separated and feeling guilty ...

Deals_2

so you dont like to say no to the kids you have left behind//... even when it is not convenient. not my own experience but someone i know. wondered how you dealt with this situation. thanks in advance. can post more info if helps.

thorsoak

If you were not separated, would you say no to certain situations? If because you are separated you think you should say yes - then you should feel guilty - BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT BEING TRUE TO YOUR OWN INSTINCT.

Being separated does not change right and wrong.

Pee

i think being a parent and knowing when to say "no" is really hard in the very best of circumstances. When you are separated and there may be issues between the parents, I need to do this or the other parent will be cross with me and unreasonable or I need to do this because otherwise the other parent will, then it is going to be much more difficult. If there is any element of guilt, which isn't the same thing as blame, then I think it's natuiral to want to "make that up". Natural but not always the right thing for the child.

You say that it isn't you but someone else you know. If it's your partner and you are finding this an issue, it might be worth discussing how they feel about it as they may need reassurance about what they want their boundaries to be or it might be that you will have to accept the children as a priority in your partner's life, something which says a lot about their character and possibly a lot of positives about your future together, as long as they are able to reassure you of your importnace in their life.