Super Scrimpers

GreyQueen

Thanks for the compliment LiR.

The downside of this long-hours culture is the huge toll in can take of some very willing and hard-working individuals. I have friends whose wellbeing gives me grave concern because of the amount of work they do and the stress they are under. Know a high-flying "functional alcoholic" or two whose drinking is kept under the radar of their employers at the mo but who are teetering on the edge of catastrophe. These particular people are single and paying mortgages and if they slip from functional to non-functional, they will lose their homes.

I try really hard not to be preachy in the RW as this has been a short-coming of mine when I was younger. I had an thought-provoking conversation (no names no pack drill) with an older CAB volunteer, a lovely bloke in his sixties. He told me he was an alcoholic who'd been dry for 10 years, had done AA etc. He recalled another bloke in his AA group who said that what brought him to AA was that he'd kept losing things; marriage, family, home, job, friends, health and finally his self-respect. My lovely volunteer bloke told me that you can't help an alcoholic until (s)he is ready to be helped and all I can do is be there (and I have the meeting place day and time of the local AA groups tucked in my wallet to be ready if/ when my friends bring the issue up).

I'm nearer 50 than 40 and my peers are beginning to burn out in some of their careers. Long hours and long commutes take even the spring out of 20 and 30 somethings and you do slow down, no matter how well you take care of yourself. Some of us are getting into the stage of life where philosophy and downsizing are the watchwords, rather than success and ambition.

I do know what you mean about village life and expectations of those who live in the "big houses" to play Lady Bountiful. Trouble is big house = big bills and there's often not very much left after paying for the heating oil etc etc. I think you're wise to offer your practical help as well as this shows you as "just folks" and as a contributor to community life. Hopefully, you'll be recognised as a person in her own right and not just thought of as a piggy-bank who owes the community a certain levy as you have a "big" house.

Goodness, am I thankful that I'm ever so 'umble and no one has such expectations of me (but they might get a gift of lottie veg or a h.m loaf straight out of the oven, which makes even quite sophisticated people go a bit fuzzy and warm, IYKWIM)

Gotta get ready for work .........

lostinrates

GreyQueen wrote: »

Thanks for the compliment LiR.

The downside of this long-hours culture is the huge toll in can take of some very willing and hard-working individuals. I have friends whose wellbeing gives me grave concern because of the amount of work they do and the stress they are under. Know a high-flying "functional alcoholic" or two whose drinking is kept under the radar of their employers at the mo but who are teetering on the edge of catastrophe. These particular people are single and paying mortgages and if they slip from functional to non-functional, they will lose their homes.

We know lots of these too. One of the reasons we've done what we have done is to have weekends for DH in touch with ''reality''. Animal poop and soil are good for that, as well as the fresh air and exercise. We were initially gutted that ending levels reduced, but I'm grateful now in many ways I'd rather do it this way.

I'm nearer 50 than 40 and my peers are beginning to burn out in some of their careers. Long hours and long commutes take even the spring out of 20 and 30 somethings and you do slow down, no matter how well you take care of yourself. Some of us are getting into the stage of life where philosophy and downsizing are the watchwords, rather than success and ambition.

Not for everyone though, my FiL became a ''NYLon'' in his sixties and had five years of almost weekly commuting primamrily between NYC in London. It wouldn't be for me, but he thrived on it. He can't imagine retiring, now in his seventies, though he does adore his job and works more sensible hours than someone in a City environment. My father who was a real workaholic retired last year and its been quite a shock to see the decline in him since then. In fact, I wonder if I just didn't notice it so much before? But he doesn't seem as sharp now tbh, and he spends a lot of time doing nothing....struggling to do basic organisation, leaving him with little time to enjoy stuff.

Because of my health problems its quite likely I won't make a great age, and we're lucky we are both of strong emotional constitution: we've spoken very frankly and thoroughly about the different ways things are likely to play out for us in the future, and living now is as important for me as saving for an easier future is for dh. It would be ideal if once the mortgage is gone we're both still about to enjoy a lighter workload for him, but probably continuing to work a bit, in a different role maybe.

I do know what you mean about village life and expectations of those who live in the "big houses" to play Lady Bountiful. Trouble is big house = big bills and there's often not very much left after paying for the heating oil etc etc. I think you're wise to offer your practical help as well as this shows you as "just folks" and as a contributor to community life. Hopefully, you'll be recognised as a person in her own right and not just thought of as a piggy-bank who owes the community a certain levy as you have a "big" house.

