Worrying!

MrsBryan_2

I've just been noticing that there's a lot of threads about people splitting up from their OH, including my one about my brother and SIL......it's just made me a bit sad really. Lots of family members are coming on here for advice for their loved one, it seems to be happening quite a lot.

I'm getting married in just over 3 weeks and to think this could happen to us years down the line........at this point in time, we've been together 12 years already so I really do believe we'll be together for the rest of our lives, we just love each other so much. But so did my brother and SIL, which is what scares me!

We're going to be trying for a baby once we're married which we are both SO excited about, it's what we've both always wanted, and now feel ready to start the next part of our life together. But then I worry about to being able to concieve. My best friend, other SIL and my cousin have all had problems, I know how common it is. Then I'm worrying about if when we do have a baby, will it afffect our relationship? We've been on our own for 12 years, just me and him, doing whatever we want, will it change us?
See what I mean about worrying? I know you can't tell what's going to happen in the future but, lately, I've just been worrying about everything!

Maybe it's seeing whats happening to my brother that's scaring me. If it can happen to him, then it can happen to anyone! They seemed to be the perfect couple, which I think has made it a lot harder.

I think I might just be a bit stressed and emotional about everything. Please tell me it's a bit of pre-wedding jitters and I'm not going to feel like this forever! Feel like I'm going mad!!

Kimberley82

Its always depressing to when everyone around you starts splitting.

GobbledyGook

It can happen to anyone, but I think you should look at the fact you are thinking about this as an advantage. If you are aware of the fact that you could split up you will strive to work on your relationship and not fall into the trap of thinking everything will always be fine. If you know that a child will change your relationship then equally so.

It never, ever occurred to me that my marriage could fall apart so when it did the impact was something out of this world. I had never ever thought about life without my husband and perhaps that didn't help our marriage because we were complacent.

Take your worry and turn it to your advantage. You will have tough patches in your marriage, you will have rocky patches and being prepared for them will mean that when they come you can concentrate on dealing with them rather than having to deal with your own shock first. Both my ex and I have come to the conclusion that our marriage may have been savable if we weren't both totally and utterly gobsmacked that we were in trouble because that left us floundering so much we had no idea how to communicate or fix things.

pigpen

KH and I were together 20 years when we split... there is never a guarantee it'll work.. but i am just glad people in horrible abusive marriages don't have to be miserable forever any more.