Start of my Debt-Free Journey

[Deleted User]

Hi All,
Have had my LBM, spent many evenings sitting down counting up all my debt and ashamed to say its far worse than I thought.

Problem is, I have started on this path before- make great plans but then I never have the willpower to carry-on along the path of actually dealing the debt and my problems with spending. I 'convince' myself I deserve it cause I work full-time in a stressful job. Have suffered with depression over recent years and this definately has contributed to my spending.

Have spent ages reading other threads and got much inspiration and I do feel able to deal with things now- to be honest havent got much choice, I've maxed the cards, got loans and overdrafts.

I cut up the cards three weeks ago, only have a debit card now that I cant do much damage with. Was so nervous of living without my credit cards since I went to the retail park most lunchtimes, felt better by spending then worse when I had to hide the bags in the boot from DH, getting them out when he went to walk the dogs.

Have realised how materialistic I had become and feel so ashamed. Also realised how my friends are the same and how I've been caught up in having lots of clothes, buying loads for the house just to 'keep up'.

I have spent ages looking at the old-style boards and this type of life really appeals to me, making things more simple, enjoying the important things in life- my family and real friends- I am already making a start by making food from scratch, planning meals, not having take-aways. Have enjoyed this and saved some money.

At the moment I can manage my minimum payments and hopefully a bit more with the savings I make adopting old-style ways. Do think I've got a bit of a spending addiction and have found the last few weeks difficult however I cant feel any worse than I did when I was spending on credit, knowing I couldnt afford it and was getting in trouble.

Would love to be in touch with people who feel the same as me, whom have run up debt trying to achieve the perfect lifestyle and who want to simplify things and enjoy the important things in life.

Thanks for reading :o:o:o:o:o

DragonflyCandy

First of all welcome to the family!;)
You have done really well so far and what a brilliant start it takes a very strong person to cut up those cards, im only a newbie so dont have much knowledge yet but if you post your SOA some of the more wiser and experienced members well definatly give you the best advice to help you on your debt free journey.

have a good read at all the forums and challenges because not only do they save you money but their quite fun too the weekly spend challenge is my personal favourite!
i wish you all the best for your money saving journey :beer:

michef

Hello, Im new on here, ive been lurking and reading for a year now. I found out my partner was cheating on me in 2008 and we split, my choice after 'trying' to resolve it for 3 months. However the result was we had to sell the house, it took a year to sell it (at the wrong time as we lost 12k on the sale). So i moved back to parents with the debt i clocked up from living my perfect life for 11years, nothing was unachievable with the ever increasing credit limits the card companies offered me, which gave me even more confidence to spend (thinking they wouldnt lend it if i couldnt pay it - how thick was I?)

Since we split i had to move back to parents (at 35yrs old with my 6yr old son) and weve shared a room there for the last year. I seriously was woken up to the amount of debt i had and really now nothing to show for it but a great bills file and a ream of a credit file. In the last yr Ive managed to pay off 2 loans and a credit card, and ive cut my cc's up. I still have a long way to go with £16k bank loan and £7k cc balances but ive managed to sort of train myself into not just swiping the cards just when i want something. I cant tell you how hard its been for me to not even go to the Next sales so I dont get tempted to spend, but I can see a light, its took me a year but im on the right track.

Good luck in your debt free goals, its not a case of having to be miserable whilst doing this, but feeling proud that you can achieve being DF, even if its still some time off. We can do it x

foxgloves

A big well-done for making a brave start. As you start budgeting & living a simpler life, you will start to get a buzz & sense of achievement from it which will replace or partly repalce the buzz you must have been getting by spending money. Unfortunately, the last couple of decades has been defined for most people by 'having stuff' and whereas comparitively recently (certainly through my childhood, teens & student years), people had to save before they bought something, the credit age has meant that for the first time everyone regardless of income has been given the wherewithall to buy far more than they can often afford. The whole advertising industry is geared up to making us feel our lives would be better if only we owned this, that & the other & of course that's rubbish, but it's a powerful industry & it can need a real strength of character to resist it. In May this year, we will have paid off our last debt. Since having my LBM (closely followed by husband having his) our attitude to spending has completely changed. We still have things, but all our spending is planned & we save for the larger items. It feels sooooo much better being in control. I know I've posted this before, but basically, if you have to put it on a credit card, extend your overdraft or take out a loan to buy it, then that's someone else's money, not yours & you obviously can't afford it. As for being Old-style, yes, using these tried & tested skills has helped me pay off our debt. I menu-plan and always shop to a list, I keep a good storecupboard so I can always turn out a good meal if we have a tighter month, I always cook from scratch including bread, I shop around & use the local market for fruit & veg. I make lots of presents for friends & family as I like craft, baking & preserving, and we both like growing veg which definitely saves on food bills, especially in the summer. I do find I prefer living a more simple life. Yes, I don't buy expensive skincare brands any more, but you know...my skin hasn't fallen off or broken out into hideous plague, it is fine! I'm buying fewer clothes & not being snotty about charity shops. Recently I've found a brand new Monsoon handbag for £5 and a dress for £4.99 that I don't think had ever been worn! You are going through that horrible time following a LBM when you just so so want your debts to be gone. It's a long process, but you can do it. Make a budget and then look at each & every way you can cut back. Remember that every penny you can shave off can be additional payment into your debt. Sorry this is a long post, but you sound like we used to be.......you CAN turn things around and your attitude to money will become something that works FOR you instead of against you. I wish you lots of luck with it all x

zarazara

It is a brave thing to do,face up to the debts. And very well done indeed for cutting up the cards. I think its important to congratulate yourself each time you resist buying something and each time you make a debt payment. Do stay with us and take a look at the old style board ,theres lots of help and inspiration there. Depression is a terrible thing, been there,got the t-shirt,as they say. I find listing 5 pleasures on the OS board helps me. so,to tackle the debts,I find de-cluttering clears the house and the mind and if you can sell a few hinga on ebay or amazon then the amount raised,even if its a small sum,can go toward debt repayment. Seek ways of finding pleasures and rewards which dont involve paying for stuff,enjoy a flower or a bird singing for instance. Clothes, take the 12 month o clothes buy challenge, wear what you have for now,rotate your wardrobe,maybe start with an accessory eg a pair of earings,then find clothes to wear with it,make up new combinations eg if you always wear jeans and a t shirt try jeans with a shirt or blouse instead. its great fun. keep us posted abut how you are doing,we are all here to help. Best Wishes.

[Deleted User]

Dragonfly Candy, michef, foxglove and zarazara,
Thank you so much for taking the time and trouble to reply, I really am so touched and feel so supported. As I was writing my first post I worried the I sounded like a selfish, spoiled person- but I really wanted to be truthful.

michef, sounds like youve had a real c**p time over past couple of years, good for you for dealing with things- it must have been so hard to get started, would love to follow how youre doing.

foxgloves thanks so much for your post, its inspirational to hear from someone whos been there and made a real difference to their lives- that is the lifestyle I now aspire too. Can you suggest particular old-style threads that would be helpful? At present I am ploughing through a 'simplifying life' thread by ceriwen, its quite old and now closed but very imformative.

Now going to look for 'the weekly spend challenge' - feel so inspired by your comments.

Thanks again, keep in touch x :T:T:T

IndigoBlue_2

Hi,

Well done on taking the first step. Can you post an SOA so I can identify particular areas you could cut back on etc.

What job do you do btw?

happyhaddock_2

Hi Lilliykins and welcome. It's very daunting when you start out and seeing what you owe in black and white can be a big eye opener. I had never actually added it all up had underestimated it by nearly £2000!. I've been on a DMP with CCCS for nearly a year now and things are now running quite smoothly (touch wood lol )

I think the hardest change for us was learning to stick to a budget and paying for everything cash as you no longer have the "safety net" of credit, though you soon realise what a false sense of security it was. If we hadn't of run up so much debt we would be really well off now . So good luck to you, we've just done our first Christmas paid for by cash and it was a great feeling, it's not always easy and you still have down days, but you can always come on here and moan

[Deleted User]

Thanks again guys, I'm overwhelmed- am enjoying this more than shopping!!!
Could anyone please tell me how I can find a copy of a SOA so I can post it here.
Cheers x

IndigoBlue_2

Yes, look at this thread
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/107280

daviesalie_2

Hi Lilykins, you're definitely not alone! If you're anything like me, I walk around shops with an angel and a devil on my shoulder and a battle going on in my head about buying something. 9 times out of 10 the devil used to win, but my angel is getting a right little hard-a** now! I used to live on my credit cards and cutting them up was a MAJOR achievement in itself because they were always there when the cash ran out! I was the same as you, maxed my cards, couldn't get any more credit, so had no choice. I think that's why I've fallen off the wagon so many times, because it wasn't a true LBM, just a forced one. However, I think after 2 yrs I've finally turned a corner. My motto is budget, budget, budget! Know where every penny goes and put every spare penny towards your debt. I've just started a new thread called 'A Pleasant Surprise' and I've said there about sending a payment of £1 to my credit card. It seems like a bit of a cheek at the time, but those £1's are quite a significant amount over a year and undoubtedly would've been wasted otherwise.

So keep with it and most importantly come on here whenever you wobble, it does wonders for your frame of mind and puts you straight back on track.

Good luck with it - you can do it!!!