How can I be so good and so bad at the same time

Ches

The good bit. I am retired and have an occupational pension as well as the state pension. Both pensions are paid into my current account and all the household bills are paid from it by direct debit. I have all these transactions entered onto a spread sheet and know exactly to the penny how much is in there at any given time. I have no mortgage or household debt so overheads are quite low and I am able to save a considerable amount towards any large household calamities, holidays (2 or 3 per year) and nest egg savings. I bank on-line so am able to move monies to and from savings accounts as the need arises.

My OH pays all expenses for the car and gives me £100 per week ‘housekeeping’ money. He also pays for meals and drinks out and sometimes the supermarket bill if he is buying booze at the same time and I haven’t put too many food/cleaning items in the trolley.

My OH is a fussy eater so I made him help me make a list of the meals he would eat and together we have made a 30day meal plan for dinners. I keep everything I need in stock to make these meals and as items are used I add them to my weekly shopping list. This way I always have food stocks for a month. Might sound boring but it makes life so much easier.

From the £100 a week, I pay for food, presents, hobbies, clothes and cosmetics for me, my mobile phone, hairdresser etc. etc. And this is the bad bit, I struggle. It surely should be doable, shouldn’t it? Do you think the envelope system would work for me? And how can I do it when things like my mobile bill is paid monthly and I visit the hairdresser every 6 weeks? I also have a spending habit for clothes. Not in a huge way but more than I can really justify nevertheless. For instance today I spent £18.50p in the charity shop where I work. That’s 18 ½% of my weekly money and it wasn’t on anything I really needed. I also put things on my credit card which currently stands at £784 and which has to be paid from my weekly money. I know I could cut myself some slack by taking money from my bank account but I do feel that this is the soft option and not the answer so I prefer not to do this. And anyway if I paid it off I would likely run it up again spending as I do. I think the money I have should be more than sufficient to cover needs. I just need to stop the wants. I need to reign in my cash spending but I can’t see the way forward to being organised with it. Any ideas?

sophieschoice

As someone who spends way more than £100 for food alone for two of us I think you're doing rather well.
If I was looking to cut back then I'd freeze my credit card, literally in ice in the freezer, and stop taking cash to work.
One little tip is that I throw away my PIN number for my cc so can only use it online.
But I do enough damage with it on there!

Ches

Freezing the card is a good idea Sophie but I would be worried there may be an emergency while we are out and about. OH hasn't a card so I could give it to him to keep in his wallet as we normally out and about together. I pay for our holidays with the card as I get cash back and then transfer the money from savings so can't chuck the pin number but your post has given me food for thought so thank you.

exlibris

For irregular payments like the hairdresser could you work out the weekly cost and put away 5 weeks money per month so you have extra in that envelope/account?

Could you carry an extra purse with allowable luxury spending money in it and (here's the hard bit) DO NOT use the housekeeping?

tanith

I am in the same position as you , retired with state and occupational pension. Do you not use any of your own money to buy personal items, like phone , makeup , hair? I pay for all that stuff myself, pay half all the bills and mortgage. I manage very well and also save every month I don't understand why you are not using any of your own income for these things..it doesn't make sense to me unless I am misunderstanding what you have written.. I also can't get the logic of having a credit card bill when you have the money to either pay it off at the end of the month or not use in the first place

Ches

No I don't use any of my pension for personal use because I bought the house and pay for all the household bills and holidays. My OH only pays for the things I mentioned in my OP. The reason I don't pay off the cc bill with savings is also in my OP. And BTW my OH's pensions and my pensions are for roughly the same amount per month but I am quite happy with the arrangements.

chirpychick

For what its worth if it were me ( me now, not me 12 months ago LOL) i would use the savings to pay off the credit card :money: is always saying you are better to do that.

Then if i couldnt be trusted to not use the credit card on non essentials i would set up a 2nd current account and pay into it weekly either from savings or from weekly Housekeeping money. Then when i needed to pay for a holiday or have luxuries i couldnt otherwise afford or if there was an emergency then i would use the 2nd current account like a credit card and pay the money back into it as and when i could afford it always leaving a certain amount in there a bit like giving yourself your own credit limit.

I think that would work far better for you.

I would also work out what exactly comes out of the £100 and if you hair costs £30 every 6 weeks then save £5 a week in an envelope so you have the money readily available for the next time and so on.

I would also decide how much i would allow myself to spend on clothes per week etc.

I dont run my household exactly like this but i use elements and i find myself getting into competition with myself, how much can i save this week what treat can i reward myself with for having money left over etc etc.

Or you could divide it into daily amounts.

Anyway, these are a few ideas, i really hope they help.

maman

Ches, forgive me if I say the wrong thing as I'm not 100% sure I understand your OP but.... I would definitely pay off the credit card from savings and then resolve/plan never to let it build up again. Paying interest when you don't have to is just wasting money.

I wonder if this has happened recently as costs have been escalating or have you always had this problem? You say that this arrangement with your OH suits you It could be that you need to look again at all the outgoings. Possibly the things you pay for are the things that have gone up most and so the arrangement has become a bit unequal?

I'm in almost exactly the same position as you but my DH and I split everything 50:50. I pay almost everything either on line or by credit card and the we sort the finances out monthly. We even keep a 'petty cash' box that we each contribute to so that I don't have to dip into my purse for small purchases from markets, pound shops etc We've always done this to a certain extent but it became essential when our income dropped on retirement. When all bills are paid then everything else is ours to spend as we wish. That's where my clothes, cosmetics, hairdresser bills come from.

What I would recommend is that you try and have as many NSDs as you can. If you have a bit of credit on your phone for emergencies and assuming no birthdays coming up then food is the only essential spend until your next hair cut. For what you must spend keep a diary of all expenditure. Shop just once a week and only to a shopping list/meal plan so you only buy what you really need, using as much from store cupboard/freezer as possible. Try looking on the Grocery Challenge for ideas. Review the diary on a weekly/monthly basis to see where savings can be made. There are heaps of good ideas on these boards.

Good Luck. I certainly think it's perfectly doable.

Ches

Thanks to Exlibris, Chirpy chick and maman your contributions are very helpful. My OP was not about making ends meet but more about being as organised with my cash budget as I am with running my home budget. I don't have a problem with how OH and I use our money and my bank account works very well. OH gives me housekeeping money or pays for his 'bed and board' if thats clearer. Instead of paying that into my bank and then splitting everything and then withdrawing my spending money I pay the bills and use the cash he gives me for the cash spending. But its all the same really. I have more than enough being paid into my bank and save quite a huge amount per month out of it. I don't want to take money from my savings to pay off the cc because the bill was run up by me because I have been overspending on my cash budget. I therefore should, I believe, pay it out of my £100 per week. Paying interest is my punishment I guess. Your last paragraph was really helpful Maman and hits the spot. Chirpychick I really appreciate your post and the suggestion to open a second bank account is inspired. Thank you all so much for taking the time and trouble to reply.

zippychick

Hi Ches

as you've had some really helpful advice from the OSers and this has dropped down the page, I've moved it to the Budgeting board to see if you can get some other helpful advice over here.

I hope you are able to get a handle on it all

Zip

Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere (please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com"]forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].

Cmdr_Bond

Ches wrote: »

Thanks to Exlibris, Chirpy chick and maman your contributions are very helpful. My OP was not about making ends meet but more about being as organised with my cash budget as I am with running my home budget. I don't have a problem with how OH and I use our money and my bank account works very well. OH gives me housekeeping money or pays for his 'bed and board' if thats clearer. Instead of paying that into my bank and then splitting everything and then withdrawing my spending money I pay the bills and use the cash he gives me for the cash spending. But its all the same really. I have more than enough being paid into my bank and save quite a huge amount per month out of it. I don't want to take money from my savings to pay off the cc because the bill was run up by me because I have been overspending on my cash budget. I therefore should, I believe, pay it out of my £100 per week. Paying interest is my punishment I guess. Your last paragraph was really helpful Maman and hits the spot. Chirpychick I really appreciate your post and the suggestion to open a second bank account is inspired. Thank you all so much for taking the time and trouble to reply.

Personally I would pay off the card out of the savings - that would be the punishment IMO. Then you are not throwing money away, which is what you are doing now.

If you are paying off the card out of your £100 then it is simple - pay of the card out of your savings and the money you were putting on the card (say £20 per week) goes back into your savings. Thus making money by not incurring interest charges. Your £100 per week is now reduced to £80 per week and everyone is happy.