*wave*

Blue_Elephant

hi,

I go to see OH about twice a month so that's 140 - the rest is for commuting to work/transport to get anywhere else.

He comes to see me the other 2 weekends.

I kinda want these expenses to be the last to go but I'll have to see :S I'm trying to make this less by getting advance tickets etc but have only recently cottoned on to that - until last year I qualified for a YP Railcard, so didn't really think about it.

the £50 is what I give mum towards my "share" of groceries/laundry stuff etc. Parents do have an allotment and I have an Indian family so a lot of the food is hm/scratch anyway.

Spending Diary seems to be the way to go, and looking out for advanced rail tickets - he's just moved to London so still figuring all of that out, but as we met in Australia and he only got back to this country in January, we're still figuring out a whole load of "real life" things. Also the money I'm spending on going to see him was previously going towards the debts.

The smoking does have to go/be cut down/go onto roll ups. Once I've got my head around all this I'm going to set a quit date, and hopefully this time be successful!

Thank you all so much for your help - I just wish I'd bitten the bullet sooner.

Blue_Elephant

Doubtful_Guest wrote: »

Also, maybe I'm misunderstanding your SOA but you seem to be paying £100 per month towards your overdraft which has no minimum repayment and an interest rate of 18.9%. You would be far better using that to pay off your Barclaycard which has interest of 29.9%.

You need to snowball. Pay off the highest interest rates first. Plus it would give you a psychological boost to pay off one of your debts completely.

Um yes. You make a good point. That changes this month. and CC is going in a drawer and will no longer sit in my wallet looking at me while we're on the subject. I didn't know my APRs until today when I checked them in order to put the SOA up. I bank online and pay DDs to my creditors, so hadn't been paying much notice :embarrassed:

ms_london

Hi Blue Elephant

I was also about to mention that you should be proud of yourself for your travels - a lot of people can't/don't get to do that, and if you'd had a mortgage, you may not have been able to jet off so easily! I did the same, was away for 2 years though, now I'm 30 and only just starting thinking about saving for a mortgage! I think once I've bought my own place and had that 'achievement' I'll probably get bored and want to jet off travelling again! Be thankful that you have returned at a better time and not in the midst of the recession (like me!) - nothing worse than having an amazing time travelling and it taking a good 2 years to actually find a permanent job! Boo.

xx

MonkeyMad

Blue_Elephant wrote: »

hey

Doubtful Guest It is definitely a motivational problem. There are so many things I want to do, but put off due to finances and then berate myself as I know I could get there faster if I wasn't so stupid with money. That seems to be a good idea though, thank you.

So you are going to have to suck it up and put in some short term effort for long term gain I'm afraid.

If you could stop smoking that is £100p/m, didn't travel to London for one month that would be £140 saved (might be difficult not to see OH, but probably wont kill you to spend a month apart, perhaps use up all £25 worth of mobile minutes instead)

To be philosophical, life is about choices, and you are making yours where the money is concerned, so I'll be brutal and not accept a 'I'm stupid with money' attitude as a default position. Unless we have unlimited funds, we all have to be able to justify everything we spend, so there are several things you can do to help:

Don't carry cash / cards to avoid impulse spends
Don't buy large ticket items on the first visit / internet click - wait and mull it over for a day or two
Work out how many days you would need to work to pay for the item in question (at total cost including any interest)
Substutute the word 'debt' whenever you see 'credit'

Hope I don't sound too preachy, but your situation doesn't look hopeless by any means YOU just need to control the money instead of the other way round
.

Blue_Elephant

Ms_london, Thanks! I actually got back a while ago but was lucky in that the employer I quit in order to go travelling took me back on, no questions asked when I got back. Given I was in arrears with the loan at the time, I don't know what I would have done if the situation had been different.

As for the London thing - I'm going to see if we can do it just every other weekend - I go to him once, and he comes up to see me once - when he comes here there are associated costs as I can't stay with him at my parents - whole other story there.

