**October 2012 Brides and Grooms**

stir_crazy

OH and I had a fight last night about one of our guests, its one of his friends who I don't particularly like, I dont find him a nice guy but when OH wanted to have his friend there through the day, I agreed on the basis that we would have enough room (trying to keep numbers to around 80).

Now OH's friend has been kind of seeing a woman for a couple of weeks (he wants to get engaged, she turns up at midnight for a bit of how's your father) and he told her that they would be both invited to our wedding. We had previously decided we wouldn't be inviting plus ones for for any guests with OH's we havent met, but now H2B wants to invite this woman to our ceremony.

I kicked off about it saying that we had other friends who I would rather be there but OH thinks its because I dont like his friend and its really not. I also dont like the thought that other guest's OH can't come but this woman can. So OH said that he would tell his friend that he could only come in the evening to try and make me feel bad. I really hate that this guy has thought that we would just make room for a random stranger and that my OH was just going to go along with it.

Sorry for long post but needed a rant!!!

lazer

stir_crazy wrote: »

OH and I had a fight last night about one of our guests, its one of his friends who I don't particularly like, I dont find him a nice guy but when OH wanted to have his friend there through the day, I agreed on the basis that we would have enough room (trying to keep numbers to around 80).

Now OH's friend has been kind of seeing a woman for a couple of weeks (he wants to get engaged, she turns up at midnight for a bit of how's your father) and he told her that they would be both invited to our wedding. We had previously decided we wouldn't be inviting plus ones for for any guests with OH's we havent met, but now H2B wants to invite this woman to our ceremony.

I kicked off about it saying that we had other friends who I would rather be there but OH thinks its because I dont like his friend and its really not. I also dont like the thought that other guest's OH can't come but this woman can. So OH said that he would tell his friend that he could only come in the evening to try and make me feel bad. I really hate that this guy has thought that we would just make room for a random stranger and that my OH was just going to go along with it.

Sorry for long post but needed a rant!!!

Just put your foot down, what if he came all day and she joined him for the evening bit?

When you have limited numbers i wouldn't choose to have plus 1's that I had never met - and if they are only seeing each other for a few weeks, who knows if it will last to October!

Does the friend know other people at the wedding?

stir_crazy

lazer wrote: »

Just put your foot down, what if he came all day and she joined him for the evening bit?

When you have limited numbers i wouldn't choose to have plus 1's that I had never met - and if they are only seeing each other for a few weeks, who knows if it will last to October!

Does the friend know other people at the wedding?

It was my suggestion that she just came in the evening, but OH wasn't happy with that. He just wants to make an exception for this guy and now I'm in the mood that if he wants to tell his friend just to come in the evening, thats fine by me even if he makes me out to be the bad guy!

There are a few people that he has met before, although they are different groups of friends, he has been out for drinks with them so we were going to sit him with them. We also have a couple of firends who are in the same line of work as he is so they would have something in common to talk about.

lazer

stir_crazy wrote: »

It was my suggestion that she just came in the evening, but OH wasn't happy with that. He just wants to make an exception for this guy and now I'm in the mood that if he wants to tell his friend just to come in the evening, thats fine by me even if he makes me out to be the bad guy!

There are a few people that he has met before, although they are different groups of friends, he has been out for drinks with them so we were going to sit him with them. We also have a couple of firends who are in the same line of work as he is so they would have something in common to talk about.

Do the other people you intend to sit him with all know each other very well, have girlfirends with them etc?It all depends on his personality i suppose, I wouldn't want to go to a wedding where i didn't really know anyone (I'm been out with my friend and a group of her firends before, but wouldn't really say i know them) - but i'm a worrier and shy, but would probably end up having a great day anyway.Are any of your friends in the same position?My fiance is saying i don't get to see the guest list and then i can't complain - we decided we both get to invite 75 people each - how we spilt it is up to us!

stir_crazy

Some know each other and some don't, but they are all very sociable. He's also going on the stag weekend along with the blokes at that table, which is why I thought it would be a good one for him to sit at. I've only ever been in the same room with this guy with my OH (and only then a couple of times), but he's always chatted and joined in with the conversation. I know what you mean about being uncomfortable and shy, I can be the same sometimes, I just dont get that feeling from him. OH was quite happy for him to be there without a plus one before he met this woman, but I'll speak to him about it again now that we've both calmed down.

Magpie27

We are having a issue with our list as well, I have sent out the day invites and are now getting the RSVPs back. However one of my friends has contacted me to say they would love to come but they have already confirmed that they are going to a evening reception on the same day in London, so if its OK with us can they come but would have to leave around 7pm to go the other evening do. she has said she doesn't mind if I would prefer to give their places to somebody else who can come all day. So I dont know what to do OH wants me to tell them don't come and give the places to someone else (actually it will only be 1 place as we were over by 1 anyway) he doesn't want them to be rushing off and thinks they will be clock watching if we run late and personally I can see his point I would feel like we would just be giving them a free dinner before they go somewhere else to party! But even though she says she doesn't mind if I give their places to some else does she really mean that! How do I say ok dont bother coming then without upsetting her, I feel bad I have inivited them then say sorry don't come. But part of me is a bit miffed that she would prefer to go to a evening recpetion rather than stay at mine feels a bit like she is getting the best of both worlds. However having said all of that I would like her to come and I know the person that we are thinking of changing to a day from a evening will still come even if its just a evening invite arrrgh what to do

johannalf88

Oh I feel for you Magpie! That is a dilemma!

If that was me I think I would say just come to the day, but that's because it's an afternoon tea at under £13 a head, and there is very little alcohol until the evening! We have an open bar so by not going in the evening they are probably saving us more than by not coming in the day! :rotfl: but that's obviously only applicable to me.

lazer

I think i would say that you would love her to be there all day but that you understand she has other committements etc, and as she would have to be leaving at 8, you think dinner might not be over by this time, so itt would be best if she didn't come to the dinner, but that you would love her at the ceremony and after ceremony drinks reception (if having one) etc.

johannalf88

Or what Lazer said sounds good!

stir_crazy

I would agree with lazer, and let you'r friend know that the timings might not be predictable, etc, but she's welcome to come all the same.