First real debt as an adult - getting scared

Marquischacha

Hi all

Yesterday a family member found a recent credit card statement which is maxed at £1400. I had been hiding it from them as I didn't want to create tension at home (my family have always been very good with money) but now there is some very bad atmosphere at home and now I realise it's finally time to get it sorted before it spirals out of my control.

I also have an overdraft of £400 which I have been living in for about two years that they don't know about that I would also like to take control over.

I have read the many informative and helpful articles here about paying back the debt easily and hassle-free, but can anyone please give me some support on trying to explain to my family that it's not something that is unmanageable. They think I am in some kind of debt hell and are not currently speaking to me. I would like to be able to explain that I can get out of this but I just don't know the best way.

Bit of an odd post I know, sorry, but any help would be very very much appreciated.

katsu

Hi,

Can you do an SOA (a template is in the sticky threads, basically incomings and outgoings list) to help you identify what surplus you have each month to pay the card off. You can then explain to your family that you know why you got into this debt, that you are no longer increasing your debt and that you are reducing your debt over time. If all that is true, you will sound confident and, if they are a close relative you would be comfortable knowing the details, you can say you are paying £XX a month off, for example, so plan to be clear in YYYY.

I think if you can show the debt is not increasing but decreasing then that is the best position you can say you are in.

If you are unable to pay more than the minimum payments then post your SOA here and people will advise you how to cut back.

Marquischacha

Thanks for the quick reply. I already have a spreadsheet that has my personal income/outgoings and I can afford to pay more than the minimum payment each month - I just chose not to in the past. I have recently stopped smoking and cut out some other things so I am generally more comfortable month-to-month with my ins-and-outs money wise. Thanks again

DVardysShadow

You should not feel too guilty about all of this. You don't say what family member you are talking about. If it is a partner or anyone you share any financial product with, then they should know - or anyone who is acting as a guarantor for you on a loan or rent or anything else. But if it is say parents or other relatives and there are no other financial ties, then it is none of their business and you owe nobody an explanation and you should not trouble yourself to explain anything to them.

If you are happy you have it under control, then that should be the end of it.

But if you do want help, then don't be afraid to post a Statement of Affairs here. If there is a flaw in your plans to get on top of the debt, that will be found for you and either way, there will be lots of advice to get the debt sorted ASAP.

Marquischacha

Thanks for the reply. It's not a partner or anyone who really has any business in my finances. The problem is that it's a very close knit family - and the family member is a grandparent who has helped me in the past when I foolishly squandered my savings a few years back. They are disappointed in me that I let myself get into debt again I think. I just want to make sure that they're still speaking with me as I am more worried about losing a family relationship than anything. I am ashamed about it but I am starting to pay it off, but I just feel bad about it.

Lipstick99

If its a cc debt, then please make sure you do not buy anything else with that card.

I do not know how much you are paying it back at, but eh best way i find is to drop any money extra into a jar or envelope if there is any left over from your weekly amount you live on.
Best to take money once a week and hand over cash, youcan see where you waste it then, eg coffees to work, magazines, shop bought lunches.
A the end of a month you should find an extra amount there in cash, which you can make as an additonal payment to the cc.... it makes it come down faster....

Marquischacha

I do try to put any extra straight into my CC, so it is slowly coming down.

Thanks all for your input, much appreciated. What I really want is to be back on good terms with my grandparent so I can start fresh and straight paying this off ASAP!

CH27

Maybe try going to your grandparent with a written plan to show how you plan to reduce the debt.
That may also help you to be more disciplined about paying it off.

Marquischacha

thanks for the replies.

I spoke to them earlier today and they have more or less said they've washed their hands of me. I feel terrible. This will definitely spur me on to pay it off as quickly as I can. I have a plan as to how I will pay it off but they don't want to know. I suppose when it's paid off we can be on speaking terms again.

saltnvinegar

Marquischacha wrote: »

thanks for the replies.

I spoke to them earlier today and they have more or less said they've washed their hands of me. I feel terrible. This will definitely spur me on to pay it off as quickly as I can. I have a plan as to how I will pay it off but they don't want to know. I suppose when it's paid off we can be on speaking terms again.

Hi

I know this is a real difficult situation and I really feel for you.

However your grandparents not speaking to you over a credit card balance of £1400 is just ridiculous.

I don't think they have any right to take any moral high ground if they have been reading private correspondance (CC statement) that is no business of theirs.

Ultimately, as long as your surplus income is sufficient to meet your debt commitments then you are managing your debt effectively.

You should explain this to your grandparents, and if they continue to act in such a childish manner there is not much you can do about that. As you have said, you are an adult and you deal with your own affairs.

If they choose to cut you off over something so trivial then perhaps this is an indication of who is behaving in a more mature manner.

Best of luck with clearing your CC and if you need any support we're all here to help.

Best

SnV

consultant31

We are a close family and I'm a grandparent (albeit GS is only 2½ and therefore not in debt, lol) but I can't imagine anything in the world making me cut him out of my life.

I think this is pure over-reaction from your grandparent and to be frank, they ought to be ashamed of themselves :mad: