School (time off from) with heavy periods (menstruation)

Hermia

Poor girl. This happened to me and my school were very sympathetic and my male form tutor was so lovely. He told all the teachers that I needn't put my hand up to ask to go to the toilet. I was allowed to just walk out of the lesson. I ended up having to go on the pill when I was 13. My periods were still heavy and painful, but a lot less than before. I guess starting the pill so young may not be that great for you, but it made a huge difference to my quality of life. I still get heavy periods and sometimes use Always night time towels in the day. You can't wear really tight clothes over them, but you can't see them through normal clothes. They are just that little big longer and thicker so there's less chance of going through them. You also need to really make it clear to her doctor that she needs a referral a.s.a.p. as it can't be good for her health to lose so much blood.

System

I really sympathise with her, i had very heavy (and very painful) periods (to the point that i was aneamic) and found it difficult to cope with school. I had the thickest pads and would still leak. School made it harder as i needed to change my pads every hour or so but they wouldn't let me use the toilet so much. So i did take a fair bit of time off Is there anyway you can have a word with school and make it clear about what she needs

Is 12 too young to perhaps looking into her going on the pill? Since being on the pill my periods have been a lot lighter

hethmar

It really does sound to me like she could have Polycystic ovaries. I was the same as this and again, ignored as it was thought I was too young to have this condition. I was 20 before I was diagnosed (like lost above). Ask specifically about this.

PS What an amazing dad you are - my father would never have known at all about any of our womens things.

fiscalfreckles

I do sympathise but think that you need to work with the school (and youe daughter) to find ways to help her cope with this, while also exploring any medical help that may be needed.
I can understand that the school feel that many days off a month will adversley affect your daughter's education, and they have offered help, as you say in your first post.
Take the help offered and encourage your daughter to do so too. Yes, it is embarrassing, but she needs to be helped to overcome that and get the assistance & understanding she needs as it simply isn't practical to duck out of life for the best part of a week every month.
Help & support, but address the issue rather than avoiding it. And go back to the doctors, see a different GP perhaps?
I hope your daughter can get help & learn to cope, poor thing.

Nicki

fiscalfreckles wrote: »

And go back to the doctors, see a different GP perhaps?

What could a different GP do though? The original GP has according to the OP tried the normal treatments which haven't helped so has referred the child to a gynaecologist, who will be best placed to do any necessary tests and have the specialist knowledge to recommend other treatments. A lot of GPs are very dismissive of women's health issues particularly in young women as they often settle of their own accord, so it sounds to me like the OP's GP has actually been quite good.

angelil

I also sympathise; I used to have extremely painful periods (and when I say painful, I mean painful enough to make me vomit) from when I was 11 or 12. I have also since been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries.

For the pain: mefenamic acid (prescription only possibly?) is marvellous stuff and reduces the pain enormously. If your current GP won't prescribe it try to see another for a second opinion. Feminax and other off-the-shelf products of that ilk will not help if the pain is really serious; try to get something prescribed. For a more natural remedy, stem ginger and a hot bath (or hot water bottle) also help enormously. You can even buy heat patches that she can stick to her skin to ease the pain during the day and tiny hot water bottles that fit in your pocket that she could use discreetly at other times.

Contraceptive pills are also a possibility as I also found these reduced my flow significantly but she may be too young for this to be considered viable (I did not go on the pill until I was 17).

Secondly, try to get her onto tampons if possible. I know she is young but it is possible (I started my periods in the month of May, one month after turning 11, and by the July I was onto tampons). Of course you can still leak using tampons but it is less likely, as well as being less messy and smelly overall.

For disposal of the tampons/pads/whatever: try to find out if there is a bin she can use at school actually in the toilet cubicles. Either way, you can buy boxes of little purple bags called Pop-ins which are scented and disguise the smell and contents of the bag. They are very discreet for anyone to just tie up the waste in the cubicle and throw it away wherever it's convenient (whether in the toilet cubicle, in the bin next to the sinks, or even in any bin outside). That should help to minimise the embarrassment.

Equally, make sure she is using the right absorbency; sounds obvious but could be missed. Even if for the time being she is using a heavy flow tampon plus a heavy flow pad that could help for now until a longer term solution can be found.

Try not to facilitate any idea that she cannot cope with, or that she should be embarrassed by, any part of this process. As her parents you are responsible for helping her not only cope with any of life's little difficulties (periods in this case) but also helping her build longer-term coping strategies that she can apply to any situation. A can-do attitude and the feeling that one can (and indeed should) just get on with it is a valuable tool for life. The fact of the matter is that she has to learn to cope and you have to help her do that.

Daisygirl

I completely understand, my daughter is 12 (13 next month) and going through a similar thing. She started last April and has been going through horrendous heavy bleeding and flooding. It wasn't too bad to start with, irregular, missing some months, then light or heavy, but I went to the doctors with her last August after she was bleeding for 5 weeks straight, really heavy, and I thought, that's enough, she's going to be anaemic in a minute. She prescribed Tranexamic acid tablets for her and they have been brilliant, they really slow down/stop the flow after she takes them for a day or two.

She is going away with school in the summer and doing lots of water activities & horse riding etc, so I am wondering already about what to do about that for her! Hopefully something can be done to postpone it completely for a week. She is still very irregular - cannot predict when it will start each time, but hopefully her cycle will start to settle down soon - here's hoping, and that it will get lighter.

At school it hasn't been too bad - she takes a spare pair of trousers etc with her in her bag and loads of STs, and makes sure she goes to the toilets at all the break times. She cannot even bear to think about tampons yet (I understand entirely that too). She has no pain though, well maybe just a little bit, just heaviness. Luckily she has not needed to be off school yet (touches wood!). Good luck, I hope you find a solution and it gets easier.

lostinrates

hethmar wrote: »

It really does sound to me like she could have Polycystic ovaries. I was the same as this and again, ignored as it was thought I was too young to have this condition. I was 20 before I was diagnosed (like lost above). Ask specifically about this.

PS What an amazing dad you are - my father would never have known at all about any of our womens things.

Lots in common in our stories.

PCOS is not uncommon, but also, many many more women can have cysts and no symptoms. And many PCOS sufferers have only a few of the symptoms.

It occurs to be there might be some unwillingness to do the scan on a young person? Its an internal scan so is somewhat ''personal'' but its not painful and it is conclusive...to the presense of cysts not PCOS.

A lot of people get very over animated about PCOS. It can be extraordinarily painful, and soe f the common sideeffects...excess hair, skin problems, tendency to weight gain...are grim, but not life threatening. I saw one of the countries leading specialists who was very relaxed about the ''infertility aspect'' pointing out its also got an inherited tendency...which could only happen if the sufferers had kids.;)

Whether or not she has it she has to find a way to cope, which is tough but true. Many of us find that half hour changes are required in the first three days...diet really can help, a lot, but it takes time. keeping weight low and stable is probably the most significant factor for me.

janthemum

My DD had loads of time off due to severe 'flooding' and period pains. Blood soaking through her clothes. She became depressed due to situation especially as school were less than helpful which resulted in her being refferred to child and family services due to depression and had to see a psychologist.

Outcome feeling low and helpless due to her period situation and the school not supporting her and us in the situation. I contacted the school several times but just no communication. Cut long story short once child and family pyscho dr got involved and liased with school how much this affected her school did support her and us a bit more in this

Now she is on a pill to halt her periods and was offerd the contracption inj.

Torry_Quine

I don't have any answers other than those already said by others. However I just wanted to say what a great Dad to notice and care about this important issue in his daughter's life.