I am worried....

Juicy_Tube

...about a cousin of mine, She has a littlie of 7 months.

She has been doing on-demand breast feeding since birth.

She is having real problems now getting him off
the boob, she still feeds him every 3 hours. He takes very little solid food.

She is absolutely exhausted and shattered, emotionally and physically..I think she is heading into depresssion too. I am worried...

She lives in a very remote area, which is fab in Summer, but not in Winter, so she is hardly getting out much?

The feeding issue is a big thing and i know what you are going to say..


but as I have a perfect sleeping and feeding child myself I do not want to rub noses and make too many commetnts myself?

Although I do not think she would see it as like that.I think she would be grateful for any advice now..

JT x

moozikgal

Hi,
Where abouts is it that you and your friend live? There are a network of baby cafes around the UK which have been set up for breastfeeding mums to drop in and get advice and help with feeding issues and weening. It can be very hard getting a little one to adapt to a new way of feeding, mainly because the boob is such a comfort to them.
I have problems myself with my 5 month old. i return to work after xmas and he wont take a bottle for love nor money! screams the place down. Sippy cups work better, at least the liquid goes into his mouth but then he spits it out and it doesnt matter if its milk or water!
Any baby can have whole fat cows milk from 6 months onwards. you can also start giving tastes of normal foods, minus salt or sugar. pureed veg or fruit can be a good start or even trying a method called baby lead weening which is giving the baby (over 6 months old) a selection of food cut up for them to feel and play with. banana, bread sticks, toast, oranges etc. let them play and taste things and give praise if they eat them. do it at meal times too when you are eating and it can help get them into a eating pattern. your friend could try getting a partner of friend to give expressed milk when the baby crys for a feed and see if it is just really the baby wanting comfort instead of food. but depending on milk supply, it is normal for an exclusivley breastfeed baby to want 8 - 12 feeds a day, more in a growth spurt.
If your friend needs any advice on feeding they can always talk to thier health vistor, nct group or see if there is a breast feeding councellor locally or even find the breastfeeding network website. all will be able to give excellent advice.
I hope your friend can see the light at the end of the tunnel, when they are eating everything any anything, you wish they were not as then you get half eaten bits of crayon and everything!!
Take care and love to the little ones
Vicky

inkie

I remeber this well - I intended going back to work when DD1 was 6 months old, and had to extend my leave and go back when she was 12 mths, as she would not take a bottle of any description. I went down the route of what has been described as baby-led weaning, and gradually increased the 'solids' whilst decreasing the breast.This involved a couple of days 'cold turkey', when cutting iut each breastfeed, dufficult at the time, but my persistance paid off.
By the time she was 10 months we had gone to just the night feed. I would advise getting the HV involved - that is what they are there for.

All the best.

super41

I'm at a similar stage to your cousin as I've recently started my 6 mth DS on baby rice. He's showing a distinct lack of interest and much prefers breastfeeding! My friend's DD is on 3 meals a day and is only 4 weeks older! What I'm trying to say is all babes are different and your cousin's is just a bit later with liking solids. Suggest what the previous poster said about cutting down in the breast. Also she doesn't have to move to a bottle, try one of those first stage cups.

Try to boost your cousin's confidence by saying what a fab thing she has done by breastfeeding her baby for her so long. However it may be taking its toll on her now. I would definitely get the health visitor involved. Hopefully they could visit your cousin at home as she may not feel up to going to baby clinic etc. HV can advise on feeding and also talk to your cousin about how she's feeling herself.

Biddyrolo

I remember this well, DD1 was a permanent attatchment almost, I lost so much weight (must've been under 8 stone) and was tired all the time. Back then (1983) it was like Inkie suggested go cold turkey and simply refuse to give the baby the breast for one feed. Your cousin has done so well and I don't think it's a bad thing if she considers her own health and well- being now, her baby will benefit in the long run.

Juicy_Tube

Thank you all for your advice so far. I appreciate it and will pass on tips.

