What is and isn't acceptable on this board.

elona

And how is calling someone a "drama queen" helping them? Which is only one of the rather hurtful comments that you made.

Martin also asked that we "be nice to other moneysavers".

Edinburghlass_2

If the Depression thread is giving you cause for concern you should report the thread to abuse@moneysavingexpert.com.

However before doing so I recommend you read this post by Forum Manager. The Depression thread along with the Alcohol support thread is a kind consession by Martin to help MSE members with their problems in these areas and are both deliberately placed on the health board so they won't be targetted by users who might wish to cause offense on the threads. Should anyone feel that any medical advice is being given then of course those posts should be reported.

Hi

We've recently changed the name of this board to emphasise that this board is mainly for pure moneysaving issues on Marriages, Relationships & Families and where possible we'd encourage regulars to keep posts on moneysaving where possible.

However, we are a community and a caring forum so we want to support everyone who comes here. Please be aware though that there are other boards to discuss non moneysaving issues and where possible we would appreciate they are kept on the correct board. I'd also like to remind people that this forum does not advocate specialist advice being given or requested; that isn't what we are about.

This isn't meant to be a hard and fast rule, but a gentle reminder to help us to help this site.

LizEstelle

If I'd wanted to 'complain' I would already have done so.

As I said in one of my posts on the thread in question, it really doesn't worry me one way or the other. It's Martin's site and if he wants to entertain stuff which is irrelevant that's his affair, although I would point out that he's leaving himself open to similar threads being started on every medical condition where people feel they need cyber friends for mutual solace.

No, I just posted my concern here that he might, basically, be on dodgy legal grounds - I'm no expert on these things - unaware that he'd already sanctioned the thread.

That's fine. End of the matter as far as I'm concerned.

iglimpse

Your advice re health topics is not working Martin. First visit to this particular forum in a while and already have seen some very dodgy & expensive advice given out, specific replies to health issues - exactly what you said you did not want here.

I feel the problem is that we all want to help people who are in a difficulty. Unfortunately, we all have different opinions and some more than others are convinced they are right.

My only advice is to look at the quackometer and bad science web sites - as well as NHS direct. My blood pressure won't take another visit here!!

dfwamb

Hi, I've just read some of these posts as I was thinking of posting on this board as I think I am depressed and one of the big causes of my depression is the debt. However, I am not looking for people to 'cure' me - I just want some support and encouragement from other people who are suffering or have suffered and recovered from depression caused by debt. I'm a bit confused after reading some of these posts if this is the right board to get this support and if it isn't is there a board I could post to on the site for this kind of help and support?

Thanks

Tiff_2

dfwamb wrote: »

Hi, I've just read some of these posts as I was thinking of posting on this board as I think I am depressed and one of the big causes of my depression is the debt. However, I am not looking for people to 'cure' me - I just want some support and encouragement from other people who are suffering or have suffered and recovered from depression caused by debt. I'm a bit confused after reading some of these posts if this is the right board to get this support and if it isn't is there a board I could post to on the site for this kind of help and support?

Thanks

Hi dfwamb!:wave:
Being in debt is an extremely common factor in different kinds of depression. If you are already ill, it adds to your stress. It's very much a chicken and egg situation - which comes first?

May I say that you'd be very welcome both on the Depression thread and the DFW thread. You don't have to limit yourself at all angel.;) I've found MSE very friendly overall.

The only person who can diagnose depression is your gp hun. There are many online diagnosis tests that are inaccurate. It's always better to go to your own gp who is already familiar with your records. Your gp can source a variety of help for you and will be able to discuss your options with you hun. So the first thing to do angel is to book an appt with your dr.;)

I'm a regular on the Depression thread. The last thing anyone there will offer you is a cure. You may even be depressed - you may be extremely stressed, which is bad too. Also, those of us who have depression or any other kind of mental ill health, soon learn that it's a journey best taken with small steps. The thread is extremely supportive and friendly and the posters have a wide variety of experiences in relation to financial and mental health.

Imho, the Depression thread and DFW thread would both have things to offer you. I am, for example, aware of different benefits, and agencies, that can help not only someone's mental health, but also their financial one.

It's good to be cautious angel - mental ill health is a very
specialised field. We won't offer you a cure hun, but we will be supportive. I also think that the Benefits board would be another good idea for you angel.

You're more than welcome to dip your toes in on the Depression thread hun - if you find it's not for you sweetheart, you've not lost anything by trying it.;) Good luck angel - I hope you feel better soon.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi iglimpse!:wave:
I hope all is well with you and yours hun.
I'd like to reply to your post if I may angel.

quote=iglimpse;Your advice re health topics is not working Martin. First visit to this particular forum in a while and already have seen some very dodgy & expensive advice given out, specific replies to health issues - exactly what you said you did not want here.
I appreciate your point of view. As I've said, the Depression thread for example, is there by the good grace of MSE Martin. I concede that there are occasions where specific advice has been given out but I, for one, always try and remind people that we can't do that. Mental ill health is a specialised field and we are not professionals, no matter how extensive our experience.

