Do grandparents have any access rights?

NAR

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

We dont know the whole situation -

Maybe not, but OP stated "Hi my auntie has fallen out with her son and hes stopped her seeing his kids" which is what I based my statement on!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

NAR wrote: »

Maybe not, but OP stated "Hi my auntie has fallen out with her son and hes stopped her seeing his kids" which is what I based my statement on!

ok - but for example: (sorry to use your post OP!)

"hi my auntie (who is violent) has fallen out with her son (because auntie smacked the child quite harshly for a small reason) and hes stopped her (quite rightly) seeing his kids"

as we dont know what the argument is about we cant really say the son is in the wrong if you see what i mean

clearingout

Nanna_Annie wrote: »

My son died a few weeks ago and was in the procces of divorcing his wife, she is a nasty person and is always phoning the police. She has stoped all contact with my late sons family, he is only 8 and cannot even talk to his little cousins, I have spoken to a solicitor and it will cost me thousands to go through the courts to get access to him. Legal aid is not available for these matters. She will not even speak to me. So not only have I lost my son I have lost my grandson, I love him so much and there is not a single thing I can do, I have arranged for the social worker to go see him but even they hold out no hope for me at all. I have been on the phone for 2 days now trying to sort this out but there is NOTHING I can do but pray I win the lotto to get enough money to pay for all this. I pray he will come looking for me when he is old enough. I am keeping all the information I have gathered so if he does come looking for me he will see I tried everything in my power to stay in contact. There is no reasoning with her. She is only thinking of herself and not my grandson. Please do not do this to your kids, think of them not the grown ups. Thank you

It would be worth a look at the Families Need Fathers website - have a google. They are not a 'father only' or 'male only' domain and will help women who struggle with contact issues. You don't always need a solicitor to go to court - you have nothing to lose by trying to do it yourself. I am sorry to hear about your son - hope you are able to find some peace and retain your relationship with your grandson.

flutterby_lil

My son does not see his paternal grandparents - he sees my parents (maternal grandparents) and also my partners mum who he calls grandma. He does not miss out. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Abbafan1972

My 2 dd's don't see my in-laws anymore and haven't done for nearly a year. We were always expected to take the kids round there every time the mil phoned. She would always phone on a Friday to see them that weekend and we could never plan anything. Dh got fed up and he stopped taking them round. Mil has told other family members that she's not allowed to see them, but we've never stopped her, she can come round when she wants, it's just that she won't, despite living less than a mile away. Birthday/Xmas cards get sent in the post with money enclosed.

I had a go at mil the once, as when it was the kids birthdays or Xmas, she would dump the presents in the porch, ring the doorbell and drive off.

No effort on her part is made to see my dd's and dh and I agree we're better off without them.

kataklysm

NAR wrote: »

How sad it is to see people resorting to using innocent children as pawns in their arguments/disputes. :mad:

True, although as this has happened in my own family, I know that when a substantial amount of money is loaned, risking the parent's financial security, and the child decides not to pay it back, it goes sour all on its own. The children are just innocent bystanders. Forcing contact in a situation like this will do more harm than good.. Imagine the lies they've been fed, would the parents honestly let them near the grandparents for fear of them questioning the 'truth'? And indeed, such an arrangement surely trivialises the hurt caused to the grandparents.

Sigh. I sincerely hope they repair the rift, it's a pain that doesn't go away.

Remember folks: Money and family DO NOT MIX!!

Darlyd

Jeremy Kyle? Seriously they can and will help you..

mum2one

flutterby_lil wrote: »

My son does not see his paternal grandparents - he sees my parents (maternal grandparents) and also my partners mum who he calls grandma. He does not miss out. I wouldn't want it any other way.

My daughter has a super replationship with my parents, unfortunately she has a very poor relationship with her paternal grandparents, their precious son denied for 5 yrs that he had a child, then when he eventually said oh its true, they have caused nothing but hassle, twice they have had to have solicitors letters telling them to back off, as they caused so much trouble, and now there involved by the skin of their teeth, its borderline as to whether they stay in DD life.

Yet from day one my Uncle and Aunt took over the role of the 2nd grandparents, and she loves them to bits, she has never missed out.

mum2one

NAR wrote: »

How sad it is to see people resorting to using innocent children as pawns in their arguments/disputes. :mad:

Unfortunately they dom my ex, how has never seen his daughter, shes nearly nine, now he has a son he is using his son as a pawn it the court system that his son needs to get to know his half sister.... never mind the fact that the childs mother already has 6 children... sure he's got enough family to be getting on with,

Yes that may seem harse, but when for 9 yrs, the first 5 yrs he refused to acknowledge that she was his daughter, the later 4, not wanting anything to do with her. Shes not a pawn, but unfortunately shes being driven through the court system and cafcass, and all the hassle that goes with it, so he can play happy families.... Yet he couldn't see his daughter when he lived 3 miles away, how the heck is he going to see her 70 miles away!!

I would say put the child first, as an adult we can cope with the system, a child can't.

Wilma33

Nanna_Annie wrote: »

My son died a few weeks ago and was in the procces of divorcing his wife, she is a nasty person and is always phoning the police. She has stoped all contact with my late sons family, he is only 8 and cannot even talk to his little cousins, I have spoken to a solicitor and it will cost me thousands to go through the courts to get access to him. Legal aid is not available for these matters. She will not even speak to me. So not only have I lost my son I have lost my grandson, I love him so much and there is not a single thing I can do, I have arranged for the social worker to go see him but even they hold out no hope for me at all. I have been on the phone for 2 days now trying to sort this out but there is NOTHING I can do but pray I win the lotto to get enough money to pay for all this. I pray he will come looking for me when he is old enough. I am keeping all the information I have gathered so if he does come looking for me he will see I tried everything in my power to stay in contact. There is no reasoning with her. She is only thinking of herself and not my grandson. Please do not do this to your kids, think of them not the grown ups. Thank you

You don't have to use a solicitor. The worst that can happen is that you loose and you end up in the same situation you are now (only when he is older your grandson will know you tried through the courts).

Also, continue to send birthday and xmas cards. Use different handwritting on the envelope so it can't easily be filtered out.