Breastfeeding help needed please...

GPark

DS2 is 19 weeks old and exclusively breastfed. I love feeding him, its helped us bond and its so convenient - he loves it too, always gives a lovely little sigh of pleasure whenever he latches on.

BUT

I'm struggling, he is still feeding at least 2-3 times per night, sometimes as many as 4-5 feeds, as well as every 2 hours through the day. I thought by now he would be able to go longer between feeds. He won't take a bottle so I can't leave him with anyone so I have literally no time to myself. As much as I love feeding him, I'm finding it hard because I feel like I am neglecting DS1 - I always seem to be telling him to wait while I feed DS2, plus I'm always tired so don't spend as much time playing with him as I'd like because DS2 takes up so much time and energy.

Also, DS2 seems to suffer really badly from wind, I've tried giving up citrus fruit, grapes, onions, spices, anything really that could possibly affect him, but its not helping. He has really nasty nappies, foamy and mucusy, which are often green, and he often seems to be uncomfortable. He is gaining weight really well, was 8lb 4 ozs at birth, and was 16lb 4ozs when he was last weight 2 weeks ago. Despite only being 4 months, I will have to put him into 6-9 month clothes soon, as he is already outgrowing his 3-6 months clothes.

I've been happily feeding him myself so far, we went though so much to have him (2 mcs, 1 mmc, 6 months of tests followed by daily injections for my entire pregnancy) that it seems wrong to be complaining about lack of sleep, but I have to think about DS1 too, I don't want him to resent his brother, and I don't know how much longer I can cope with the sleepless nights.

Can anyone advise on how to get him to go longer between feeds, and how I can help him with his wind? Am I missing something obvious? We've tried infacol, gripe water, warm baths, cycling his legs, massaging his tummy - nothing seems to help. I am really starting to wonder if he has some sort of intolerance to my milk and he would be better off on formula.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Being allergic to you but tolerant of cows milk? Unlikely, don't you think?

You'd only end up telling DS1 to wait whilst you washed bottles, sterilised bottles, made up bottles, warmed up bottles, fed his brother, winded his brother, cleaned the thick poo that bottlefed babies have glued to their rear ends off, went to the shop to buy formula, panicked because the usual brand was out of stock.............


Sometimes wind comes because they have foremilk and not so much hindmilk because you're disturbed or they let go early.


Have you seen the doctor about his tummy at all? Or the health visitor?


Also, what about an NCT breastfeeding counsellor/La Leche League? (Do they still exist? It has been a few years :cool:)

rach

have you tried giving him a dummy? Just wondering if it might help him settle between feeds. I was given some advice which was when he had come off happy to let him suck on my finger or a dummy for a while as they often want non nutritive sucking. It really helped us. green poo can be overfeeding, or a virus passing through as well as an intolerance to something.

Hope it improves x

Kimberley82

I found I had so much more time for my son once I stopped breastfeeding my daughter, she also slept for longer and was happier.

ellay864

You haven't mentioned any professional opinions here? Do you go to the baby clinic? You certainly should see somebody as you do need some support here. The fact he's putting on weight is good but maybe he's actually feeding more than he needs. My friend was told that about her son...that he loved sucking on her so much he was feeding far more than he really needed. She was advised to give him a dummy and he did settle. He also was very full of wind and they said that he was probably taking in lots of air...though you do say your baby latches on properly but it could be as jojo says about not getting the right milk. But please do speak to somebody because you clearly can't carry on like this, especially with having older brother to cope with too. Try to find things he can do with you while you feed - maybe share a book with him while you're feeding the baby. You're right to be concerned...you're more likely to get jealousy type issues if you're constantly putting baby first. Generally I'd say it won't hurt baby to wait a bit for a feed if you need to tend to your older son. I know if I had DS2 wanting a feed when DS1 needed to use the toilet, it was DS2 that had to wait. Ok so he cried a bit but he wasn't suffering. But if your baby is in pain you need to find out why

honeypop

I sympathise with you, I went through most of this with DS1 and now again with DS2. Having spoken to a breastfeeding counsellor today about some of the same concerns, this was the advice I received: Green and/or frothy poo could indicate that not enough hind milk is being taken, which apparently is common with frequent feeding, as the feeds tend to be shorter than if they were going longer between feeds. The windyness (that isn't solved by anything else, as you mention) sometimes goes along with this too.

I was told that the 2hourly feeding will be habit by now rather than a need, and I know that he can go longer as occasionally he does a 4-6 hour stretch. So the advice to me was to really make sure he has a good feed each time, not letting him fall asleep on the breast, so let him feed as long as he will (making sure the latch is perfect, sometimes even if it's just good enough rather than perfect, this isn't 'good enough'), then wind him, change nappy and put him back on same breast, to make sure that one is drained. When it was all explained to me I understood where I was going wrong. Also, to try and drag out the time before the next feed by 15 mins by doing anything necessary to distract him if needed, so if it's normally 2 hours, go for 2 hours 15 mins, and then each day or every other day (depending on how he takes to it) then increase by another 15 mins for the gap between feeds.

