Feeling sad, would you like to join me?

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi

As the title says I am feeling pretty down at the moment. I care for my son who has health problems which is fairly stressful and I feel like things are getting a bit on top of me. I spend 90% of my time on my own or just with my son and I know its not healthy. My Mum keeps saying I need to get out more, but where, and who with???

My OH has gone out tonight to a birthday party but I made excuses not to go. I wont know many people there and I just cant face the idea of trying to make conversation. I have got absolutely zero confidence since I stopped working, I analyse myself constantly when I am talking to people and feel like an idiot all the time. Its easier not to bother.

I know I have got a lot to be thankful for really. Just feeling a bit down today. If anyone else is not having a happy and fun Saturday night you are welcome to join me.

julesmby

Dont really know what to say but didnt want to just say nothing, had a reelly bad couple of years and know its only me that can get through it, Talk to your mum visit doctor pop to shops just talk to a nother person im sure someone will be along soon and will be able to give you good advise but in the mean time sending you a big:grouphug::grouphug:

Gigglepig

Sorry to hear you feel down. I think it can be hard to make the effort to go out and meet people if you are feeling sad and lack energy.

Is there anything you can do for yourself, to try to feel better in yourself? Things that you enjoy and don't do just to make someone else happy, that may cheer you up and give you energy. For example, sports, volunteering, crafts.... What about taking a moment tonight to schedule a couple of things just for you in the next few weeks...

Secondly, is there anything in particular that makes you feel bad, that you can address or make plans for how you will address. Basically, if you have any worries big or small that you can set aside. Even if it is "just" to tidy up a room, or sort out an unpaid bill, or call a family member you have fallen out with, make a doctor's appointment regarding a medical issue...

And lastly, do something right now to relax and make you feel good, for example a nice hot bath and a movie on the sofa :-)

lisaloo1977

So sad your feeling down, hope you get back on top of the world soon. I agree you have to fight it in the start or it can spiral.

Is there no groups in your area that you can go to? Xxxxbig hugsxxxx

YORKSHIRELASS

Thanks julesmby, the hug was nice, and thanks for the kind words gigglepig and lisaloo. I have just been reading some of the other threads on here and there are lots of people far worse off than me. I have to find a way through this and support my son while still having a life myself. I am not sure how to do that at the moment but maybe in time it will get easier.

I am trying to find things to do to keep busy, I love gardening, running and getting out on my bike but its a temporary fix! Maybe I need to plan some things to do while the kids are on holiday in a couple of weeks to look forward to.

aliasojo

I soooo know how you feel, I'm in pretty much the same boat as you. It's so easy to get into a rut then before you know it, it's too hard to make the effort to change anything (as you've found out by your desire to avoid company and the party etc).

There's no easy answer unfortunately, my recent saving grace has been forcing my very overweight, very unfit self to the gym. I get out the house for a while and even though my son comes with me, at least I get to pass the odd hello with another adult and the exercise helps lift my mood.

When you get like this, nothing comes easy imo, you really have to force yourself. Next party or social gathering that comes up...try to go to it.

gingin_2

Hi Yorkshirelass

Sorry you are feeling down. I know what you mean about losing confidence since giving up work, I've been a stay at home mum for a long time and am really struggling to find where life should take me now the children are getting older. It's getting me down more and more.

I don't mean to make light of how you feel but Daniel Craig on is on at 9pm on ITV - Quantum of Solace. A brilliant film and if anything is going to cheer me up then it's Daniel Craig in action mode ( and for me, a glass of wine and some peanuts!)

aliasojo

gingin wrote: »

A brilliant film and if anything is going to cheer me up then it's Daniel Craig in action mode ( and for me, a glass of wine and some peanuts!)

Daniel Craig in naked mode would be better.

Sorry for lowering the tone OP. :D

YORKSHIRELASS

Hey a bit of lowering the tone is fine with me and Daniel Craig sounds good!!!!!!! Been cuddled up on the sofa with my son and feel a bit better. Glad I didnt go out now think OH will be enjoying himself more without me in my current frame of mind.

pupsicola

Have a massive (((hug))) for being a fabulous mum and coping with a situation that is enough to bring anyone to their knees. My youngest son had massive health problems and for the first 3 years of his life things were very touch and go.

I can really empathise with what you are feeling. I very often felt the same way. You spend so much of your time thinking about and caring for someone else that you forget how to consider yourself. Being someones main carer takes up all your time and energy and isolates you. So you loose your identity, your confidence in yourself reduces greatly. Putting a conversation together and feeling like you are interesting to others feels like a major challenge.

Please know that you deserve to have some time for you. Is there anyone who can give you a break every now and then. Are there any groups you could go along too. Maybe meet other mums in the same boat who you could build up a friendship with. Is there a hobby you use to love doing, something you could start up again.

No-one can do something 24/7 with nothing else going on in their lives, no release from the stress and anxiety and be okay. Its okay to put yourself first sometimes.

YORKSHIRELASS

Thanks Pupsicola, you are exactly right, at the moment caring for my son is my life. I was working until last year which I think is affecting me more than anything. Not working means you dont get out and meet people and a job gives you some kind of purpose in life other than being a carer.

I am hoping that my son will be able to get back to school in September and this will give me the chance to work. Looking around there arent that many part time jobs around but I did think about volunteering. I might even be able to do some volunteering now.

Thanks for the kind words everyone, it means a lot.