Friend's funeral

faithcecilia

My friend died 2 weeks ago and its her funeral tomorrow. Her death was expected - she had cancer (3rd time) and every day since Christmas has been another days pain for her. I know she is now happy, her journey has ended, and she is with our Lord:A:T:j:T:A

I haven't seen a lot of her in the last 3yrs - I went into the convent and since that went wrong I have been living and working away. I had hoped to see her while I was there for Christmas but I was very ill with what I later found to be pneumonia, so obviously I couldn't see her and give her my germs. I don't feel guilty that I didn't get to see her, but I do feel sad.

I am going to the funeral, but know it will be hard. Firstly, its the first person I have lost since losing my beloved grandad last year, and I suspect I will be reminded of that. Secondly, she was the first of my personal friends to have died - others have been elderly relatives, old people from Church, friends parents and my parents friends -and I wonder how I will feel with that too. Adding a silly problem, I have absolutely no suitable clothes

I'm also feeling quite wrung out as the family I work for are going through a horribly tough time for a few reasons and as I live with them, and after 18mths of course I also love them, it is affecting me too, plus I have been needed to work more hours. And my own personal life, with hoping to get back into a convent this year, is also emotional just now.

I don't really know why I have posted this:o but maybe a little moral support might help thanks.

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

My condolences, it's my fathers funeral tomorrow.

faithcecilia

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK wrote: »

My condolences, it's my fathers funeral tomorrow.

I am sorry to hear this, I will pray for and think of you and your family.

OAP1945

my thoughts are with both of you xx

pigpen

What a sad time for you ((hugs))

It doesn't matter what you wear to a funeral, wear something your friend bought you or liked or in her favourite colour.. You could wear a chicken suit if you wanted, the important thing is you are there to remember your lovely friend who suffered very much in her short life and send her on her final journey with your love and happy thoughts.

She is free from her pain and sadness and your pain and sadness will ease over time.

While you are getting ready for the funeral, remember the things she said that made you laugh, the things she loved and that brought you together.

Don't make any huge decisions regarding your future while you are grieving and the family you are working for can deal with their own issues, offer advice and support if you can but don't get embroiled in someone elses affairs, it will only drag you down further.

soupdragon10

I'm sure your friend wouldn't care about 'suitable' clothes - she would just be pleased that you cared enough to attend. Any loss will always bring back memories, but is also a reminder that we should treasure every day we share with those around us and celebrate the people in our lives.

I do hope things turn a corner for you very soon. My thoughts are with you.

meritaten

faith - wear what you feel comfortable in for your freinds funeral. Not all funerals call for black clothing these days. just wear subdued colours UNLESS the family ask for bright clothes - the funeral directors will know, ring them or someone in the family you are closer to.
The family you work for may well be having problems - but you only WORK for them hun. try not to get embroiled in the problems. just be there for the kids!

belfastgirl23

on a very practical note, Rescue Remedy pastilles can be very helpful in these kinds of situations, just for taking the edge off.

I think as long as your clothes are relatively plain (and I'm guessing your background means you probably have some of these ) people are usually just glad to see you there rather than getting into big discussions about what you wore.

I'm very sorry for your loss and hope it goes ok tomorrow.

faithcecilia

Thanks everyone. Im feeling okay today, and have sorted what I'm wearing. Actually, its exactly what I wore to my Grandad's memorial - a black dress with a little bit of purple - but I will wear plain tights rather than the purple print ones I wore to his - it was a different situation as we celebrated his life months later and were 'officially' out of mourning, so all the family wore fairly bright things.

I have 2 and a bit hours til I set off so just getting myself sorted:)

Lirin

Faith- remember and treasure all the good things your friend did, and what she meant. Funerals are very hard, especially when it's someone your age. I will be thinking of you today.

Abbafan1972

My condolences and I hope the funeral goes well today. (((Hugs)))