Speaking to ym partner about my debts

Plans_all_plans

peachyprice wrote: »

But OP hasn't said anywhere they are bad debts.

Well maybe I'm old fashioned, but to me ANYTHING that isn't a mortgage/student loan is a bad debt.

I like to have the money in my hand and pay for everything in full. I wouldn't be with someone who had a different outlook and the only way they'd convince me they'd changed is if they paid everything off in full. It wouldn't be a stalling tactic I'd be using, I'd just be uncomfortable living any other way.

I'm well aware that people can 'spend responsibly' on cards (my FIL being one of them) but it's just not for me. 27k on cards/loans is not responsible use of lending in anyone's book, surely?

andymc29

Well maybe I'm old fashioned, but to me ANYTHING that isn't a mortgage/student loan is a bad debt.

So would you call a sofa on credit a bad debt? Or a car loan?

They're not bad debts actually, I've never missed any payments and am overpaying them on 9/10 months. I have a good credit rating and got accepted for a new credit card just 6 months ago, which has just upped my credit limit to a figure I'll never need to use.

My spending habits have changed so much since meeting her, I'm a much better adjusted person now and have much more respect for my money and now only buy things I have cash for, unless it's very important like a car repair or a bill when I'm down on cash near the end of the month (I use all spare money to overpay my loans).

Part of me wishes she would let me live with her now, she has a very stressful job and wants to drop her hours to part time, me living with her would allow her to do this as I'd be covering half the bills.

Plans_all_plans

andymc29 wrote: »

So would you call a sofa on credit a bad debt? Or a car loan?

They're not bad debts actually, I've never missed any payments and am overpaying them on 9/10 months

Yes, I would call a sofa on credit bad debt, same with hire purchase on a car. It's all debt to me and it has no positive connotations at all.

I remember when I was about 15 (10 years ago) our TV broke at home and we had to wait 2 months until my parents had saved enough to buy another one. Same with the car, though it took much longer for them to save up for that! That's my background, so debt to me is something negative that I don't want to associate with.

I'm not criticising you, just giving another perspective as to why your girlfriend might be reluctant to move in with someone in debt, like I would be.

KiKi

I think there's a difference, though, between having £27K on loans and cards which are all being paid off and £27K on loans and cards where bailiffs are knocking at the door. Your gf may have the same perspective as Plans, which is that you are being hounded for cash, when that's not the case at all.

I agree, don't tell her the amount unless she's asking, but say you've paid off over 70% and will be clear by September. This will give her a timescale and something to work with - and hopefully make her feel less stressed, as she'll also be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel around moving in with you. She may also have concerns around her credit file being associated with yours by living together, so that could add to it.

HTH, and well done on paying so much back so quickly, that's fantastic.
KiKi

alleycat`

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Yes, I would call a sofa on credit bad debt, same with hire purchase on a car. It's all debt to me and it has no positive connotations at all.

I remember when I was about 15 (10 years ago) our TV broke at home and we had to wait 2 months until my parents had saved enough to buy another one. Same with the car, though it took much longer for them to save up for that! That's my background, so debt to me is something negative that I don't want to associate with.

I'm not criticising you, just giving another perspective as to why your girlfriend might be reluctant to move in with someone in debt, like I would be.

It is all about the situation.
I personally, tend to agree with you that debt is a bad thing.

However,a sofa or car on 0% Interest Free credit isn't bad credit.
It is excellent money management.

You put the money you would have used to buy it outright in savings and pay it off by the date it doesn't become 0%.
You have then managed to keep the interest on that money available to you.

Paying it all up front is financially a loss in situations like that.

Debt is only negative when you don't set it up in a way that benefits you.

Also, to take your example of a TV purchase, in many cases buying something with a credit card affords you greater consumer protection than paying for it in cold hard cash.

Having the cash to pay off the CC when the bill comes due, i would agree, is a good thing.

As to the OP.

I wouldn't tell her if she doesn't want to know.
If you are well on top of the situation and have never defaulted then good for you in sorting it out.

I would be a little wary that the two of you obviously have very different attitudes to risk and money management.

It might become a source of friction in stressful times.
I don't think P_All_P and i would get on in that regard

Plans_all_plans

I agree with you in principle alleycat about the 0% interest etc, however, I just know that I don't have the resolve to manage our money in such a way. It seems too complicated to me! That's why I like to have the money in my hand before buying things. My FIL does exactly what you describe: he buys everything on credit cards, gets airmiles, bonuses and all sorts and just pays the card off in full each month, but it's not for me!

tango

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I agree with you in principle alleycat about the 0% interest etc, however, I just know that I don't have the resolve to manage our money in such a way. It seems too complicated to me! That's why I like to have the money in my hand before buying things. My FIL does exactly what you describe: he buys everything on credit cards, gets airmiles, bonuses and all sorts and just pays the card off in full each month, but it's not for me!

Agree, I couldn't be that disciplined, and there is no need to buy a sofa with a loan,you only sit on it Get a loan for a sofa like advertised 1 year no payments 5 year interest free,looks like a old sofa by then !. Been there, done it...