Wedding planning - how would you reduce the costs?

so3003

I proposed to my girlfriend - or should I say my fiance! - recently and we are in the very very earliest stages of planning our wedding. We think it'll probably be in spring / summer 2012. We're in our late 20s / early 30s.

We both have large families and groups of friends, and while we don't want "a huge wedding" it seems like we won't have much choice in the matter. Being ultra conservative there are still at least 70 people who absolutely must be at the wedding, and if we extend that to include all the aunts, cousins, partners etc the list runs to well over 200 people. Unless we elope it seems like we're going to have to put on a reasonably large wedding event! We can probably afford a large event but in honesty would prefer to spend vast amounts of money on a good honeymoon than buying dinner for people we have not met since the last family event!

I wondered what advice other people have for approaching wedding planning? What would you do in our position in terms of reducing costs and maximising value for the cash spent on a wedding and all that goes with it? Anything you would do differently if you were doing it all again?

Thanks in advance for any suggestions

ailuro2

First up, congratulations:beer:
Secondly, as the folks in the Holy Grail said... "Run away! Run away!":rotfl:
that;s what we did... went and did the holiday of a lifetime in Las Vegas and San Francisco and it still only cost 1/4 of what the average wedding would here... including al our clothes, spending money, excursions etc.

Third though, and a very important point - if your fiancee doesn't want to get married elsewhere then don't mention it again - wedding days are very important to some women, some have been planning their dress since they were about 5 years old.

4th - keep the reception simple, go for a bring your own bottle affair in the village hall, provide a really good buffet and a good band everyone can dance the night away to, tell everyone not to dress over the top and not to bring any presents - that's how I'd do a wedding if I had got married in the UK - it costs a fortune to attend a wedding these days!

lastly there are tonnes of posts offeing advice in the special occasions section of this site - where to by card to make your own invitations, tiaras off of ebay, all that kind of thing.

rachbc

Think creatively and don't go for the traditional sit down meal then disco reception. We got married at 4 and just had a buffet and evening do

ellies_angel

keep the actual wedding and meal to the bare minimum, just those special few you want to (not have to) have there and then for the evening invite the rest

talulahbeige_2

Decide on the people that you actually want there and stick to your guns.
I recently got married and we chose to have minimal family there, just the ones we see and are close to. We didnt get any flack or stick for this.
Be prepared tho as you may get some. Most people tend to forget that a wedding is about a couple committing to each other for the rest of their lives, they see it as an excuse for a "free" knees up.

All in all, remember that it is yours and your fiances day, do what you want, how you want it.

Imp

1) Get married within 5 months of proposing. You then have less time to spend your money.

2) Get married in winter - everything is cheaper

3) Don't set your heart on little decorations etc. You end up needing a huge number and even if individually they are cheap, collectively they cost a lot

4) You don't need a DJ. Hire the system, get everyone going to send one mp3 of their preferred music, and put them on an mp3 player. Plug it in, and away you go.

5) No free bar - just provide table wine. There are people who take liberties when there is a free bar, forgetting it isn't really free.

6) People are more important than things. Don't get hung up on things for the big day, just make sure the people you want there are there.

7) Don't be afraid to ask favours. Does someone you know have a big car that could be the wedding car? Could elderly relatives help by making favours etc.

8) You can make things like invitiations far cheaper than buying them. Making them allows for last minute changes to the guest list as well.

CL

There are certain costs that remain the same whether you have 10 people or 300 (dress, suits, cars, honeymoon). If I could share my experience? I was married in 2005 and had 170 guests. I did not think about costs /presents too much, just got a loan and did what I wanted (within reason). Most guests gave cash as a gift. The monday after the wedding (before leaving on honeymoon) I went to lodge cash/cheques so they wouldn't be in the house for the 2 weeks we were away and the loan was totally cleared. Everyone gave so generously (we did not plan it this way or expect it) and no one gave less than it cost to have them there (i.e. for their meal, drinks, share of cake).

My advice would be to invite everyone you want to be there. It won't cost you anything extra (in my experience).

dangalf

Congratulations!

I got married a year and half ago - like you we both have quite large families and our guest list ended up at 150 people. We got everything done, in London, for £11k. I know this does not qualify as a cheap wedding but I think we did alright when compared to a lot of others.

Areas where we saved money were by calling in favours from friends. As such, music was all done by friends (in church and reception).

We paid cash where we could with the venue we hired so as to get discounts.

We supplied table wine (bought in bulk from Majestic using a friend's staff discount) but no free bar.

We drank prosecco rather than champagne for toasts.

Rather than having morning suits etc. just bought matching ties for all ushers and wore suits already owned (although I did buy a new suit and shoes for myself in the end)

For flowers I got up and went to Covent Garden flower market at 5a.m. and bought at wholesale price. Friends then did the arranging.

A friend did the photography (he is a professional) and so we got mates' rates.

Anyway, good luck. And remember - it's your day and have fun.

dangalf

Also, we had reception in walking distance of church so there was no need to lay on transport etc.

Amanda65

Congratulations!

My top tip wold be to find a smaller venue that you like that limits number of guests and you can then use that as your excuse to cut down in numbers

Also, at our wedding (many, many years ago) we had a sit down buffet where the top table were served their meal but the guests went up (table by table and all expertly organised by our wonderful toastmaster and the hotel staff) which was cheaper than a full on sit down meal and also meant people could choose what they liked so no problems with dietary requirements as there was something for everyone.

heretolearn_2

You don't have to invite everyone - especially if you are already thinking that you don't want to pay out for a dinner for distant relatives you never see.

You just draw a line, apply it to everyone in both families, and keep to it. I've been to lovely weddings where it was immediate family only (parents and siblings only) with a few friends. Or you could have parents, siblings and grandparents. Or parents, siblings, grandparents and nieces/nephews only. Going all the way to aunts and uncles and cousins etc is a large wedding. Don't feel obliged to do this, a lot of people dont.