2yo not eating tea? What to do?

Margaret52129

Hi, not sure if this is the right place to post but any help would be appreciated.

My DD is tearing her heart out as her 2 yo DS is not eating tea but whinging and whining at the tea table. He's been to bed nearly every night for this last week without any tea and she's quite stressed about it. She's of the opinion that a child won't starve himself if he's hungry, but after a week (or more?) she's now doubting her opinion.

I can't remember if my 2 DD's did anything like this at all (so long ago!) Is this normal or what?

She's giving him a decent breakfast and I suppose he's eating lunch ok, but he doesn't want to eat at the evening mealtime. I guess the whinging and whining isn't helping either. If he just sat there and picked at his food she would be thinking he's not hungry.

Only thing I think of suggesting to her (but haven't yet) is that as soon as he's whinging, she moves him from the table to the front room (no TV) until they've finished tea. Would that be too cruel? Would you keep some tea back till he'd quietened down or what?

It's a tough one to manage with your heart going one way and your head another.

Thanks for any help.

pigpen

Making him sit there while everyone else eats and he doesn't want to is probably more mean. I'd let him go play and eat my dinner stressfree..

I used to give mine their dinner while cooking for everyone else when they were little, they could watch me cook and faff in the kitchen and would sit and eat. As he is eating a large breakfast maybe stocking him up for the day then is the answer.. DD2 would have a massive breakfast but not nearly so much the rest of the day.. and I'd offer no snacks after lunch.

Maybe giving him a smaller portion at tea time so he isn't overwhelmed and if he doesn't eat it so be it.. DS3 rarely eats an evening meal but he will eat loads at lunchtime.

Sounds like he is getting plenty though if he is filling up at breakfast and having lunch and keep his fluids up he will be fine, he won't starve himself!!

Be glad she doesn't have one like me.. I'd eat tinned garden peas (a tea spoonful) 3 tinned new potatoes and mabe haf a dozen of the tiny tinned hotdogs.. every few days... that was it. I was tiny but I didn't fade away!

Would he eat bits off someone elses plate? We used to give DD5 a grown up plate and tell her she was eating daddy's dinner which she thought was hilarious and scoffed the lot..

Alikay

You don't mention timings, but maybe the evening meal is quite close to bedtime so he's a bit tired and "past it" to eat - particularly if it's a meal rather than a sandwich? If he's eating fine at lunch maybe your DD can switch his main meal to then and just stick with a sandwich or similar at teatime.

bella2121

I wouldnt be overally concerned (I know its easier said than done!) if not eating anything and losing weight I would be concerned. My LO went through phases like this just snacking instead of proper meals but as long as he is drinking and eating something I would just keep offering the tea and not make to much of a fuss if it doesnt get eaten.

Good luck sure everything will be back to normal soon

Margaret52129

Tea time is usually around 5.30 when daddy gets home. Bed time is around 7-7.30. Sometimes this is as late as 8.30-9 if they've been out.

When he stayed with me last week, he was just the same. She put him to bed as a 'time out' and he slept from 5.30 till 7 when he woke up in a good mood and ate 2 bowls of stew and a donut! Not sure what she's giving him at lunchtime but will suggest she swaps lunch/tea round, or feeding him earlier.

gizmo111

Margaret52129 wrote: »

Tea time is usually around 5.30 when daddy gets home. Bed time is around 7-7.30. Sometimes this is as late as 8.30-9 if they've been out.

When he stayed with me last week, he was just the same. She put him to bed as a 'time out' and he slept from 5.30 till 7 when he woke up in a good mood and ate 2 bowls of stew and a donut! Not sure what she's giving him at lunchtime but will suggest she swaps lunch/tea round, or feeding him earlier.

Sounds quite late for him - I used to give mine tea around 4.30, bath around 5.30 and ready for bed around 6.30 - 7. maybe she can try giving him his tea early and having him bathed and ready for when dad gets home to play and put to bed and then they have their tea when he is asleep. If he went to sleep at 5.30 and woke at 7 what time did he eventually go back to bed?

Margaret52129

Not sure what time he went to bed after his tea as I had to go out so left her with him.

kazwookie

Is he snacking mid afternoon, on fruit / biscuits etc

mum2kathryn

My little boy won't eat if he's too tired. And they go through fazes of eating/ not eating depending on growth spurts. I'd say try giving him tea a bit earlier, but if he's eaten OK earlier in the day don't stress about it. She could always offer him a light supper (eg a sandwich or a banana) before he goes to bed if he seems hungry.

freda

Tea time is usually around 5.30 when daddy gets home. Bed time is around 7-7.30. Sometimes this is as late as 8.30-9 if they've been out.

When he stayed with me last week, he was just the same. She put him to bed as a 'time out' and he slept from 5.30 till 7 when he woke up in a good mood and ate 2 bowls of stew and a donut! Not sure what she's giving him at lunchtime but will suggest she swaps lunch/tea round, or feeding him earlier.

He had a nap at 5.30pm? Thats ever so late - how much routine does he have in his day? My 2.5 yo naps after lunch every day (even though he says he doesn't want to!) but I wake him up at 2.30pm at the latest. If he naps at 5.30-7pm, then eats a huge meal, he'll not be ready for sleeping till what, 9pm or so?

Setting a consistent routine will sort out a lot of eating and behaviour issues, as the child will have the chance to recharge his batteries in the middle of the day.

Why is time out in bed? Sounds far to comfy and cosy to me? Time out here is in a corner and they wail for a couple of minutes before being asked to say sorry and all is forgotten.

Other things to consider:

- teething - are his last molars through yet?
- tiredness - see above
- experimenting with controlling a situation. I take the same approach of assumeing a child won't starve itself, but I wouldn't offer the food again later. Food is eaten at mealtimes only.
- a bug or virus making him feel low by the end of the day when he is tired.

Margaret52129

kazwookie wrote: »

Is he snacking mid afternoon, on fruit / biscuits etc

She does give him healthy snacks such as raisins/fruit. Tries not to give him chocolate/biscuits.

She was going to try to give him little and often rather than 3 main meals and snacks inbetween. Not sure if she's actually done this