Only In Northern Ireland Thread

Old_Git

gawa75 wrote: »

And it's still crap. 4*? Yeah right. There are much better hotels in the city.

yea but they havent been bombed :rotfl:

smokiewater

dmxdave wrote: »

It's because of the water level - hence the locks in Enniskillen

Sorry Dave and the rest of you, you are all wrong!

It is all to do with the fairy cup, and the two young and thirsty lovers, so eager in their love, that having taken a drink, they forgot to put the lid back on the cup, causing it to overflow, and the lower lough was thus formed!

Only in Northern Ireland do we have such wonderful local folklore tales!

Happy Mothers Day everyone!

arkonite_babe

SnowyOwl wrote: »

I was away for many years...did that really happen??? If yes, then I am totally embarrassed....

Oh yes it really happened. A short while after that there was an election so all the councilors were out canvassing. I remember one particularly, he's well known locally for being in the "never on a Sunday" camp and what my Mum gave him what for when he called at our house. Silly beggar got mixed up later and landed back again. You never seen anyone move as fast as he did when he realised his mistake LOL :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Rach39

and only in Northern Ireland would the same crowd picket a theatre showing Jesus Christ Superstar!!

steveymp

Rach39 wrote: »

and only in Northern Ireland would the same crowd picket a theatre showing Jesus Christ Superstar!!

warmhands.coldheart

Pam17 wrote: »

Only in Northern Ireland do some people have short memories when it suits them. Water is/was paid for in the Rates :cool:

Oh yeah! That’s why we have such a marvellous, modern, up to date water and sewage system!!
In GB, water bills are £200 or so ON TOP of Rates/Council Tax (Which incidentally is significantly more than the average 800 odd pound rates bill in Northern Ireland)
Guess that’s why half of GB wasn’t frozen solid over Christmas! You get what you pay for!!

Rach39

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

steveymp wrote: »

gavin_gil

Heres some tourist information for Norn Iron!

Good morning, tourists.

Thank you for visiting our wonderful country.
Political information has not been included in your brochures, so here to help you understand us better is a special guided tour of Irish politics.

Ireland is an island to the west of Britain, but Northern Ireland is just off the mainland - not the Irish mainland, the British mainland. (Look, if you wanted a region where politics are easier to understand, you should have gone to the Balkans. Now pay attention.)

The capital of Ireland is Dublin. It has a population of a million people, all of whom will be shopping in Newry this afternoon. They travel to Newry because it is in the North, which is not part of Ireland.

Under the Irish constitution, the North used to be but a successful 30-year campaign of violence for Irish unity ensured that it is now definitely in the UK. Had the campaign lasted longer the North might now be in France.

Belfast is the capital of Northern Ireland. It has a population of half a million, half of whom have houses in Donegal. Donegal is in the north but not in the North. It is in the
South. No, not the south, the South. (Those who cannot follow this might like to go off to the Giant's Causeway instead. You cannot miss it - it is near a car park.)

There are two parliaments in Ireland. The Dublin parliament is called the D!il, an Irish word meaning a place where banks receive taxpayers' money.

The one in Belfast is called Stormont, an Anglo-Saxon word meaning placebo, or deliberately ineffective drug.

Their respective jurisdictions are defined by the border, an imaginary line on the map to show fuel launderers where to dump chemical waste. (Note for Americans tracing their ancestors - fuel launderers are descendants of one branch of the ancient Irish tribe known as Na N!teoir! [launderers]. They are found today mainly near the border. The other branch of the family, money launderers, are found all over Ireland. It was Na N!teoir! Ola who composed the ancient Irish air, "I love the smell of freshly laundered diesel in the morning.")

Protestants are in favour of the border, which generates millions of pounds in smuggling for Catholics, who are opposed to it.. (Note for Germans learning English - a cross-border body is an organisation, not a Sinn F!in minister who travels frequently between Belfast and Dublin. It should not be confused with a cross border-body
which is a grumpy person in Strabane.)

Travel between the two states is complicated because Ireland is the only country in the world with two M1 motorways. The one in the North goes west to avoid the south and the one in the South goes north to avoid the price of drink.

We have two types of democracy in Ireland. Dublin democracy works by holding a referendum and then allowing the government to judge the result.

If the government thinks the result is wrong, the referendum is held again. Twice in recent years the government decided the people's choice was wrong and ordered a new referendum. (Note to visitors from North Korea - we told you that you would feel at home in Ireland.)

Belfast democracy works differently. It has a parliament with no opposition, so the government is always right. This system generates envy in many world capitals, especially Dublin.

Ireland has three economies - northern, southern and black. Only the black economy is in the black. The other two are in the red.

All IRAs claim to be the real IRA but only one of them is the Real IRA. The North's biggest industry is the production of IRAs. We now have the Provisional, Continuity and Real IRAs. The Real IRA is by far the most popular among young graffiti writers
because it is the easiest to spell. (Literacy levels are improving. Department of Education inspectors report that every Catholic child at Key Stage 2 can now spell IRA.)

So now the rest of you want to go to the Giant's Causeway as well? Fine, but before you go, did you know that the causeway was an attempt in the Tertiary geological period to build an interpretative centre but the developer ran out of political connections?

Oh dear, they appear to have gone - which shows that politicians may advocate tourism but the systems and society they have produced do little to encourage it.

System

warmhands.coldheart wrote: »

Oh yeah! That’s why we have such a marvellous, modern, up to date water and sewage system!!
In GB, water bills are £200 or so ON TOP of Rates/Council Tax (Which incidentally is significantly more than the average 800 odd pound rates bill in Northern Ireland)
Guess that’s why half of GB wasn’t frozen solid over Christmas! You get what you pay for!!

Our rates bill is just in and for next year they are asking £1362 :eek: not £800 and very clearly on page 5 of the little booklet they sent with the bill it states "Rates pay for the public services delivered by the NI Executive and by your council" and listed below it says the NI Executive uses the money to pay for such services as education, health, roads and water and sewerage.
I think £1362 is more than enough of a contribution for a household which has 3 adults who work fulltime and aren't there 24 hours per day. I think with that size of a contribution we have the right to expect we have paid in full for all our services.

drew2k9

yeah that is quite dear, i'd go home and fill the bath and empty it again daily just "to get your moneys worth" lol. i think houses nee dto be metered for water, for example, our neighbour (who thankfully is moving very very soon) loves to power hose everything daily! we can never get a shower due to his stupid over use of water affecting our water pressure!