I feel the problem is that we all want to help people who are in a difficulty. Unfortunately, we all have different opinions and some more than others are convinced they are right.
In reference to the Depression thread, it is commonly pointed out to anyone that mental ill health is a very individual thing and that no-one knows more about your health record than your own gp. That should always be someone's first port of call as they can make an accurate diagnosis and refer people to all kinds of resources.

This is a very specialised thread. For someone with mental ill health, it can easily mean that they are not aware of the help they can get, financially or otherwise. It is very hard to find help for people with mental ill health and imho, it's also very hard to get. People who have mental ill health can be easily forgotten, scammed or ignored when it comes to financial help and services. Sometimes your illness can take over your life and the thread is a good place to bring you down to earth and point you in the right direction.

It's extremely difficult to admit that you have got such a problem and can be very frightening.

To be able to come to a thread where there are people who know generally what help there is, who support you, who don't judge anyone and who have practical information of all kinds, is fantastic imho.

Mental ill health can be very intimidating to the person who has it and requires very sensitive handling. They are more likely to come to a specialised thread and trust the info there than on a general board, where someone can unwittingly make an insensitive remark.

As with the other threads, we are guilty of having a sense of humour. Not everyone on every thread sticks solely to financial information.

My only advice is to look at the quackometer and bad science web sites - as well as NHS direct. My blood pressure won't take another visit here!!
No offence meant iglimpse, but that's partly exactly the wrong kind of advice to voice. In fact, I'd never advise a certain website to anyone unless it is one of the tried and trusted mainstream charities (eg.MIND), that work to improve life for people who have mental ill health.
I'm sorry about your blood pressure hun and the good news is that you don't have to visit unless you want to.

Imho, the Depression thread is there to support and inform accurately on services that not only can improve their finances but also the other aspects of their lives too - housing etc. It takes an awful lot to open up angel and a lot of people with mental ill health are very prone and vulnerable to financial problems.

We know what agencies can help with your budgets etc and form-filling for financial help and the kinds of financial help there are that are so hard to find, specifically for people with mental health issues.

If you can encourage someone who has mental health issues to seek expert help for all their financial needs and services, you're giving that person a quality of life back...just as so many threads on the MSE site do. That's just my opinion hun. Wishing you well.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

iglimpse

Tiff wrote: »

No offence meant iglimpse, but that's partly exactly the wrong kind of advice to voice. In fact, I'd never advise a certain website to anyone unless it is one of the tried and trusted mainstream charities (eg.MIND), that work to improve life for people who have mental ill health.

Tiff wrote:

I have not visited the depression forum. None of my comments referred to mental health issues and I totally agree that because people have had fantastic support from this site, they often seek advice e.g. on depression. I was referring to Martin's comments that people should not offer specific medical advice / treatments. It is very difficult for those that want to help when people are facing difficulties.

There are obvious correlations between debt and health, both physical and mental. That is why people ask for help on this site. I have seen suggested treatments here which are both expensive and unnecessary (i.e, the evidence is not proven, that is not just my opinion but scientific research).

This is not likely to help those already in debt. The NHS direct website I suggested only contains evidence and facts that have been researched and is a very trustworthy website, along the same lines as MIND.

The quacometer / quack watch and bad science sites are to help people save money. These web sites highlight various treatments for a whole variety of health problems and explain why they are unlikely to work. It was set up by professionals, fed up seeing people being ripped off when they are often already at their lowest ebb.

I echo your points regarding mental health and the problems recognising you might have a problem and getting help. I am only too well aware that access to services can be very difficult. It appears to me that you have a very good GP, however many people are not as fortunate and a small number (hopefully) of GP's fail to recognise or listen when mental health is deteriorating and are not supportive.

Therefore, my only note of caution to your response would be that people should not give up if the GP is unhelpful. It is not only the GP who can help. Many surgeries now have highly qualified nurses who also diagnose, treat and refer to other services, if any of these are required.

Tiff_2

Hi iglimpse!:hello:
Thank you very much for your explanation hun. :T I apologise if I caused you any offence.

I was not aware of the quackometer or such sites, and thought it was a reference to the use of any resources. I guess this is a prime example of how things can be mis-interpretted in the unemotional language of computers.

I completely agree with you in that you should never give up if you are not satisfied with the response from your gp.:T

As I say, they are the gateway to a whole range of services for mental ill health. If you're unhappy, try and see another dr in the practice or take someone in with you for a second visit (or third!;) ) - having a witness can work wonders sometimes. It's also a good idea because if you are very poorly, the person can remind you of what the gp said/suggested and give you their opinion on how it all went.
Thanks again for clarifying things for me hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

poet123

I would like to know what specific differences there are between having a depression thread where support and tips are exchanged, and having a Menopause thread where similar issues are discussed. It seems to me that the only difference is that the former is looked on more sympathetically than the latter, and I would like to know why that should be the case.