Going out for the first time in a wheelchair

dori2o

We're going on holiday at the end of may and we are looking to hire a wheelchair for me to use whilst there.

We're only going to Blackpool as it's cheap and the most we can afford, but a break is a break.

Without the wheelchair I wouldn't be able to walk around for very long at all and that's not fair on the rest of the family, so we've decided a wheelchair would be suitable to help get me around.

I've never had one before but don't have any worries with using one. I used to worry about what people thought when I started using crutches and a walking stick, but at the end of the day, if it is needed and it helps to improve your quality of life by enabling you to do things you condn't normally do then it's no business of anyone elses.

yully

I develop tourettes when I'm in mine. Whenever we reach a kerb or step and my hubbie tilts he chair back I start swearing - believe me I've tried to stop but I just start! Not massively keen on going out in it mainly because I can't look round shops properly, particularly clothes as they are too crowded and the clothes too high to look at properly. Not really bothered about people looking and most people are fine and helpful but there's always a few who are just rude and talk to whoever is pushing me rather than me.
Also found some people try to be overly helpful which although they mean well it can seem over the top, I did realise though that is exactly how I am!
I think you just have to think that at least it's allowing you to get out and just ignore the starers - I get several but think it's because I'm quite young and have 2 kids (14 and 11) with me. Don't let them get to you and remember - at least you've no heavy bags to carry! x

OnAndUp

mitchyjules wrote: »

Anyway - i hated it. I felt so helpless. It wasn't even a self propel one. At the zoo - i had to keep giving instructions (left a bit, right a bit etc) just so i could see the animals. I also felt invisible, as people proudly stood right in my view or stepped out in front of me.
I now have a smal mobility scooter. At least i'm slightly higher and can manouver myself to where I want to be!

Totally agree!

I'm a very reluctant 35yr old wheelchair / scooter user since the last 2 years (but it's either that or be stuck in!) beyond the obvious of being really self conscious but invisible at the same time! As I'm not able to self propel either I find it drives me mad that I'm totally at the mercy of whoever is pushing, you can't even turn yourself slightly to one side to look at something/someone so I end up being really bossy and also feeling guilty at the same time. It's also really hard trying to communicate with someone that you can't see who is behind you at a lot higher level IYKWIM sometimes easier to point direction with your hands - if you can.

I was at a wedding and various people I didn't know "as well" were pushing me round the venue and often people don't think and left me facing the other direction whilst standing chatting in a group. It was hard enough for me (physically & pride wise ) to go to the occasion in the chair and I didn't want to seem like a diva / awkward can you turn me here, there blah... as you have to appreciate that someone is pushing the chair for you - but it made me feel very left out, really low emotionally and spoilt my day.:(

Not that I'm a control freak or anything!! But I do find being in a scooter much less stressful as at least then you are in charge so can go exactly where YOU want to! I was always SO independent before that I find it hard relying on someone for so much. And they are pretty nippy too! I borrow one from my local shopmobility. So if you can get the image of "madge" the sunburnt twiglet off Benidorm :rotfl: out of your mind they really are quite handy.

Also watch out - be careful they don't knock your feet on any shelves etc! And if you have a rubbish lightweight folding chair like I do a cushion under your bum and possibly behind your back makes it a bit more comfortable if your sitting for a while.

I would have a chat with your friend who's pushing you and just tell them that it's all new to you and anything that your worried about. As for the people that you don't know very well I wouldn't bother what they think if you have used crutches for years surely they will realise and understand that you don't have a choice and now need the chair.

Good luck with it all and hope you enjoy it and it stays nice n sunny for you.

OnAndUp

dori2o wrote: »

I've never had one before but don't have any worries with using one. I used to worry about what people thought when I started using crutches and a walking stick, but at the end of the day, if it is needed and it helps to improve your quality of life by enabling you to do things you condn't normally do then it's no business of anyone elses.

Agree with this too, the more you use these things the less they bother you. When I first had to use a stick I was mortified but don't really think anything of it now - most of the time!

Hope you enjoy your Blackpool break.

saving_pennies

Thank you everyone for your replies.

Today has not gone to plan in some respects - basically it is looking like the care agency are having problems getting a carer to me in the morning so they can help me get up. Argh!!! I hate relying on them. So if they can't sort out a carer then I can't go - everyone is meeting at 10am. Without a carer I am stuck in bed I am waiting for my friend to call me back so I can see if she can help out.

Regarding going out in the chair for the first time, it is good to read all your experiences. Some very handy tips there.

I know that I will be around friendly people and I hope that they just treat me as they usually do. I suspect they will ask what's happened and as long as it is ok for me to give a brief reply and then move on to enjoying ourselves. My worry is that each people will ask me in turn so it might come up over and over. I don't like being the centre of attention.

