advice regarding teenager and school/parent issues

eternal_sunshine

Hi all, just wanted to get a bit of guidance so I could advise my friend, as when i'm googling a lot of the info coming up is pretty old so i'm not sure its entirely accurate.

Basically my friends cousin is fifteen and in the past few months has been refusing to go to school-he won't say anything apart from not being able to face going-apparently the school says he isn't being bullied(although there were problems last year), and education welfare are going to step in, but apparently this could take a while. Also apparently doctors aren't being much help. Obviously his mum is very concerned-i'm just wondering if there are any books about this sort of thing that could help her out any? Apparently the boy has had some health issues lately(eg tonsils out and an operation) and has also just gone from being an only child to having a few step siblings who he apparently doesn't get on with, so i can understand there being some problems.

I advised that the nspcc website have online counsellors who the boy or his mum could talk to that might help, but to be honest i'm a bit clueless, so I thought I would ask here so i could pass on some advice to my friend.

Also, does anyone know what the current law is regarding what age a child can decide to not see a parent?

Sorry for the long post, many thanks in advance

gratefulforhelp_2

There is no fixed age on contact with a parent, but at 15 if he is intelligent and competent he can decide for himself. The boy's parent/guardian needs to get in touch with school and fix a meeting with either EWO or head of year/house to discuss ways forward. x

Tiggerbags

Hi

A referral to CAHMS might help? Here we also have a young peoples service called Connexions (not sure if its national) - which offers teens counselling.

My son was v similar in that he refused to go to school from 13, we changed school and then he was finally permenantly excluded at 15 (not for his non attendance, for another incident). He never gave a reason for refusing to go to school - other than he was bored (he is v bright) and the EWO were no help, other than trying to prosecute me at every turn. BUT when he was finally excluded from main stream schools, he ended up in a FE college to do his GCSEs and it was an absolute God send for us. I cant say he loved every moment of it - but he was basically pretty happy there. (He is now at another college doing A levels).

My conclusion to all of this is that school doesnt suit some kids, we kind of assume that all kids will take to it, but they dont. I wish id removed him about 2 years before he got expelled, it would have saved us both A LOT of heartache