My CC has gone into my locked cashbox thingy I've had and barely used as has the cash/debit card for the account where my overdraft is (my wages go into a different current account)

Monkeymad - you don't sound preachy and as for brutal, a good swift kick up the proverbial is exactly what I need right now. Might sound stupid, but even if I have to justify myself to strangers on the internet, it still means I have to justify myself and could be the nudge I need when I'm about to do something stupid!

x

dreamdreamer

Hi Blue Elephant :hello:

Just wanted to say welcome to the boards! You've had some sound advice already. Long distance relationships are hard going so I'd tend to agree with you that your time with your OH should be the last thing to go, but that doesn't mean you can't save money by getting organised with the train tickets - you can get advance fares from Manchester to London for £17 (single) if you buy far enough in advance so there is about £70 a month to be saved there.

Any chance of more hours or overtime in your job? Or of getting some evening work etc? Upping your income is always easier than cutting your expenses!

You say you don't know how much you spend on entertainment/clothes etc so a spending diary is a must - you will be AMAZED where it all goes!

Anyway keep your chin up and don't beat yourself up too much - I followed a similar path to you, went travelling, p*ssed money up walls left right and centre etc, and aged 25 had 16k of debt so far worse than you! But now 2 years later I've cleared the vast majority of my debt, have a mortgage, and am "settled". I wouldn't change my experiences for the world though and am so glad I did the travelling. There is nothing wrong with living a little before you enter the "grown up" world! Sadly though at some point we all have to do it! If I can knuckle down and sort it out, so can you!!

Dreamer

xx

elfen

Blue Elephaqnt, is it worth getting a normal railcard. It's £25 for the year and you should recoup that easily

GeorgieFTB

Blue

Well done for posting, I've only just grown up (read got a mortgage) in the last year. Several years of saving before that!!

You need to figure out what is the most important spends, your OH is up there but you are going to have to work to get the costs down. Whatever you need to do to get control and grow up, do it... Even if it is giving up control... do you need to hand over the key of the lock box to your mum, can you trust yourself or is all your spending just impulsive?

It will be interesting to see your new SOA when you have finished a month of your spending diary...

Well done for starting to sort it out, and if you need a swift kick up the jacksee then there is always someone on here to help out!

Gx

Dharma_Bunny

Elfen, OP doesn't qualify for a railcard anymore.
I think you might be thinking of the Network Railcard, and that only applies to the South East.

If she books her tickets ahead of time though, she might be able to make big savings.

Blue_Elephant

Rightio update time!

Dreamdreamer looking at advance tickets now for the coming months - what makes it harder is that I'm required to work some Saturdays as part of my job and as we only get schedules 4 weeks in advance it's sometimes too late to get the cheap tickets, but will see if people are willing to swap weekend shifts so I can plan further in advance.

There's a hold on overtime at the moment and I work a 4 day a week/10 hour a day shift and my day off is variable, and again only get rotas 4 weeks ahead so a second job would be difficult, will look at it if other things don't work. Though I think a big part of my problem is money management rather than insufficient funds if that makes sense?

Thank you for your story - proof that this isn't forever and it WILL get better, even if I have to learn difficult lessons along the way :eek:

I have started a Spending Diary yesterday with it being the first of the month and it's working wonders already! I was in town helping a friend find a dress today and so many times I picked something up and thought "that's nice I'll get that" Then remembered a) my credit card was at home so I'd have to buy it out of "real money" and b) I'd have to go home and write it down by which point I'd be annoyed with myself! as c) it wasn't things I really needed. Not big things, but if I'd bought them all it would have cost me about £25!!

Elfen, Dharma Bunny is right - I no longer qualify for a railcard as I'm 27 and don't qualify under any of the other criteria

Georgie - Most of the spending is impulsive as I've shown above. I think the problem is partly *stick it on the CC as I'm not near the limit and I'll worry about it later* If I have to use cash/debit card that's real money that might run out. Does that sound silly?

The Spending Diary will probably be slightly skewed in that although I don't know how much I've been spending on entertainment/random stuff, the new SOA won't reflect my old ways because it's having the desired effect already. Although I do know this is early days and I'll be more careful in the euphoria of getting this sorted. I'll only be able to say for definite if it's working in a couple of months I suppose.

Oh and all nudges and kicks are appreciated