I need to leave

nowheretogo_2

I am a regular poster on the forums but need to name change.
I need to leave my emotionally abusive husband.
I have 3 children.
He controls the purse strings. I have no spare money.
He does have lots of money.
I've no idea where to go, what to do, what my rights are etc.
Can anyone help me?
Thank you.

RAS

Start by reading this thread and contacting Women's Aid https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1276963

Is the Child Benefit paid to you or to him?

Do you have any access to any bank accounts, or to any records indicating what is in the bank accounts?

Sublime_2

I would contact womens aid asap. They should be able to sort out somewhere for you to stay temporarily, and give you advice as to what you're entitled to. Hope it all goes ok. xx

gettingbackontrack

I didn't want to read and run - I don't really post on this board (I'm a debtfree wannabee) but wanted to say that money shouldn't and mustn't stop you doing what's right for you and your children.

Do you have a friend or a relative you can talk to? Or can you contact women's aid, as mentioned, or Citizen's Advice. The first step I would advise is opening a new, basic bank account (such as Co-Op Cashminder) and if you acn have the child benefit any anything else paid into there, or if you can sqirrel away any money you save from day-to-day living, birthday gifts, the children's money etc it will be a small first step to independence.

You've taken the first, maybe the hardest step by deciding you want to leave. There are people out there that can help you. Can you talk to a health visitor, social worker, or even one of your children's teachers? You're not alone (although you probably feel like you are right now) but there are people who will help you and in the big scheme of things, money doesn't matter. Your and your children's safety and happiness are much, much more important.

Take care and good luck. X

pupsicola

nowheretogo wrote: »

I am a regular poster on the forums but need to name change.
I need to leave my emotionally abusive husband.
I have 3 children.
He controls the purse strings. I have no spare money.
He does have lots of money.
I've no idea where to go, what to do, what my rights are etc.
Can anyone help me?
Thank you.

I have been in your position. Emotional abuse often escalates to physical abuse (as was my experience). Abuse as I am sure you are well aware is about control. You are all being controlled already emotionally and financially.

It is an extremely frightening position to be in but you and your children do have rights. Speak with womens aid if you can. Or speak with shelter and advise them of your predicament. I left it way too late and my kids and I suffered horrendously.

Dont let finances keep you in the place you are now. There are many organisations who can help and you would be entitled to child benefit, child tax credits and all kinds of other help.

I wish you luck OP. Feel free to pm me if you wish.

debtfreenewbie

I agree with the others,there are people who can help you. Keep in touch and we can help you if we can. I left a physical abussive partner when my son was a baby and never looked back. Life is too short to live like you do...
How old are your kids?

joeblack066

If you have no money whatsoever, ie he controls all the CB etc, then you can go and get hardship from DWP - you will have to fight it but it is a little known fact that you would be entitled. However the most important thing is to get out asap. I had to leave suddenly one night, after knowing that I needed to leave for over 2 years. I know how hard it is. If you go to a Womens Shelter they will sort out benefits for you and assign you all the relevant support. Please do it. Now.