I remember doing this last bit with DS1 and each day I increased the gaps by 15 mins until he was comfortable doing 4 hours or so between feeds.

I also felt like I had no time between feeds to be 'normal' and it was getting too much with the tiredness so we now give him one bottle (bedtime) so that I can get a break, otherwise I know I would have crumbled altogether and given up the breast, and I do so want to continue. Keep trying with the bottle as one day he might just 'get' it and take to it, this happened with some other babies I know. Has it been someone else other than you offering him the bottle, he may take it better from someone else of he can't smell your milk - sorry if that's obvious though!

I too seem to be constantly telling DS1 to hold on while I am endlessly feeding DS2. So far he's ok, but sure it won't last!

Sorry for my rambling, typing it all as I think of it.

GPark

thanks for the replies -

Dr and HV both seem to think that because he is gaining weight so well there is no problem. HV said its probably because he feeds really fast, he latches on and gulps down as quickly as he can, even if it has only been 90 mins since his last feed. Also, no matter how long I try and wind him, he never burps - his wind always seems to go down rather than come up. They both just advised using infacol to bring the wind up, but he spits it out, he won't swallow anything that isn't breast milk.

Hadn't thought about a breastfeeding counsellor, I'll have to look into that- when DS1 was breastfed we went to a breastfeeding clinic but they have stopped that now because of spending cuts. When I switched DS1 to formula (because of bleeding nipples) he developed reflux and stopped gaining weight, we then spend 9 months putting gaviscon in every bottle, he is still underweight now, so I do really want to avoid putting DS2 on formula if I can.

I have tried offering a dummy, but he won't take it, he prefers to use me as a dummy very often at night he will cry until I latch him on, then only feed for 2-3 minutes, he just uses me to fall asleep. I've been trying to stop it, but DS1 has to get up for school (nursery) and needs his sleep.

CL

I hope I'm not upsetting anyone for saying this, but my LO is 16 weeks and breastfed. She sleeps 8-9 hours without a feed, then another 2-3 hours straight after a feed, but I give her a 5 oz bottle of formula before she goes to bed in the evening. It gives me a break and she sleeps great. I intend to continue BF to at least 6 months and one bottle of formula a day won't kill her.

pigpen

I fed my babies on demand.. for 6 weeks.. after that they waited a minimum of 3 hours between feeds.. they thought they were being starved but they fed so much better and settled so much better for waiting that extra time and because they fed better they went 3-4 hours for subsequent feeds. After a week of forcing 3 hour feeds we moved to 4 hours.. that is more than adequate for a 4 month old baby. My 7 month old was 6lb 14 and is now about 18lb and gone from 25th to 99th centiles.. and slept though from a few weeks old.. she has gone 12-14 hours a night since she was about 9 weeks.

Could you try entertaining him for a little longer before giving him a feed? He doesn't need to feed that often. Give him a rattle or a dummy or a finger to chew.. yes he might cry.. but he won't explode from crying!

green frothy/slimy poo is a sign he needs more hindmilk and this is the best and quickest way to get that into him. Also you could express the foremilk so he gets more hindmilk (freeze the foremilk for making up food in a few weeks)

It is highly unlikely DS1 will wake up if the baby cries.. they just don't.

teachergirl

hi there. Just a thought. I was told that breast milk changes as the child grows to meet their needs. The mothers body adapts as the child grows but every now and then the child has a growth spurt and the mothers body has to catch up. If you are tired your body doesn't produce the milk of the same quality. We were told if possible to have a "baby moon". Fpr 24 hours try and rest as much as you can , feed on demand and also feed yourself up as well. I was really desparate with my daughter who hardly slept and was alawyas crying. With my hubbies help I fed her what felt like almost constantly for 24 hours but just sat in the chair and ate and fed. The next day my daughter just slept and slept but her feeding went back to a much more normal routine. (my boobs felt huge) but we got back in sinc.
I also understand about feeling bad for the older child. Again with my hubbys help I went out with my son for an hour each evening and we sat at the riverbank and watched the boats go past. As I was out of the house he got my undivided attention and he never showed any jealousy towards his sister.
I hope you get it sorted just remember everyone worries that they are getting it wrong or could do better. He is putting on weight which shows you must be getting it right...:D

GPark

We do go to clinic, but they have cut the hours to two hours per week and there are only 3 HVs, for a clinic that covers 2 doctors surgerys (when ds1 was a baby we had 2 clinics per week just for the one surgery). When we go to be weighed there is always a wait of around 30 - 40 minutes, and the HVs always seem to busy to talk.

honeypop - I will try increasing by 15 minutes tomorrow, sounds sensible - I do think he is capable of going longer, before his 12 week jabs he was sleeping from 11 till 4.30, so I know he is capable of doing a 5 hour stretch, just need to get him doing it again!