Problems with my ex - help please? (sorry long)

Bossyboots

missimaxo wrote:

I divorced him last year 2 years after the seperation agreement was signed. Neither of us used a solicitor and it was a simple divorce. I believe he had to sign something about our daughter, but I can't remember what. In the end I got my decree absolut, but there was no court order about either custody or access rights.

I don't want to go off topic but what about the clean break court order you need when you divorce. Did you do one of those?

System

I'm sorry but it sounds to me that your ex has lashed out in frustration. He only has the child every other weekend and a couple of hours during the week and these limited sessions have been disrupted lately to your advantage. Now he finds out that you want to move away and make it more difficult for him to see his child.

I'm a woman but even I can see that he must be so scared that he is going to lose his relationship with his child altogether. Perhaps now is the time to suggest he has your child every weekend and do away with the midweek contact due to the longer round trip. Since you will be moving to Doncaster and your child will have to leave her old friends and school there would be an extra night during the week for her to take up an new activity which hopefully, for your child and your ex's sake, would not eat into their valuable time together.

It's true that you have a right to get on with your life but thinking about your child do you think is good for her to have even less contact with her father than she has at the moment. Sure she might not want to go at times because of friends and parties but when she grows up she might resent the both of you for not working together to ensure that she had a healthy loving relationship with the both of you.

I always despair when I hear of the so called parents rights to access to their children. Since the child is so important surely what we should be considering is THEIR right to fair access to both their parents providing, of course, that there is no risk of harm to the child.

Crazychik

Pam17 wrote:

I'm a woman but even I can see that he must be so scared that he is going to lose his relationship with his child altogether. Perhaps now is the time to suggest he has your child every weekend and do away with the midweek contact due to the longer round trip. Since you will be moving to Doncaster and your child will have to leave her old friends and school there would be an extra night during the week for her to take up an new activity which hopefully, for your child and your ex's sake, would not eat into their valuable time together..

What about the mum's time with her daughter at the weekend, My kids are at school during the week, and some things we cant do as a family until the weekend. Its only fair that the mum should have a weekend with the DD as well as the father having her alternate wk ends.

Everything I do - I always take my kids feelings into consideration, whether its work, school, trips out etc, I wont allow them to be messed around and being pushed from pillar to post cos my ex cant be bothered to see them 1 wk end.

Sorry Im not having a pop at you directly, but the father should get his act together and stop having a strop.