Cousin doesn't express. She gave a bottle of formula for one feed early on when she was on a course, but now baby won't take a bottle.

As I said, I am concerned about her health and she isn't getting out as much as she should and she lives in such a remote place too. I think she is having more bad days than good which worries me. Her mother has passed away and she doesn't see her father. Husband's parents are old and wouldn't be able to offer much support. My Mum speaks to her quite a bit and tries to offer advice, but she is a fair distance away from them to help her on a day to day basis.


In think she has already tried going cold turkey, but don't think it worked. Well, should I say that they gave in at the first hurdle, which is easy to do I suppose when you are shattered! They musy keep going with this I think though.

The tip about the breastfeeding cafe is great. That was the first group I went to! I will try and find out if there is one in her area.

Thanks again.

Madmel

When my DD2 was 18 weeks old, I went back to work. I'm a teacher and wanted to start at the beginning of the school year. DD would eat pureed veg, but refused point blank to take anything in a bottle. I was lucky because I was only working p/t and would only be apart from her for 4 hours, so was confident that the nursery would cope.

When I went to pick her up (with aching boobs!) she was drinking formula from the bottle we had supplied as if she had it every day. The very experienced lady in charge said that in her experience, babies who were not used to bottles needed to be treated in a different way:-

Instead of cradling the baby, face them away from you, preferably with something interesting going on in front of them. In DD's case it was the other children in the nursery, but apparently TV works well. Put the teat towards their mouth. 9 times out of 10 they will suck on it, then carry on absent-mindedly, as they are still distracted by the action in front of them. The other factor is that they can't smell you or your milk, so they don't think of this as being "feeding" as such.

I think that in the OP's case, a lidded cup would work just as well. I hope it works out for her - she doesn't have to cut out bf altogether and she deserves a massive pat on the back for persevering this long :T

DebtphobicDeirdre

Sorry to hear that your cousin is having a hard time. It sounds like she needs to get away from her baby's demands and just be herself for a bit. Iwonder if there is anyone who could take the baby out for a bit and give that Mum a bit of a break. That may be what she needs as well as someone to babysit occasionally to allow her time to go out and remember thatshe is still a human being and that the "normal" world is still there. Then she might be in a better frame of mind to make a decision about the feeding.

bambam_2

Husband could try the above tip of holding the baby differently (while your friend goes off for some R&R). I found with two out of my three that anyone else could give them a bottle or cup but they were over a year before they would accept anything but the real thing from me. If she could hand over for even one feed a day it would surely help.

ailuro2

Most recent findings suggest babies should only start weaning when six months old, so I'd not worry about him not 'eating'.As with everything,the mum will know what her baby needs. Encourage her to keep feeding if she is happy to,and has the time.It's very good for both of them.:D

I agree- get your cousin to express some milk into a bottle, then take herself off out for a few hours.Do not phone home,do not come within baby's scent range.

Might be a good idea to book into the hairdressers for a facial/haircut etc. since you can't really run out halfway through.

If she tries to bottlefeed on her own he will smell her and hold out for the real thing.

MAny babies are breastfed until nearly 2 years old, it's perfectly natural.

My dd went off by herself at 9 months, she seemed to think she was ready, and after she'd bit my boobies a couple of times I tended to agree with her:eek:

jacksons_mum

hi, i was in a very similar situation to your cousin, when my son was 6 months old i had to return to work full-time. he was breast-fed and refused to take a bottle, about 2 weeks before i was due to return to work i was really beginning to panic, i had tried all sort of diff bottles (closer to nature etc), then a lady at my baby massage group told me about the HABERMAN by MEDELA. it is a special bottle for babies with problems sucking (downs syndrome, cleft palate etc). it was like a miracle! my son who had never drank from a bottle or cup in his life took it on the first try. i finally had some freedom!

it costs about £20 new from some american website (just google it), but it is definately worth it in my opinion. you can also usually find it cheaper on ebay.

good luck to your cousin, keep us updated

katie