Need help

dancingfairy

Hi - I think you really need to tell your partner -a ) because they'll possibly wonder why you're tired/stressed out and b) because if you are both pulling in different directions resentment will set in. You can of course make it clear that you don't expect them to help out with your debts but hopefully they then won't be suggesting expensive holidays etc in the near future.
I would give CCCS or National Debtline a ring or pop into your local CAB. After living expenses you have about 550 ish a month to pay to your creditors so you may want to consider a debt management plan where that 550 a month is split between your creditors. Alternatively you may want to consider a DRO - I'm not sure on the exact qualifying criteria but this is like a mini-bankruptcy. Have a chat with the debt charities and see what they suggest.
Oh the other thing that occurred to me was wondering how you managed to run the bills up - was it for household expenses, things for the kids etc? if so then your partner perhaps needs to appreciate that running a house is expensive and not be so mad at you if it's things you both benefited from.
Best of Luck
df

Jaystag

This is all good advice. I know I need to tell my partner but this would be more break than make I feel.

The biggest problem I have is with the Payday Loans. The rollover fees are crippling me and I have no way out.

All my own fault I understand but we all have to have our LBM's at some point.

CCCS and the like won't be able to help me with the Payday companies will they because they'll just take the money from my account and leave me broke regardless.

pmf63

Jaystag wrote: »

This is all good advice. I know I need to tell my partner but this would be more break than make I feel.

The biggest problem I have is with the Payday Loans. The rollover fees are crippling me and I have no way out.

All my own fault I understand but we all have to have our LBM's at some point.

CCCS and the like won't be able to help me with the Payday companies will they because they'll just take the money from my account and leave me broke regardless.

I hear what you are saying about telling her the full story and it is a risk but, if you don't you will definitely lose her!!

I can't advice about payday taking out of your bank df will I bet though.

dancingfairy

Of course they'll help you. What they can't do is stop the payday loan companies taking the money out of your bank account. What therefore is recommended is to get a new bank account away from the payday loans - a basic one will probably be best since your credit rating is probably not the best and get all essentials standing orders set up. Close your old bank account if possible.
Contact the payday loans companies (or do this via CCCS) and explain that you don't have the money but you can offer x amount per month - this should be paid by standing order from your new bank - you should not give your new bank details to the payday loans companies. If you have managed to shut your old acount then all well and good as they will have to accept token payments from you. If you haven't managed to shut your old account and they have rinsed it then fine you won't have to deal with the payday loans people again and you can set up a payment plan with your old bank. JOb done. Do talk to CCCS or National Debtline about it though as they will have this sort of situation all the time.
The other thing that you may be able to do is see if you have a credit union in your area who can lend you a bit of money at a sensible interest rate in order to pay off the payday loans people - generally credit unions will try and help out with people stuck in the payday loan trap like you are.
df

Jaystag

DF - I'm not going to be able to close my old account due to the £500 overdraft I have. Also - no credit unions in my area at all. The idea of losing my kids is simply not something I can contemplate, this is why I'm desperate to get myself out of the hole I have dug myself into.

Numpty_Monkey

CCCS will be able to help:A
and the first thing they will sugguest is to set up a new bank account,
(close the one you have) a Basic one, Co-op cashminder is a good one, Natwest have a Basic account and a few others aswell, make sure they aren't linked to any of your creditors. That will stop them taking any money.

Get your account set up and send this letter http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=21937969&postcount=51

milliemonster

I'm pretty sure your partner would be understanding, if she is not working and you are the sole provider, it seems obvious on the income you have that many of these debts have not been built up by being frivolous but just for getting by and supporting your family, 3 children cost a lot!

You need to work together on this now, pool your finances together and get some independent help, there is no point trying to keep your finances separate when only one of you is working and you have a family together, it's just a recipe for disaster

pmf63

Jaystag, you said earlier that your partner pays some of the bills. Is she working or if not how does she pay for these?

Also on that salary, are you getting child tax credits? Working tax credits?

Jaystag

She works part time, and she pays for most kiddie related things with her salary and benefits. I'm left to take care of the household stuff, which clearly I'm not capable of doing.

pmf63

Jaystag wrote: »

She works part time, and she pays for most kiddie related things with her salary and benefits. I'm left to take care of the household stuff, which clearly I'm not capable of doing.

Don't put yourself down. If outgoing are bigger than income then it doesn't matter if you are the world best mathematician ... you can not payout more than you get in.

Are you getting al the benefits that you should be ... working tax credits, child tax credits, housing benefit, council tax benefits?