by standing order. I had not been there long when I was informed that I was expected to put £5 a week into a pool in the office for birthdays etc and that we bought cakes for the office (45 people) on our birthdays.......I refused to have anything to do with either scheme.....I could not afford £20 a month it was just over half my houskeeping budget for a month for the two of us.....I was ostracised from that moment on, life was made very difficult for me, how I managed to stick it for 4 years I will never know. I was accused of taking a job that should have gone to a Scot, being a scrooge because I would not contribute and a killjoy because I did not go out each month when we got paid and get stinking drunk.......a common occurance, it was usual for most of the office to take a half day on payday and start drinking at lunchtime...

Please do not allow this person to upset you, stick to your principles, if anything else is said just ignore it, rise above it...........have a big hug from me and stick you your guns................

saintly_2

Well an update this morning, I came in to work ready to speak to her, was just about to until my cow of a boss butted in. anyway after they had finished their conversation about what clothes they were wearing for a night out she turned to me and said “I am starting a collection for michaels graduation present, I need £10 from everyone preferably before christmas” I had to walk away before I blew up at her!!!!!! I have just come back to my desk after nearly throwing something at her but now I am calm, there is no getting through to her, the only thing I can do is ignore her for today and speak to her next week when I’m over it and tell her NO.

Thanks everyone for your help

xx

newlywed

Where I used to work there was an envelope that was passed round and people secretly put in what they wanted to - or nothing if they didn't want to. It was optional and a big firm so if you didn't even know someone you wouldn't want to contribute to their leaving present!

How about saying, I'm sorry but if I contribute £10 then that comes out of my food budget and I won't be able to afford to eat anything this week and won't be fit for work!!

Or how about I'll get a present/card separately?? And then just get a card or something?