First real debt as an adult - getting scared

CH27

Marquischacha wrote: »

thanks for the replies.

I spoke to them earlier today and they have more or less said they've washed their hands of me. I feel terrible. This will definitely spur me on to pay it off as quickly as I can. I have a plan as to how I will pay it off but they don't want to know. I suppose when it's paid off we can be on speaking terms again.

Give them some time to adjust.
Some people are terrified of debt & over react.

Marquischacha

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the support. I think time will help. I can understand them being angry, but I don't want this relationship to continue being so awful.

lizzie_b

I think in this situation you just need to work at paying off the debt and give your grandparents time to come to terms with it so to speak.
I know my grandparents are of the generation where if you cant pay for something with cold hard cash, then you simply dont have it, and any debt even as small as yours (which can seem huge to you but is tiny in the grand scheme of things) has scared them a little and they are worried of you getting yourself in a mess you cant get out of.
Work hard at paying it off, and if the situation hasnt changed in a few months, show them a new statement to prove you are dealing with it and that you are not letting it get out of control.
xxxx

DVardysShadow

Marquischacha wrote: »

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the support. I think time will help. I can understand them being angry, but I don't want this relationship to continue being so awful.

Obviously, they have helped you out once and must be disappointed that you are back in debt. But you have grounds to be upset at them for reading your mail, whereas they have no grounds to be upset unless you go to them with the begging bowl.

Jesthar

Marquischacha wrote: »

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the support. I think time will help. I can understand them being angry, but I don't want this relationship to continue being so awful.

Heya

Sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time. A lot of the older generation have far stricter ideas about debt that more current generations are used to, mainly because it used to carry a far bigger social stigma than since the advent of 'casual credit', and was something to be avoided at all costs. I suspect your grandparents might well fall into that category - although hopefully that means they will also appreciate the work you put towards paying off your debts and taking charge of your finances.

A thought, do you need to use your credit card on a regular basis, or could you use cash or a debit card instead? If so, you might gain some brownie points by either cutting up your credit card, or giving it to them to look after?

Also have a look out for the various challenges you'll find on this forum - like the Payment A Day Challenge, or No Spend Days. They really can help keep you motivated!

Oh, and congratulations on giving up smoking, that will help not only your financial but your general health too :T

~Jes

Marquischacha

Thanks to everyone for the replies. Things are better at home now - my grandparents have cooled off a little and have offered to help me pay back the debt using a system we have worked out which should take around 10 months. I am very very grateful to them but I still feel a little upset about it. I have savings that I collected over two years of working at my current job which is enough to pay off my credit card completely but we are using that to pay some of it, leaving me around £500 to remain in savings.

We all decided to tell the rest of my family members, so I am anxious about my father finding out as there will certainly be another enormous argument.

Again, thank you all for your support, and here's to knuckling down for 10 months to get myself out of the red!

allybee101

Hi,

Glad to hear things are working out. There is a very different perception of debt for different generations. I know my grandmother and a couple of aunties would be horrified at my overdraft balance.
Credit wasn't so easily available and anything bought on 'tick' or hire purchase was seen as an indication that you didn't have control of your finances.

I cleared my credit cards in January and the actual cards were kept in a drawer out of the way (not in my wallet to be used for spending!). I'm now focussing all my efforts on my overdraft, which I have to admit my Mum doesn't know about , and I have been letting slide for several years.

One thing I was going to suggest was a balance transfer to a 0% card so that you're not accruing interest. Although your grandparents may think this is crazy, you wouldn't be paying interest on the debt, and you could cut the card up and give it to them to show that you aren't planning to add to your debt.
Once the debt is cleared you can then close the account.
It is important not to use the balance transfer card for purchases as you will pay the highest rate of interest last.

Good luck for the next 10 months!

Marquischacha

Thanks allybee! We are in fact using a 0% card in order to get out of the debt and I will try to dig out the cut up pieces of my card from the bin to prove to them it is indeed cut up and gone.

Thanks again everyone

CH27

Glad you're getting sorted:)

Marquischacha

hello again everyone.

After a talk with my grandparents last night (who are now back on good terms with me), we are starting to get it sorted. We've changed out plans so it will take around 14 months to get rid of the debt, but I am glad of the weight off my shoulders and the fact that we are now talking. My father still doesn't know, but we are going to start paying it off before we tell him as I think he'll be a bit more understanding about it then.

Thank you all again for your support and understanding.