Goodness, am I thankful that I'm ever so 'umble and no one has such expectations of me (but they might get a gift of lottie veg or a h.m loaf straight out of the oven, which makes even quite sophisticated people go a bit fuzzy and warm, IYKWIM)

Gotta get ready for work .........

Our house isn't even that big....what's left of it..half fell down before we bought it and we hope to put some of that back over time.:D It looks big from the outside, I think people don't realise its ''only'' two/three bed upstairs, an that the rain pours down the walls inside in some rooms, and while I don't have a peephole in the front door I can see people through the crack next to the door and behind the creeper quite clearly.:D and tell what perfume they are wearing if there is a breeze to bring the sent through the cracks! I think people are surprised a ''youngish'' couple bought it, because it looks ''big'' and impressive, and they assume we have lots of cash to throw at it: we're not prepared to borrow more to speed up the process of repair etc, because that would create more debt to service.....

anyway, these are all reasons that what appears to be ''wealth'' can be really carefully managed ''normality'', sensibly but as a close run thing. A change in dh's circumstances would see us in trouble very quickly.

Butterfly_Brain

I think that we should all live like this
http://www.incredible-edible-todmorden.co.uk/
Then maybe this country would be a much better place to live in

GroinSexyPavement

I thought the tip about putting candles in the freezer was a good one, if it works.

I was also shocked to learn what the average family (with 2 kids) spends on their food shopping every week- me and OH spend more than that and there's only us two. Though I wasn't sure if they were including toiletries, cleaning products, any pet food etc in that as we do. Must get back to the GC and try harder!

I must say, if I hadn't already found this website, that programme would not inspire me to start scrimping- I'd be terrified of turning into one of the oddballs on the show. Why aren't they showing any 'normal' thrifty types??

lavinia21

Totally agree with you groinsexypavement the OH already thinks i'm crackers and I think he thinks I will turn into one of those ladies on the programme. However much I think their great don't want to be a mad superscrimper.

lostinrates

Butterfly_Brain wrote: »

I think that we should all live like this
http://www.incredible-edible-todmorden.co.uk/
Then maybe this country would be a much better place to live in

Having moved nearer towns something that shocked my last autumn was the amount of publically available fruit left to rot. Apples, crab apples, pears, plums gages...rotting on the tree. Late apples clinging to the tree even be young the frightful weather on main roads heading out of towns...a pear tree in a car park dropping its beautiful ripe fruit down around the ticket machine and someine from the council coming out to scrape it into a bin the day I saw it.

The towns I live near are the least wealthy in this county...there already is some free food, already with precious little in the way of ''foraging'' involved..bending over or reaching up for a pear or two while you get your free for an hour parking ticket in the carpark....

The best jam I ever made was that made with yellow gages/plums found sweet smelling on the side of a road under the tree they fell from. Such a wonderful delight, I took enough for a bout 8 jars...but ten families could have got the same amount still leaving plenty to be run over.


For the more adventurous public planting has a whole load more that is edible. I'd love to see more and more public planting be community lead and provident in its return.....I can't think of anything better....unless leaving a few roundabouts on unsafe roads for native wildflowers to prosper and not have people crossing for lettuce/peas/apples.

Seakay

I have noticed that there is a lot of foraging to be had in public parks, but I'm never sure how open to be about it because while somethings won't matter (such as picking up the walnuts and pinecones) if everybody picked eg bayleaves and ginko leaves then the shrubs and trees would be stripped and would suffer. Also I'm never sure what you are really allowed to take even if you can harvest without climbing or damaging trees and other plants

ceridwen

lostinrates wrote: »

Not for everyone though, my FiL became a ''NYLon'' in his sixties and had five years of almost weekly commuting primamrily between NYC in London. It wouldn't be for me, but he thrived on it. He can't imagine retiring, now in his seventies, though he does adore his job and works more sensible hours than someone in a City environment. My father who was a real workaholic retired last year and its been quite a shock to see the decline in him since then. In fact, I wonder if I just didn't notice it so much before? But he doesn't seem as sharp now tbh, and he spends a lot of time doing nothing....struggling to do basic organisation, leaving him with little time to enjoy stuff.

Because of my health problems its quite likely I won't make a great age, and we're lucky we are both of strong emotional constitution: we've spoken very frankly and thoroughly about the different ways things are likely to play out for us in the future, and living now is as important for me as saving for an easier future is for dh. It would be ideal if once the mortgage is gone we're both still about to enjoy a lighter workload for him, but probably continuing to work a bit, in a different role maybe.

