How much is it reasonable to contribute if living with boyfriend?

orangeslimes

I am thinking of possibly moving into live with my boyfriend who owns his own flat. He has no mortgage (generous parents!). He said he wouldn't charge me rent if I did...but what is fair for me to pay? Should I offer to pay half the bills? Or pay a monthly sum? Buy food? My boyfriend currently has a lodger who pays him £250 a month for everything all inclusive, so maybe I should pay that? (it is less than market rate anyway)

Does anyone have any opinions on how best to work these things out? (Obviously there is a lot more than finances to discuss)

split_second

go halves on everything if you can afford to?

hazyjo

If he won't take money for rent or anything financial, maybe you could set up a savings fund for holidays and say that's on you each year? Or you by all the household shopping? Or maybe you'd want to buy something together later down the line and would want your own savings to put towards that? Do you currently have any savings? Will the lodger be moving out when you're moving in?

Jx

Eton_Rifle

If I were the property owner here, I'd be making sure (in the nicest possible way!) that, albeit with the best intentions, you weren't putting yourself in a good position to later claim on this asset should this relationship fail.

Just co-habiting isn't a problem but once financial contributions are being made then the waters can start to get a little muddy and the spectre of an "interest in the property" may be raised should this all end acrimoniously.

orangeslimes

hazyjo wrote: »

If he won't take money for rent or anything financial, maybe you could set up a savings fund for holidays and say that's on you each year? Or you by all the household shopping? Or maybe you'd want to buy something together later down the line and would want your own savings to put towards that? Do you currently have any savings? Will the lodger be moving out when you're moving in?

Jx

Not sure we are quite ready for planning for years later down... I do have some savings - although not that much. Yes his lodger is going to be moving out in a few months - there wouldn't be enough space for me otherwise (well maybe me- but not me and my stuff)

Eton_Rifle wrote:

If I were the property owner here, I'd be making sure (in the nicest possible way!) that, albeit with the best intentions, you weren't putting yourself in a good position to later claim on this asset should this relationship fail.

I'm not trying to claim his house...
Would a way to avoid that for him be if I paid a set amount like a lodger?

quantic

Eton_Rifle wrote: »

If I were the property owner here, I'd be making sure (in the nicest possible way!) that, albeit with the best intentions, you weren't putting yourself in a good position to later claim on this asset should this relationship fail.

Just co-habiting isn't a problem but once financial contributions are being made then the waters can start to get a little muddy and the spectre of an "interest in the property" may be raised should this all end acrimoniously.

This is not true. Even if the other person was seen to be contributing to the bills it gives them no right what so ever to the house, even if they where paying a 'rent' this would not give them rights to the house/flat either.

If someone puts petrol in your car when they use it do they end up owning some of your car?

Marvel1

If it wasn't for the lodger I would have suggested 50/50 on all bills.

Kara_P

I would recommend 50/50 on bills and food. Unless he takes a ridiculous number of showers or eats a lot then at least you know you are giving money for things you are using/eating. Plus if anything unfortunate were to happen (which I hope they don't) then you at least know you haven't paid extra money for something that isn't yours. Hope you have a ball living with you bf!

Eton_Rifle

quantic wrote: »

This is not true. Even if the other person was seen to be contributing to the bills it gives them no right what so ever to the house, even if they where paying a 'rent' this would not give them rights to the house/flat either.

If someone puts petrol in your car when they use it do they end up owning some of your car?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2010/sep/22/boyfriend-bills-claim-house

bristol_pilot

I'm not surprised he doesn't want a contribution from you. If you pay him a penny - even towards food and bills - you potentially have a claim to half the property (or more). It is not the same at all for the lodger (unless the lodger is sleeping with him). Even if not contributing anything, you can be deemed to have contributed just by living there if you are there a long time.

I think you both need to visit separate solicitors and get an agreement drawn up, declaring that you have no interest in his property.

mrmrsa

Does he not pay any rent back to his parents? If he does, then you should too but if not, and he's happy for you not to either, then I think you should just pay half of everything - bills, food, etc.