Is it *worth* me going back to work?

Spendless

DH came home yesterday with a £5K pay rise :j . Since having DS nearly 7 years ago I have had a part-time job in a shop for 2 years (very boring, but shifts weren't long so could cope). Since I had DD 3.5 years ago I have only had a 6 month part time dinner lady job (okay,and meant I didn't need to find childcare for older one, but not keen enough to do it long term).

Earlier this year I went back to college to get some qualifications for the type of admin work I used to do (technology has advanced a lot since I left full-time work). I passed all that, and am currently doing a small part time course (2 hours a week) which fits in with 3yo school nursery hours.

There is a course I would have liked to have done this year but couldn't due to DD going to school nursery, and decided to put off till next Sept when she will be at full-time school. This course runs a whole academic year within school times , so I can do my own pick ups/drop offs, be home in school hols for DD reception year (something the eldest has always had)and would leave me able to look for some sort of admin job from Sept 08 when the children will be 8.5 and 5.5.

But if DH career is going from strength to strength, is it worth me going back .
Financially we do not need the money to pay the bills. The areas where we struggle are holidays. re-decorating, needing new furniture, replacing my car, but these area should become easier with the pay rise.
I've listed the pros and cons of going back to work

Pros

• I am bored at home, just doing housework.
• I am lonely -most of my friends have kids older than mine and are at work during day themselves.
• It is insurance in case I ever have to support the family (ill-health, death, hubby running off with bar-maid)

Cons

• I am unlikely to ever earn much (not ambitious enough) and would highly likely work just to pay childcare in hols.
• I know from experience you will always have bad days at work, could I cope with this, knowing I don't really *have* to be there.

I feel I should add that I am 40 so likely to be 42 before I even look for a job, and may find it difficult, will I find it even more difficult if I postpone working .
I have absolutely nothing against using childcare, there is a before, asc and holiday club at kids school, that DS has used when I was at college and loves.

Any views

ckerrd

You are in a fortunate position of financially not having to work.
However you seem reluctant to commit yourself.

If you have two years before you are thinking about it then have a good look round.
If you want to do the job because of the "social" aspects then make sure you find something that you like and will enjoy. The bonus is getting paid for it.

To quote Michael Grade (ex BBC now ITV)
"You do a job because you want to do it and you think you can do it – and then you have to be paid the rate for the job."

And don't worry about the age thing - legislation means that it is (largely) irrelevant

Emms

I think your Pros outweigh the Cons. It would be a great way to get you out and about and meeting new people.

Emma

Jet

[QUOTE

Pros

• I am bored at home, just doing housework.
• I am lonely -most of my friends have kids older than mine and are at work during day themselves.
• It is insurance in case I ever have to support the family (ill-health, death, hubby running off with bar-maid)

Cons

• I am unlikely to ever earn much (not ambitious enough) and would highly likely work just to pay childcare in hols.
• I know from experience you will always have bad days at work, could I cope with this, knowing I don't really *have* to be there.

I feel I should add that I am 40 so likely to be 42 before I even look for a job, and may find it difficult, will I find it even more difficult if I postpone working .
I have absolutely nothing against using childcare, there is a before, asc and holiday club at kids school, that DS has used when I was at college and loves.

Any views[/QUOTE]

I think too much emphasis is put on financial reward for things these days rather than the emotional rewards.

As long as going out to work, isn't going to cost you money, I would say go for it. Your pro's for doing it are very important. Being stuck at home and being lonely and bored is going to knock your confidence and self esteem. You can always take a part time job for just a few hours next year but also do a "fun" college course on a day when you're not working.

do_it_today!

Hi Spendless
you are in a lucky position!! if you are not under pressure to bring home a certain amount of income why not just do something you would really love to do - maybe even if it was voluntary for a few hours a week just for the sake of enjoying it - why force yourself to do a dull a job when you dont have too explore your interests through college courses or community notice boards and find something in an area of your interest and then take it from there!

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

Ok this might not be your cup of tea but in terms of a 'FUN' college course, i do beauty therapy one day a week. I know it is not everyones thing but it really is fun and rewarding. It will be 2 years before i am completely qualified, but after each term i get a certificate to say that i am qualified to perform a particular treatment (and i a can charge full prices) - i have just qualified on facials (facials that last 1 and 1/2 hrs - the proper deal like you would get in a top notch spa) As long as i get my insurance i am allowed to perform these treatments and being just outside london i can easily charge £30 an hour (that is the reccommended price given by our provider at the moment) I personally have not started doing treatments on the public yet as i feel it is all happening very quick and i need to find my feet a bit.

I went into the course knowing hardly anything about beauty - i hardly ever wear make-up and found to my surprise that you are expected to not wear any or just minimal. I love it - i have met loads of new friends - even one i meet up with once a week for lunch - also we have come to know each other well enough that if we want to go out the other can look after the little ones.

I was very miserable just being at home - i had been made redundant whilst i was on maternity leave and the jobs i were able to find were losing me money in terms of childcare, travel etc.

As you seem to have the support at home i think you should look into doing something where you will be able to work for yourself and even from home, if you wanted.

Sorry for gabbling on a bit too much - i hope this has given you some ideas maybe!

Good luck!!!!!!!!

Nicki

I've been in your position, although the earnings from my job would have been more than just what I paid out in childcare. What I decided was:

1. to give up the job, because the hours didn't really fit in with the children's commitments, and it was quite stressful rushing straight from work to childcare. Yes work does give you adult companionship but it is also a job, and hard work too. Working plus childcare leaves you exhausted, and if you aren't making much money out of it, you may end up wondering why you bother!

2. to enrol on some courses at my local AEI during the day in things which interested me. This was a way of keeping myself occupied, brain ticking over, and meeting other like minded adults who wanted to talk about things other than the children. There's a huge range of courses on offer from practical skills, to academic subjects, to keep fit and relaxation. This will also give you the social life, as inevitably you will meet people with whom you will have lunch or coffee at other times in the week as well

3. to do some voluntary work, to keep skills up to date, so if I do end up going back to work I have this on my CV and I won't be daunted by the whole idea. I decided to become a school governor, and spend about 2 days a week doing things for the schools I am involved with, setting my own times and to an extent my own agenda. I also help out with a couple of other local organisations on an ad hoc basis. There are any number of things you could do however, depending on your skills and interests.

I have to say this has worked for me. I'm in my 3rd year now, and happier than I was as a working mum, though I do sometimes miss the status of a career. It met all the pros and avoided all the cons of a paid job for me.

Savvy_Sue

I think Nikki's ideas are good: if you've got a passion for anything now would be the time to work out how to nurture it, and if you can find some voluntary work as well then if things change and you feel you HAVE to go to work your skills will be updated.

bootman

I agree that it is the lonely part of it that troubles me to. Like you I am fortunate that I do not have to work. But I do find I chat to anyone now either when I am out or if the poor postman knocks at the door.

I do work an hour and a bit at the village school at lunchtime, this breaks the day up. It also give a bit of pocket money. I get £170 a month 12 months of the year which I think is fine.

I could not go back to an office now being told what to do.

Spendless

bootman wrote:

I agree that it is the lonely part of it that troubles me to. Like you I am fortunate that I do not have to work. But I do find I chat to anyone now either when I am out or if the poor postman knocks at the door.

I do work an hour and a bit at the village school at lunchtime, this breaks the day up. It also give a bit of pocket money. I get £170 a month 12 months of the year which I think is fine.

I do talk to people if I'm out but it's usually just the mums on the school run (currently doing that 3 times a day). The rest of the time, whilst DD is at nursery I'm at home on my own, with no adult company. I just think if it's boring me now with DD out just 2.5 hours, will it be worse when she's at school all day.

I did do the school dinner lady, but I wasn't keen on the break up of the day, as it felt it restricted me if I did wish to go out anywhere.

Hmm lots to think about and thanks everyone for your views. I am swaying towards what Nicki has said. I will be continuing with my current 2 hours a week course as I have already paid for it, it fits in with school nursery hours and is the only day I do something different to coming home and tidying up.

I may as well continue with my plans for next Sept, since it is a heavily subsidised available to all course and will be within school hours, term time. Then I will have the skills needed should I ever need to go back to work.

Poppy9

I have worked part-time for the past 11 years. I love doing my 2.5 days a week. I'm lucky in that I have quite a senior positin and a decent wage. I couldn't work full time and I couldn't work at all. I also like the fact that if anything happened to OH then I can support the family.