Social Services

sarahlou89

Sorry but this is going to be a long one.

A bit of background, a friend of the family ( lets call her sam ) voluntary put her 3 children into care. Sam got married and was in an abusive relationship and wanted to get out. She suffers from learning diffiulties and has just been diagnosed with Alcohol Feotel Syndrome. Due to the problems at home she put her kids in care so she could get herself sorted out and then get her children back. Her husband was drugging her and it has since come to light he abused her daughter sexually.

She has been currently living with her sister and is now living with me and my other half as social services have said due to her learning difficulties she is a danger to her sisters children.

They are now persuing charges of neglect on to her and have told her there is no way she will get her children back. The charges for neglect are that her children were overrun with headlice and that there attendance at school was poor.

She has regular contact with her children 2-4 times a week.
At the moment she realises that her children should not come back and live with her, she realises that due to her learning difficulties she cannot provide proper care. However she is also aware of the fact that her children are all together and happy in the setting they are in.

The problem is social services have now told her that the children will be put up for adoption, not the eldest as he is nearly 16 but the two youngest 8 and 1.

Can social services do this without Sam agreeing to his??

shelley_crow

What an awful time for your friend and her children.

In short, yes. There should be parenting assessments done on the mother in question in a controlled setting. If it is found that she cannot provide care and protect her children from harm then it may be recommended that adoption be the way forward. It will have to go through the courts before an order can be made for the adoption though, the final decision rests with them. Social services cannot put the children up for adoption without the court order being in place.

Social services should be able to provide the details of independent advocates for your friend. I don't know any from the top of my head but there should be some. All I can advise from my limited experience is that she works with the professionals involved but make sure there is an external advocate for your friend to ensure that she understands the process, what is happening, why it is happening and what she can do.

The courts will look at what is in the best interests of the children, which may be to live with adoptive parents rather than their biological mother. This decision isn't taken lightly, not that it will make things any easier for your friend.

thorsoak

Read the Mooloo threads - there are similarities between your friend's case and Mooloo's daughters' cases - you might gain an insight of what happens.

sarahlou89

Thank you for the replies
tbh she does not really understand exactly in terms of what they are doing apart from the fact that social services want to put her children up for adoption. I think she would agree to it as she knows she cannot give them the care they need however she does want contact with them.

Could you give me the link for mooloo's thread please

thorsoak

Look here :- https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2949198

rachbc

sarahlou89 wrote: »

Thank you for the replies
tbh she does not really understand exactly in terms of what they are doing apart from the fact that social services want to put her children up for adoption. I think she would agree to it as she knows she cannot give them the care they need however she does want contact with them.

Could you give me the link for mooloo's thread please

Unfortunately its not a case of what she wants - its of what the courts and social care consider to be the best interests of the child. If the children are adopted then it is unlikely she will have contact with them.

CG77

rachbc wrote: »

Unfortunately its not a case of what she wants - its of what the courts and social care consider to be the best interests of the child. If the children are adopted then it is unlikely she will have contact with them.

I don't think that's a true reflection at all of what happens. Yes, as you say, the courts and social services will decide what is in the best interests of the child and if they decide it is in the best interests of the children to maintain either face-to-face or letterbox contact with their mother, they will look for a family for them who will accept that and facilitate it for the benefit of the children.

CG. x

ETA. I recognise it could be said that someone who has had charges of neglect brought against them might be unlikely to be granted ongoing contact with the children involved but without knowing the full facts of the story I think it would be unfair to comment on what is likely or unlikely in this specific situation.

Errata

She needs a solicitor which Social Services will pay for. If she has LD she also needs a social worker for herself.

skipsmum

I do know of cases where a child who has been adopted still maintains contact with a parent. In one case one visit a month at a family centre as well as letters, cards etc, and in another case one visit every 3 months with birth mum and all siblings who have been adopted separately.

Savvy_Sue

Also send a PM to gizmo111 from Mooloo's thread and ask her to take a look at this one!

norma77

hi there my heart really goes out 2 ur friend i had friend in same situation but she got kids returned to her home support go in every morning help her get kids ready 4 school they go back at nite help her get them ready for bed advise ur friend 2 seek legal advice because she has learning diff doesnt mean she cant get kids back as long as proper support is put in place 1st but i dont no ins and outs of story tell her 2 keep her chin up and not 2 let kids go without a fight x