Partner leaves, joint mortgage, not paying, what do you do?

RedSquirrel

My partner walked out in January 2010. We were not married, but had been together for over 10 years.

I have three children, the youngest being his.

He has paid no maintenance since leaving, but hopefully, finally, this should change next month via the CSA. It has taken that long due to him getting fired, then when he did get another job not giving the information requested to the CSA.

We have a joint mortgage. I am tied in for another year. Nor can I afford to get the same size of mortgage on my sole income.

I am working fulltime. Have three children. I am not in debt.. yet!! But the time will come.

He is working. He is now living with the woman he was having an affair with (last of several). She walked out of her job after he got fired, they worked together.

They are getting most of their rent paid. She isn't working. He works on what is my guess a low income, going by the amount I am going to recieve via the CSA.

I am struggling to pay a huge mortgage, plus all the bills, keep the children financially and emotionally.

I guess what I am saying, is, can I do anything else other than the CSA. I just feel it is so unfair that someone can walk away from their responsibilities emotionally and financially and that they can get away with it.

My guess is that soon he will quit his job to not have to pay maintenance.

I can't walk away from the mortgage as I have to keep a roof over my childrens head and nor do I want a bad credit rating, as I have never been in debt in my life and am now 46.

Is there 'anything' I can do, before the ever mounting pressure means I go under?

Thanks in advance.

themull1

Are you claiming childrens tax credits? single person council tax? another thing, if you claim a transfer of equity to get his name taken off the mortgage, you can extend the mortgage term if its more affordable to you, even if youre tied in to a fixed rate. Its done on affordability as well as salary multiples. Nationwide charge 150 to change the mortgage, and a solicitor will be about £450, you may have to take out indemnity insurance against insolvency for 150 ish. I've just been left on my own as well!

RedSquirrel

Thank you. I have an FA coming next week, will ask him about this. He did sign a separation agreement, done through the solicitors stating he wanted nothing from the property.

Quite right too, as I put up the damn deposit!..

msb5262

Hi OP,

Sorry things are so difficult for you at the moment.

Just a couple of thoughts which might be useful.

Re the mortgage - if you have a repayment mortgage you could go to paying interest only in the short term.

Another possibility might be to get a lodger, so you're more able to pay the mortgage yourself.

Alternatively, can you extend the term of the mortgage? When my ex moved out, there was only 10 years left on the mortgage but I changed it to 20 years when I took the mortgage on in my own name. That made the repayments much more manageable.

Best wishes

MsB

gratefulforhelp_2

When this happened to me, I took a repayment holiday (may be an option?) so when the finances were sorted out, there was less equity for him to get his mitts on. Also maybe go interest only for a bit if they will let you?

Gigglepig

In addition to checking on benefits and tax credits, perhaps if you post a list of your expenses on one of the other boards people can help suggest how to bring them down?

If you are able to sell some items that may help get the costs together to pay the mortgage for another year, if not, look at what the penalty is for early repayment and put the house on the market, and when it is sold find a cheaper house with a mortgage which you can manage on one income.

Fang_3

Have you put the house on the market? How much equity is in the house? You'd be wise to go over to the Debt Free Wannabe Board and post your SOA there - I'm sure they'll be able to help you lower your costs and manage for the next year until you can sell up. Is the father to your other children paying maintenance? Could he help you in the short-term? Any other family?

neas

Live within your means which i think is unfortunately going to be going down the council house route. What about the maintenance payments for the other wee sprogs you have? I.e from the other father (s). Presumably they should also be paying 20% or so of their income to their maintenance? In addditon to all the lovely benefits you should get as a single mother of 3. Im sure its doable. Go CSA to check what your entitled to.

RedSquirrel

The house is on the market, has been for over a year, but unfortunately the housing market isn't doing me any favours and I cannot afford to sell it at a loss.

I have taken in a lodger.

I do get tax credits, althought not much.

My ex. husband does pay maintenance.

My problem is mainly that without his income I am down around even with everything else around £1500 a month. The CSA has said he has to pay me £120 a month.

I do live within my means, I can't even get rid of the car, as I am an essential car user.

Am doing as much on call work as I can, given I have three children to consider (social work).

I would love to sell this house, it is a five bedroom monster that eats electricity and gas, and has some very bad memories, only brought the damn thing three years ago.

I doubt I would get help with rent, and private rent here would cost more than mortgage repayments, nor do I expect I would get a council accommodation. In the next few months I will be trying to put my eldest through Uni.. ugh!..

I have changed my elec/gas tariff. I use the car only when I have to. Clothes are second hand. Food is done on a budget. No holidays. Don't go out, can't afford to. My children are realistic and have made the cuts along with me. But surviving on one salary is a struggle and is going to get harder.

Why can one partner walk away a pay so little either financially or emotionally and just be able to get away with it. Three children, two fathers, they pay the minimum they can get away with, see them seldom, and yet I still have to defend them and not slag them off to their children (comes with the job)...

In my next life I am going to be a cat! :rotfl:

One saving grace is that I have an endowment, which I am going to surrender.. not ideal, but it will keep me going for a while longer.

Thanks everyone. Onwards and upwards (or at least sideways!)

RedSquirrel

Also, should add, that after having been given notice that my job was at risk, I have today found out that through all of childrens services within our local council, I am one of only three, who is definitely safe.. so life isn't that bad.. and I brough a bottle of wine to celebrate... Cheers!!! :beer: