Feeling Guilty

stejobeth

Feeling a bit guilty today. Our daughter, who is in Year 10, has always enjoyed school but found it hard especially English. In infant and junior school we asked if she could be dyslexic but were told no she just needed to try harder . When she got to high school her reading and spelling were still terrible so at parents evening we asked if they thought there was a problem and again were told she just needed to try harder :mad:.

Anyway since she has started Year 10 she has really struggled with the amount of work and she has been bringing work that she has done in class home for me to check and then copying it up at home. So really she has been doing twice as much work. Her class/course work is ok but then she doesn't do well in exams/tests. Last month she did one of her English GCSE tests and got a D which really upset her.

We said we still thought she is dyslexic so she mentioned it to her form teacher. She was tested yesterday and surprise, surprise, she is! We are just waiting for school to get back to us to arrange to go in and discuss it further.

Me and her dad just feel like we have really let her down and guilty that she has got to almost 15 without this being discovered

monstermuncher

You haven't let her down at all. I can understand why you feel that way, but if it weren't for you then it would never have been discovered at all.

Most people would put their trust in professionals, that's why they're professional. You've been let down, but you definitely have nothing to feel guilty about.

stejobeth

Thanks for that. Deep down I know you are right. I just keep thinking about all the tears we have had over the years when it came to reading and spelling and wish we had put our foot down and demanded they tested her.

teabag29

How did you manage to get her tested if you dont mind me asking? Im having a similar problem with my dd who is 12 but the teacher said no she's not dyslexic and thats the end of it, no test or anything. I really believe she could be though but dont know how to get her tested to be sure.

pigpen

I spoke to the senco and demanded mine were tested.. we have a family history of dyslexia so I was just pushy and nagged until they gave in and did it. You canpay for it through the Dyslexia Institute but many schools won't recognise the findings unless their own tests have been conducted too so you may as ell save your money and push the school from the start.

The teachers don't know very much when it comes to issues like this I've found (unless their own children had issues) so speaking to the senco (who often have little knowledge either) is worth pushing for.

Hopefully now things will get much easier for her

travelgran

Do make sure that the school start to give her extra time for tests - even internal school tests. From memory I think 20%-25% extra time is the norm. You need to ask the Senco about it. For her to have this for her GCSEs there has to be evidence that extra time is a standard arrangement for her and that she benefits from it. (No good having extra time if it makes no difference whatsoever!)

stejobeth

teabag29 wrote: »

How did you manage to get her tested if you dont mind me asking? Im having a similar problem with my dd who is 12 but the teacher said no she's not dyslexic and thats the end of it, no test or anything. I really believe she could be though but dont know how to get her tested to be sure.

I had a look online at different dyslexia sites and all of the signs pointed towards dd so we told her to mention it to her english teacher. Instead she spoke to her form teacher (who she really likes) and by afternoon registration she had been onto learning support to get her tested. We had said though that if nothing was done we would have spoken to head of year next and taken it from there.

I have spoken to learning support this afternoon and they are going to do a few more tests over the next few days and then we can go in next week to discuss what support she needs.

I think the main thing is that dd is relieved that she now knows there is a reason for why she's been finding it so hard

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Might have no effect at all, but might make you feel better to write to the head/governors of the old school and say something along the lines 'this teacher said this about my DD. She has been confirmed as dyslexic. So you need to look at retraining/awareness with your staff as she has been disadvantaged by poorly trained staff'. Could be that if enough letters are received that the school implements something for individual staff or the school as a whole, or you just have the satisfaction of imagining the head spluttering over their morning coffee.

DD1 did something similar in person to her old teacher who described her a not particularly sharp and very lazy - announced in the middle of DD2's parents evening - in front of lots of parents and staff - that she was in the accelerated learning scheme as part of the G&T reg.

gratefulforhelp_2

The key thing is you know before her GCSEs, she should get extra time (25%) and maybe a scribe and or a reader.

Don't feel guily, have a friend who is a special needs teacher and I had to say at 16 when I was helping her daughter with her GCSE prep...I think she's dyslexic...sure enough she was. Sometimes you can be too close to notice. xxx

meritaten

I know the feeling - my gd was falling well behind in class and the teacher did say that she is good student but rushes her work - hence the mistakes. I tutored her over the summer holidays and after two hours with her I phoned my son and asked if she was dyslexic? I am number dyslexic myself and son is both number and word dyslexic, 'No' school says she isnt dyslexic' . I disagreed and son pushed for her to get tested - and yes she is!
btw I managed to get her on a par with her classmates over the holidays but sadly she is sliding behind again - despite the school now knowing about her dyslexia!

Spendless

My neice has just been found out to be dyslexic by her tutor and she's 20 and her 2nd year at uni, so I wouldn't beat yourself up about it.