Need advice - hate my boss and want to leave :(

complimentschemistry

Urgently need some advice 'cos I'm kind of at breaking point at the moment with this job. I like the people, but I've thought about leaving anyway and I'm getting really frustrated anyway and it's affecting my health.

My boss argues with me and picks on me and favours others in my department. When I defend myself, I get had a go at for "talking back"! There is no-one else I am able to talk to as my boss is pally pally with all managers and it's a very "!!!!!y" company so he'd find out if I made a complaint, AND there is no HR department... seriously, it's the managing director wife who comes in once a month.

I want to hand in my notice like NOW as I'm getting really stressed and ill when I think about coming to work. Should I just leave and get a job after, or should I search high and low for a job now and then leave? I know what the more sensible option is but I'm feeling concerned about this.

Any advice would be amazing! Many thanks.

stephyt23

I really wouldn't leave until you have something. You only need to take a look through the support each other finding work thread to realise how many of us have been out of work for several months and counting.

Gordon_Hose

The sensible thing would be to keep your head down and look for a new job whilst still in employment.

persa

complimentschemistry wrote: »

Urgently need some advice 'cos I'm kind of at breaking point at the moment with this job. I like the people, but I've thought about leaving anyway and I'm getting really frustrated anyway and it's affecting my health.

My boss argues with me and picks on me and favours others in my department. When I defend myself, I get had a go at for "talking back"! There is no-one else I am able to talk to as my boss is pally pally with all managers and it's a very "!!!!!y" company so he'd find out if I made a complaint, AND there is no HR department... seriously, it's the managing director wife who comes in once a month.

I want to hand in my notice like NOW as I'm getting really stressed and ill when I think about coming to work. Should I just leave and get a job after, or should I search high and low for a job now and then leave? I know what the more sensible option is but I'm feeling concerned about this.

Any advice would be amazing! Many thanks.

If you can't find a job straight away, what will you live on? Do you have a partner who will support you, lots of savings, etc?

If you walk out of your job, you won't get any JSA, at least not for a while. As awful as your current job may feel to you, make sure you have a plan before getting out. There are lots of us here who have been looking for work for a long time and haven't found anything remotely suitable.

KiKi

I'm not sure anyone can tell you what to do in this situation! Most people will tell you to be sensible and stay and find a job first - but I personally think it depends on your circumstances, your savings, your skills and how unhappy you are.

I quit my job last year because I could no longer tolerate my senior manager behaving in a very inappropriate way in the organisation. I didn't have a job to go to. I became self-employed and started pursuing my dream of being a writer, and I do HR consultancy to pay the bills. I love it.

But - I had savings to cover me, and rather than having general HR skills I had specialised in a couple of specific areas which aren't commonly found, and was confident I would be able to find some sort of work. I also wasn't bothered about what I did - cleaning, retail, consultancy, customer care...so again I was confident that I'd find something if the worst came to the worst.

It was a risk, but I was SO unhappy. I took a 6 month career break and when I went back it was just as bad, and I knew I didn't want to stay.

I wouldn't quit if you have nothing to fall back on and are going to be applying for jobs with hundreds of others. But if you have savings, and if you have skills that are in demand, or are happy to take that risk, then I'd leave!

KiKi

TEDDYRUKSPIN

I feel for you greatly. Been through it and survived.

Due to my health and just not standing for the same abuse. At least it was in the office. I got full abuse in front of a crowd of people eating in a restaurant! Racist comments and also adamant blackmail at the same time.

I took a nice decision and quit. Had enough of the abuse and neither should anyone. The gamble was worth it. I managed to get a job within 2 months. That was lucky. A friend has done the same, although I advised her to stay on. 3 months down the line, she is still jobless.

Everyone is different. Just make sure before you make any stupid decisions, that you can support yourself financially.

This means if you have any money for foods, transport, rent, etc etc. Or if you can get any financial assistance.

Good luck.

[Deleted User]

I'd not recommend leaving a job until you have another one in place.

Start searching for a new job, and do your best to grin and bare (sp?) where you are until something else comes along. Try motivating yourself to stay it knowing that it will not be forever (and do all that you can to get a new job - the only one that will lose out by quitting now is you!)

You might not find it too easy getting a new job at the moment (there are many people out of work just now), and if you left your current job (I'm not sure about the actual details), but you would not get JSA or other benifits from the ofset, and there's no guarantee that you'll walk straight in to a new job.

Good luck in job searching - but better to have a job you don't enjoy than no job at all

complimentschemistry

Hi all,

Thanks for all of your helpful responses... I don't have any savings unfortunately but I live at home and main expense is my car, which if I absolutely had to, I would sell. PAYG phone as well.

I think I'm going to put my head down and search search search! Even if it's a P/T job in a shop at least I won't be a stressy b*tch all the time from hating my job. I'm going to ask friends, in my local shops, call up everything I can do in the paper and hope I get something ASAP. Thanks again for all your help

dmg24

I had a horrid boss once (more than once!), and hated going to work. A colleague coped with it so much better than me, so I asked her how. She explained that she saw work as a job and nothing more - she goes in, she gets on with her work, she leaves. Her life was outside of the office, and the two did not overlap. Easier said than done, but maybe a good way to look at it until you can find something else?

Oldernotwiser

complimentschemistry wrote: »

Hi all,

Thanks for all of your helpful responses... I don't have any savings unfortunately but I live at home and main expense is my car, which if I absolutely had to, I would sell. PAYG phone as well.

Even living with your parents and selling your car you'll need something to live on and you could be sanctioned from JSA for up to 26 weeks by leaving a job voluntarily.

williacg

Stick it out for as long as you can, and keep your head down, but at the same time, in addition to searching like mad for a new job, join a union (if you're not yet a member), and keep them informed of the events that are happening that are pushing you to leave, who knows, they might be able to help, and offer some valuable support.

Like others on this thread, I experienced a similar thing, and also ended up leaving without a job to go to, but set up on my own, however, I had planned my move over quite a long period of time, and was confident that my skills, qualifications and contacts would keep me in work (and it also helped that I had squirrled away a few pounds).

What makes me smile the most is that since leaving the organisation, I made sure that I left on good terms (excluding the bully of course), and kept in touch with a few key people in the company, and since doing so, I now carry out work for the company on a self-employed basis, and take great pleasure from calling into the office every now and again, and strutting past the bully that made my work environment a nightmare for so long.

Good luck , and I hope all goes well.