Moral dilemna

iwanttoberich

I need £1000 urgently to pay a bill that's due next week (I've been given extra time). I can't get any loans because my credit rating is not very good, thanks to the government and the aftermath of the tax credit mess a few years ago. My credit union refuses to top up my current loan because they have now checked my bank statements (they've never asked to see them before) and think that the debts I am paying are a payplan or one of those arranged payment plans with those formal debt management companies where you pay one and then they pay everyone out of it.

Even though I have explained to them that I have made my own arrangements with each individually, they still continue to talk to me as though I am some kind of criminal trying to con them. Also, I have been a member of the credit union for 5 years and have not once missed a payment or been late. Honestly, it feels that as soon as they realised that payments on my bank statements are to anything that's not a supermarket or gas station etc, I have been blacklisted. According to their online calculator, they could lend me the money and my instalments would still be the same or slightly less than what I am currently paying.

Sorry for the long post, but my question is would it be morally wrong to ask my daughter to borrow the amount (she is also a member and has not yet borrowed from them) and I make the payments?

MarlinD

I think, It would not be better to ask to daughter for borrowing loan for you. As you mentioned that She has not yet borrowed from them. You can arrange this amount by borrowing with some intimate relatives or friends but taking help of daughter for issuing load on her name is not good idea.

Emmzi

self organised DMP still equals DMP so the credit union are right ot be cautious and yes, you shoukd not be borrowing any more money even from your daughter. If you can't pay it back you've just stuffed her loan chances for 6 years. Not a good feeling.

Is the bill for people who will actually kneecap you? What happens if you can't pay it?

What can you sell or pawn, what else can you put off paying?

It sounds like a talk to one of the debt charities would in fact be a good idea.

ILW

What is this bill that is so important?

chalkie99

ILW wrote: »

What is this bill that is so important?

Probably the holiday https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/42036966#Comment_42036966

ILW

chalkie99 wrote: »

Probably the holiday https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/42036966#Comment_42036966

Oh dear...

iwanttoberich

chalkie99 wrote: »

Probably the holiday https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/42036966#Comment_42036966

It is nothing to do with the holiday. That was a mother's day treat from my daughter. All I had to pay was travel insurance - so was just wondering at the time which was the best way to go in light of the recent Australia and Japan incidents.

It is not nice when someone asks for advice (and not just me alone) and the only thing some people can do is trawl back to see what other posts you have made so they can make some snide remark with a silly icon attached.

I am sorry now that I have asked anything at all!

SurreyBear

Many people, myself included, ask questions on this site already knowing the answer but wishing for a glimmer of hope otherwise. I suspect many of us on the site have struggled with money and understand how frustrating it is not to be able to pay off debts etc. But most of us have probably learnt the hard way - that borrowing to get out of debt doesn't work. Use the debt-free wannabe board for (non-judgemental) advice. You would be asking a lot of your daughter: money and families don't generally mix too well.

Mhambi

Why are you going on the offensive? Surely it is only normal that people who would like to help ask what the payment is for and how it would affect you if you would have to say that you can not pay or need to pay in instalments. You did not give even a hint of why you need to pay so in my opinion people than start speculating. Someone seeing your first post where you did not give the circumstances how and why you need the travel insurance may ring at someone that this has something to do with this £1k now. It's only normal and if it is wrong then just state the fact. At the end WE WANT TO HELP!
So back to your question: I do have to to ask for more information as any advise that can be given has to be given on the nature of why you have to pay this £1k in seven days.
I like to help but would need more information.
NEVER EVER borrow of your children or ask them to borrow for you. You never know when the next 'disaster' happens and you are unable to pay. You then destroyed their Credit Record or they would again have to find the money for you. It only will end up in tears and anger.
In 99% of all circumstances there is a way out and it is only normal that you just see the £1k and seven days. Take a deep breath, relax and look at it from a distance (and that is when we come in to help as we are not directly involved and not emotionally attached. We can then see the bigger picture and tailor the help to that what you need).
Reading your post and seeing the time when it was posted it seems to me that you are seriously panicking. Don't hit me but may I ask if you just got a visit from someone who wants money? You know who I mean. If so there is no need to panic but there are several things that I (we) would need to know first to be able to help with your particular problem.
There is nothing to be embarrassed about. I had those visits and I am sure others here had. It's a way of life when you got debts and in difficulties.
But no matter how bad it all seems now, you got legal rights and you have to know them.
So let us know the factual circumstances of your problem and I am sure someone (including me) will be able to help in one way or the other.
I will keep an eye out on this post for your reply to be able to help you as quick as possible.

Jules28

Hello,

I am not the best person to take advice from (there will be more along soon who know far more than I ever will), however, I will say that I agree with the advice given not to ask your child to borrow. I am a child who borrowed for her parents (in significant amounts as you can see from my signature) and one thing after another happened and I am left paying off substantial amounts of interest and borrowing. My credit rating is appalling obviously, and I had to sell my house. There have been a lot of tears and snotters over it obviously, but my family and I are ok now, but I must admit I harbour a fair bit of resentment and regrets over it and I wish I knew then what I know now and had helped them get proper advice, rather than doing what I did - which was help them because they were my parents and I couldn't bear to see them in trouble.

I would so much rather you could get help from someone on here and sort this another way without entering the minefield we have been through in the past few years.

Just my thoughts on it as an outsider who has been on the other side of this situation :-)

Jules

jackyann

I wouldn't ask your daughter for all the sensible reasons already given.
What I wonder is whether you can ask the Credit Union committee to re-consider? It's not clear whether you were turned down by the person administering according to the rules, or if you have already appealed.
Otherwise, I agree with the poster who said go to one of the advisory charities and ask them.
If you have a properly paid-up mortgage you can sometimes ask for a "mortgage holiday" - it does take time to arrange and they ask for a good reason, but I have found it useful for family emergencies such as illness.