Splitting up and moving away....advice

PerfectPeaches

Hi all,

Haven't posted for a while in any forum due to a rocky time at home but I'm after some advice as at the moment I feel incredibly confused.

To cut a long story short my partner and I are splitting up and I will be moving 100 miles away back to where I grew up as that is where my support network is although I hate the fact that our daughter won't see or dad that much.

I will basically be giving up my much loved job but I can't stay in Lincs as I just don't have a good network of family and friends.

What I am really in need of is knowing about benefits what I can and what I can't claim. I am currently looking at jobs back home and I know a few recruiters quite well so I will be going back to work but what I am confused about apart from what I can claim is how to strike a work/life/child balance as a single parent.

Any advice would be very much appreciated

Peaches x

ellay864

I don't know your circumstances but my first instinct is to say to avoid rushing into anything. When my now ex and I split my boys were 7 and 5, and I have no family up here. But people from my boys school were surprisingly supportive and I was able to keep the continuity for them, they maintained contact and a good relationship with their dad and I kept my job.
I did consider moving back to my hometown but many of my network of friends had changed considerably; friends that I saw a lot of previously all had their own new lives and families, so it would have been a real upheaval to move back, with no guarantee of the support I'd get. I also don't have massive family so maybe that's different for you.
But for me the continuity I had with my job, my kid's school meant some stability while I was adjusting to the massive change of life as a single parent, and that really helped me more than anything. I was devastated at the split anyway; I don't think I could have coped with the disruption to other aspects of my life.
Obviously your daughter is much younger but that will bring it's own problems unless you have family that can look after her if you get another job.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do x

PerfectPeaches

Thanks for your response ellay.

I am fortunate to have a large family and my mother has already agreed to babysit once I go back to work should I definitely move back home.

At the moment I just need to weigh up my options and make the best decision for both me and my daughter. Its a big step which I don't want to make until I am 110% ready.

Peaches x

duchy

It's a tough time but going where your support is-and by the sound of it better prospect of finding new work is sensible .

I'd talk to your child's father about access-find out how often he expects to see your daughter -and decide between you what is workable. She's going to be disrupted with a new home and a new school/care arrangements so build in what stability you can -like knowing when she will see him.

Good luck !

PerfectPeaches

Thanks duchy.

We have already discussed access and it would be two weekends a month due to his work commitments and hopefully this will extend once his work settles down. It is an amicable split, nothing nasty or heated!

Peaches x