I get lots of stares already, e.g. when I use a blue badge parking space or when I use my crutches I can start my shopping trip being able to walk reasonably 'normally' and then I am crippled over in pain by the end and I sometimes hear people's comments about this. Like yully, I am young (I'm early 30's but look much younger) and this probably doesn't help as some people seem to thin that young people can't be disabled! Also there are a few people who have nothing better to do then make comments and asusmptions about others

Chorlie - Thanks for tips on trying to make wheelchair isn't to use. Unfortunately how my health is at the moment I can't even manage little pushes let alone big long pushes - it makes my back, shoulders, neck and elbows enough worse then they normally are. I would love to be able to self propel as I am sure it would improve my fitness like pwales said, plus I would get toned muscles in my arms. I got some good news today - the wheelchair service is reassessing me next week with a view of giving me a more suitable chair.

I'm off to call the care agency and my friend again. I will do my best to get out tomorrow. And if I can't, then it won't be long before I will have my debut outing in my chair.

Tiddlywinks

The flip side is that it can be really scary for the companion as well when taking someone out in a wheelchair for the first time.

You don't want to hurt them, scrape things or knock anything or anyone over... nor do you want to treat them any differently than you did before... which means that sometimes you over-think things and actually can make it worse.

Discuss your battle plan with your friends and tell them about your fears - ask them not to 'park' you anywhere and when meeting people accept that they may be just as uncomfortable or embarrassed as you are because they want to make things right but get it wrong in trying - if you see what I mean.

In my time, I've run into people, over toes, into counters and scraped more door posts than I care to remember :o:o. I'm just a bad driver - and we laugh about it now.

Relax, the first time is only the first time once .

Enjoy your new freedom - and where ever you go they may have cake or chocolate so it's really worth it.

saving_pennies

Thanks OnAndUp and Tiddlywinks (great names btw). I missed your post earlier OnAndUp, I think I was writing mine whilst you were posting yours.

I didn't even consider what it would be like for my friend. Oppps!

Unfortunately the care agency have no one until 10:30 am, assuming they turn up on time that is. So by the time I had my personal care and morning routine done plus food etc (takes about an hour), then travelled to meet everyone (will take about an hour) I won't get there until 12:30 at the earliest. Will miss most of it. So tomorrow is off Apparently the person in the care agency who was arranging the early call didn't have time to arrange it nor communicated it to the person who is in charge of arranging call times = no early call for me. What a poor excuse not to go out - sorry everyone but I couldn't get a carer. Arghhhh. As I said above I hate relying on people. I'm sure I'm not the only person on the recieving end of care agencies - don't get me wrong I am very grateful of there help and the maority of the time it goes to plan, just on the time it doesn't tends to be the times I am looking forward to going out.

I meet with this bunch of friends/acquantances, several times a year so it won't be long before I get to see them again. I'm sure my friend will give me any updates.

In the meantime I think I might ask my friend to come clothes shopping with me so we can both get used to the chair. I will remember all the pointers about other people in the shop being 'tunnel visioned':

watch out for the clowns that are totaly unaware of anything around them (tunnel vision). They have a habit of just turning round and trying to sit in your lap

If it person who ended up sitting in my lap was fit, single, sensitive, with good sense of humour etc etc, then I wouldn't mind so much,

saving_pennies

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Enjoy your new freedom - and where ever you go they may have cake or chocolate so it's really worth it.

Perhaps I need to start thinking of all the things I'll be able to do now I have the chair. Ok, there are teething problems and concerns but in the long run it will bet staying in bed most the time!!

Chorlie

saving_pennies wrote: »

I got some good news today - the wheelchair service is reassessing me next week with a view of giving me a more suitable chair.

I'm off to call the care agency and my friend again. I will do my best to get out tomorrow. And if I can't, then it won't be long before I will have my debut outing in my chair.

Glad to hear that you've managed to get reassessed for you chair and it sound like you need to look at your care agency, what they provide, when and who's paying for there service.

If they aren't providing the care you need when you need it there is something wrong. Them not turning up when you need them is stopping you from living your life and the whole point of a care agency is for them to help you to be able to live your life. If you advised them that you needed them at a certain time and they agreed to this, then that is what they are supposed to do. Their staffing problems aren't yours, it's the whole point of using an agency over employing your own carer (be that with Direct Credits or not).

OnAndUp

saving_pennies wrote: »

If it person who ended up sitting in my lap was fit, single, sensitive, with good sense of humour etc etc, then I wouldn't mind so much,

I wouldn't mind that neither!! As long as he didn't hurt my legs when he landed on them obviously!! :eek: :rotfl: