SOA - advice please

originalmiscellany

Sorry to hear about your predicament, and well done on facing up to the next 5 years of your life (or medium term anyway).
Things I've tried to sleep which works well; No computer after 9pm, no work after 8:30 pm, and a cup of decaff tea before bed time with MOM.
I've found getting into a habit is a great help, your body knows it's time for bed once you have that cup of tea at 10:00!
Could you also shop at say a Costco or equivalent? We've started shopping there and save a decent amount by buying in built, bags of onions/veg/meat etc seems to make a difference. Similarly, wine is cheap there, but I think cutting down on that and ensuring you're not dependant on that to sleep is needed, but a box of wine (say the equivalent of 3 bottles) can be shared over the week, so just a glass per night rather than a bottle.

I think your OH needs to check what he's spending too, as you say, a coffee a day will make a huge difference over a year. One thing you could do is maybe budget and have a set amount to spend as a "luxury" a week, say just £20 a week, which can go on anything other than essentials. If he wants to spend it on skinny latte's (or whatever they're now called) then that's fine.

Best of luck though in this challenging time for you, your OH and your family.

originalmiscellany

To give you some hope, we used to spend say £50 a week on food, with Costco, it's down to £35 a week, due to buying in bulk and cooking cheaper meals... (That's for 2 adults)

angiepooos

Hahhaha that demotivator has just scared the sh*t out of me! What a great tool.

angiepooos

Tea to help me sleep? I'll have a look out for that. It has to be healthier than wine. Thanks for the tips.

This place is a like a magical world of people of the same species, when I was beginning to feel more alone than I've ever felt. Debt is more embarrassing to talk about in my circles than herpes.

eschaton

Not being horrible but being blunt here....

You both need to get a grip of your spending and account for every penny spent.

Your SOA suggests that you should have £2k per month savings, thats £24k per year - you don't have a penny.

On top of this, you have built up nearly £55k of debt.

You are both living a life that doesn't even equate anywhere near to your current high income.

Get a budget set up and stick to it.

angiepooos

Then maybe we should just sell the house, rent and start again. I wish there were another way though.

TheDoolallyDilly

If you can't find/don't like the valerian tea, you can get valerian tablets from health food shops/Boots (whichever is cheapest, obviously :money:) I am worried for you that you are using wine to help you sleep, it's a bit of a slippery slope. I am sure you will find that you sleep better once you have done a new SOA and have a proper budget and a plan to pay off your debts - you'll feel in control again.

angiepooos wrote: »

If they get married, we won't be able to contribute to their weddings in any meaningful way.

My parents didn't contibute to my wedding - we saved up and only had what we could afford - it's a lesson that needs to be learned :A Try and look on the bright side, and good luck with your debt busting journey ((hug))

NeverAgain_2

...my husband can't see the problem, but he will do soon...

We seem to have had one or two cases recently of the male half of the partnership burying his head in what you find on a beach.

The OP's husband brings home a cracking wage, which I don't doubt he works hard for.

He probably thinks that's enough, but in this case it isn't.

What's the use of a lousy £3.5K a month when you want to spend £5K?

Mr OP either needs to up his income bigstyle, or preferably face up to his responsibilities to his family.

Angie says he will do soon, I hope she's right.

tangyfog

Angiepoos

FYI this is a quick anaysis of your spending that I have done.

I am 200-300 pounds off as I have strip out non essentials such as presents, emergency fund, and suc likes etc

Income 5200

Mortgage/Rent 1200 23.08%
House Bills 520 10.00%
Shopping 600 11.54%
Entertaiment and eat out 200 3.85%
Transport 345 6.63%
Healthcare 28 0.54%
Debts 1674 32.19%
Savings and Pension 0 0.00%
Insurance 76 1.61%
4643 89.44%

Available Surplus £549.25

The good new is your budget from SOA look quite good interms of percentages however 32 percent of your money is paying of debt.

Maybe go interest only on mortgage and pay down debt.

backinbusiness

angiepooos wrote: »

Debt is more embarrassing to talk about in my circles than herpes.

Sorry to laugh, but this made me spit my tea out.

There is always someone worse off than yourself, I mean;

You could have debt AND herpes!!!

Getting some good advice here.

Well done and keep posting!

bib