Our house isn't even that big....what's left of it..half fell down before we bought it and we hope to put some of that back over time.:D It looks big from the outside, I think people don't realise its ''only'' two/three bed upstairs, an that the rain pours down the walls inside in some rooms, and while I don't have a peephole in the front door I can see people through the crack next to the door and behind the creeper quite clearly.:D and tell what perfume they are wearing if there is a breeze to bring the sent through the cracks! I think people are surprised a ''youngish'' couple bought it, because it looks ''big'' and impressive, and they assume we have lots of cash to throw at it: we're not prepared to borrow more to speed up the process of repair etc, because that would create more debt to service.....

anyway, these are all reasons that what appears to be ''wealth'' can be really carefully managed ''normality'', sensibly but as a close run thing. A change in dh's circumstances would see us in trouble very quickly.

What is a NYlon purlease?

Re FIL - I have often said that some people need a "sense of purpose" in life. Those that do often get this from a career or vocation (note I dont include "jobs" in that.....:(). To them - then retirement brings a very real sense of loss. To me - that is one consolation for the low-paid "mess of jobs" that I have had - ie that I get nothing from them - so I will lose nothing when they go:D. In a very real sense - "What you never have you never miss" will apply to my retirement and I will just be only too grateful to be able to throw myself into whatever-I-want:D. Whereas - obviously - someone who HAS had decent pay/high status/high level of interest in what they did clearly IS likely to miss work when its no longer there...

Re the state of your house - crikey...I thought mine was bad when I took it on - but yours sounds a heck of a sight worse:eek:. Hope you manage to get it sorted out to your satisfaction soon.

Re the health problem you mention that means you "Its quite likely I may not make a great age" as you put it - awwwww!!!! - I wasnt aware of that and wish for you that all works out as you want it too and life will be happy for you and whatever length you are personally happy with/want (((()))). It is understandable (and wise methinks) to plan things out according to The Most Likely Scenario in one's own personal life. I DO hope that all will go well for you in your life and that this illness/potential illness doesnt cause you any problems....

EDIT: Please 'scuse slightly "garbled" sentiments - as I dont know how to express them in English very well - as have only heard such sentiments expressed by non-British friends to date...<embarrassed smilie>

RAS

lostinrates wrote: »

Having moved nearer towns something that shocked my last autumn was the amount of publically available fruit left to rot. Apples, crab apples, pears, plums gages...rotting on the tree. Late apples clinging to the tree even be young the frightful weather on main roads heading out of towns...a pear tree in a car park dropping its beautiful ripe fruit down around the ticket machine and someine from the council coming out to scrape it into a bin the day I saw it.

LIR

I read your post and had got to point to http://www.leedsurbanharvest.org.uk/

and http://www.growsheffield.com/pages/groShefAbund.html

I spend a certain amount of time each autumn in a hard hat with apples bouncing off various bits; they hurt like hell if they get your boobs and I have not worked out how to fix a hard hat there yet.

The best - caught in the tarp and unbruised or picked - go out as straight distribution to charities. Most of the rest goes to juice because we can process a large amount relatively quickly and it keeps for ages. All voluteer stuff.

lostinrates

ceridwen wrote: »

What is a NYlon purlease?

A ''NyLon'' is a crazy person who thinks they can divide their personal and work life successfully commuting between...new york city and London. Oh yes. Pre Crunch we knew a few....now...not so much!

''....

Re the state of your house - crikey...I thought mine was bad when I took it on - but yours sounds a heck of a sight worse:eek:. Hope you manage to get it sorted out to your satisfaction soon.

An MSE chum visited this weekend and said ''This is some five year plan''and I said, ''well, its actually a twenty five year plan!''. Its fun. Its more fun now winter is over though!


The other stuff, I'm mainly ok with. we none of us know what the future holds. I'd like to know my wonderful husband isn't left in chaos and that another woman coming into his life would like and help him take care of the pets and love them, and feels free to change EVERYTHING we choose to something they choose. I fully expect to be around for a couple of decades at least though, so its still worth me choosing good stuff! (I'm not meant to be here now, but I'm a hell of a lot better, incomperable to how i was when I first join MSE for example. I might ''grow out of it ...and my family live into their nineties and hundreds, so you never know, a short life for me might still out live DH.) But it was me getting ill that changed our somewhat chaotic but wonderful life to a more regularised income life with other wonderful things in it.