MIL2B is really starting to annoy me now!

walby1993

Hi all,

I am getting married in 3 weeks and I am just about ready to fly of the handle at MIL2B as well as a couple of other in-laws-to-be! Both SIL2B, who aged 12 and 19, are some of my bridesmaids (I also have four friends). On the night before the wedding I will be staying at my parents house, as will my nan who lives in Wales (we are in London). My MIL2B mentioned a few weeks ago that she was going to drop off the two SIL2B at my parents house at 9am (I am not getting married until 3:30pm!) which really annoyed me as previously I had said definately not before 11am. Anyway I decided on Friday the best way round it was to send a generic text to all bridesmaids saying that I want them to already have done their hair and make-up and then to come over at 1pm to give the photographer time to take photos of them. Anyway I recieve a text back from the 12 yr old SIL2B (I bet MIL2B made her send the text back cos she knows I wont be as blunt to her) saying "mum needs to get herself ready and doesnt know how long her hair will take because she is getting it done at 11. She can't get us over to you before 1pm so she asked if she can bring me and other SIL2B at 10am instead"!!!!!!

Needless to say I was fuming but was not going to give in! I replied that no, that was not ok and couldn't the other SIL2B's boyfriend bring them over. She replied that I would have to talk to them myself to sort it out!!!!!!! I am absolutely fuming!!! My responsibility is to get the bridesmaids to and from the church, thats it. And !!!!!! does MIL2B think I will be doing all day - obviously I have plenty of time to babysit her daughters! Not being funny but her hair will take max of an 1hr which means she would be done by 12pm and she only lives 20mins from my mum so what is the problem with dropping them off at 1pm?!??!

Am I being petty or am I right to be so annoyed??

hcb42

i guess it is normal for bridesmaids to be there early and get ready together, but up to you ultimately!

walby1993

But this is the thing - its a small 3 bed house and there will already be me, my parents, my brother, my nan, hairdresser, make-up artist and photograher there. Thats 8 people already, the last thing I want is another 6 bridesmaids there. I have made it quite clear from the beginning that they will be getting themselves ready (can't afford make-up and hair x6). Not only that, I dont think my two SIL2B could care less about the whole "bridesmaids getting ready together" thing - MIL2B wants to spend all day, child-free, as though she is 18, trying to play the "look at what your missing" game with FIL2B who she is divorced from. Not only that this is just the last straw in a catalogue of things she has done/said.

RainbowDrops

I'd say it'd be best to speak to MiL2B in person diretly, rather than by text, explaining that you need to beable to start the day as you have planned to ensure that you're not stressed.

Will be much quicker thn going aroun the houses trying to come up with a solution.

mrbrightside842

At 12 and 19 you won't need to babysit them. I'm sure they could sit and watch tv somewhere. Are your other 4 bridesmaids getting ready before they come to your house, or are they getting ready there?

walby1993

I did stop texting as I was getting more and more annoyed. If somebody told me it wasn't convienent for me to be at their house at a certain time, on any day of the year, I wouldn't keep going on at them because it didn't suit me - its just plain rude! I was very, very clear that it wasn't convienent for them to be there. And as I have already pointed out, there is absolutely no reason for them to need to be there at 10am. Not only that MIL2B says she needs to drop them off that early as SHE needs to get ready - !!!!!! does she think I will be doing all day?
I would need to "babysit" them - making sure they eat a dinner (as we are having an afternoon wedding on a budget we are only having a buffet), making sure they have something to drink, sorting out the sisterly squabbles etc. And all the other bridesmaids have not made a fuss about coming at 1pm.
Like I said, this is not an isolated incident. MIL2B and FIL2B don't talk and MIL2B made a whole big deal about how she wouldn't say anything and spoil our big day. Then when my H2B told her his idea of how to seat her and FIL2B in church so they are both still on front row but seperated by other people she made a big fuss with comments like "oh great, that will be fun" and "can't I sit on the other side of the church".
There have been other instances too but I have tried to not say anything just to keep the peace but I am getting more and more fed up with it now.

moongarden

Can't FIL2B take the girls for the morning and bring them over when you are ready?

walby1993

Nope, youngest SIL2B doesn't speak to FIL2B after he told her his new girlfriend came before her!

MrsDrink

Could you ask them to compromise and say you can look after them from 11am? (Which was your original time?) Otherwise could your chief bridesmaids or one of your other bridesmaids help out and take them in for you and bring them round at 1?

What does your fiance say to all of this? Could he help smooth things over - especially as they are his family?

While I can understand your need to vent, and this is probably the final straw, and it is so close to your wedding... just remember at the end of the day regardless of what happens you will be married Then just think they won't be In-Laws-To-Be - they'll be fully fledged In-Laws :rotfl:

LillythePink

Just stand your ground and say no - they can't come at 10.

You're not being unreasonable - this is your day no-one elses.

What would she be doing with them if they weren't bridesmaids and she needed to get her hair done?

Why can't they stay at home and then MIL bring them over after her hair? Surely an 19 yo can look after her 12 yo sister?

LegalBlonde

How far away from yours will they be - surely a 19 yo could get herself and her sister to yours! at a time that suits you!