DD6 Overprotective or Reasonable concern

michaels

DD6 has a play date today.

WE do not let her play on the street alone or with friends but we live on a straight road where cars can easily go at 30.

Today she has a play date with a friend who is same year at school but 7. They live in an estate. Last time friends mother let them play out in the estate without her watching, mostly with some older children but this was not arranged so seemed to be hit and miss whether there was anyone with the two young girls.

To me this is too young for unsupervised play 'out' and I think we will speak to friend's mother but am I just being overprotective?

Anacrusis

Trust your instincts. I don't have children that age now but if I do at some point then I'll see how I feel at the time. In generalI think it's better to let them play out, so maybe you should give it a try... but you're responsible for your daughter so it's up to you.

Bloomin_Freezing2

My dd is 5 (class mates are 6 as she is the youngest in her class), there is NO WAY I would let her play out unsupervised. why do they need to play in the street anyway at that age? When dd has been to friends houses they all play either in their bedrooms or gardens. I think you are correct in your concerns and would say something too.

bella2121

I agree my DS is 6 end of may and there is no way he would be allowed to play out unsupervised and I cant see this changing in the near future either, when we go to OH's aunty's house I will let DS cousin take him on the playing field directly in front of the house but the cousin is 11 but that is the only time. I dont think your being overprotective at all just a concerned parent, I talked about this with a friend the other day I told her I wont let him play out just cause other kids parents think its acceptable (some kids near me have been playing out since they where 3!!! i think its terrible).

OMG just read that back! seems like i'm having a right rant lol but its just my opinion, your childs safety should be a top priority

Threebabes

We live in a cul de sac on a quiet estate and I would let my DD who is 7 play out without any supervision. Shes either out with her sister who is 11 or my neighbours 2 kids who are 5 and 7 and one of them always supervises. It would depend on where they lived and what the street was like.

themull1

I wouldn't have let my kids go at that age, fine in a garden or house, not on the street.

balletshoes

michaels wrote: »

DD6 has a play date today.

WE do not let het play on the street alone or with friends but we live on a straight road where cars can easily go at 30.

Today she has a play date with a friend who is same year at school but 7. They live in an estate. Last time friends mother let them play out in the estate whithout her watching, mostly with some oldr children but this was not arranged so seemed to be hit and miss whether there was anyone with the two young girls.

To me this is to young for unsupervised play 'out' and I think we will speak to friend's mother but am I just being overprotective?

it depends really - is the 7-year old savvy enough to stay on the pavements/cross the road sensibly/watch out for vehicles? If the 7-year old knows the streets she's playing on with your DD, and your DD isn't silly around traffic and is happy to do as she's told, I don't think I would have a problem, as long as they didn't leave the immediate vicinity of the house (my rule is they don't leave the street, although our street is a crescent so they aren't always in my line of sight).

If you're worried about it, just have a word with the 7-year olds parents, ask if they can play in the garden/on the pavement in full view of the house etc.

I do tend to trust the parents of whoever my child has gone to play with, but I do also know that one child who comes to my house to play has parents who are more restrictive with her at her house about going out alone etc, so I do watch out more for them when she is playing at ours.

patchwork_cat

It depends on the estate and the children and the supervision. I let my DD play out with a friend of the same age at about 6, her big brother and other children where usually around, but not always. I kept a north eye on her as I believe did the other mum. Lots of kids on our road play out about that age there is a couple of boys who played out from younger and I felt that they were too young. We live on a cul de sac. She was very sensible as was her friend.

We had rules as well, not passed the end etc.

pigpen

My children are much older and not allowed to play in the street. We live in a 20mph zone with a high student population so not particularly an unsavoury area but I don't think playing inthe street is appropriate supervised or not!

Mine are permitted to walk to the park with friends or the older ones together from about 13, the park being 5 minutes away.

Most people think I am overprotective but I disagree, I can't see why small children need to be in the street like Victorian urchins when we have a perfectly adequate garden to play in without cars, strangers or dogs.

I'd suggest the friend came to play at mine rather than risk DD being out running amok in the street. Which is possibly why I ended up with 14 children at my house yesterday! :eek:

msb5262

Hello OP,
You mention your DD possibly playing out on an estate where there will presumably be traffic.
PLEASE be aware that children of 6 and 7 are not capable of judging the speed of cars accurately - research shows this to be the case. It's actually thought that children need to be 11 or 12 before they can make this sort of judgement safely.
HTH
MsB

michaels

It is slightly tricky - we have a fairly large garden whereas at friends house it is a handkerchief so I don't want to give the impression that we are passing judgement on the fact that their garden is too small for playing in...

TBH I also agree with you that kids shouldn't generally just spend their time 'hangin' on the street as their is then all the peer pressure to push the limits of behaviour.

pigpen wrote: »

My children are much older and not allowed to play in the street. We live in a 20mph zone with a high student population so not particularly an unsavoury area but I don't think playing in the street is appropriate supervised or not!

Mine are permitted to walk to the park with friends or the older ones together from about 13, the park being 5 minutes away.

Most people think I am overprotective but I disagree, I can't see why small children need to be in the street like Victorian urchins when we have a perfectly adequate garden to play in without cars, strangers or dogs.

I'd suggest the friend came to play at mine rather than risk DD being out running amok in the street. Which is possibly why I ended up with 14 children at my house yesterday! :eek: