Another access rights question sorry....

mum2twinsx2

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

OP there isn't a lot of point in bothering about who did what to whom in the relationship, unless there is a history well documented of violence/drug/alcohol abuse, no-one in the court process will be interested.

Also...the rights of family members tend to be consequent on the rights of the non resident parent...so until he gets his contact sorted, theirs won't be.

I was only pointing out the background to show how the relationship broke down.

This morning has been the icing on the cake. ive just dropped my daughters at school, on the way in through the gates saw brothers ex with her children. I didnt acknowledge her thought best just leave it. Then my niece saw me, and started crying i could hear her asking for her Daddy. While i was settling my children in the classroom [it takes about ten mins] i could still hear her screaming. Then as i returned to my car, she was trying to put my niece in the car and she saw me and she was screaming my name. One the most horrid experiences.:(
It amazes me how people without a genuine good reason prevent access.

Broken_hearted

Problem is there are always two sides two stories and the truth is usually somewhere in the middle. If the mother is aware of being spoken badly about in front of the children by ex or his family she may feel it is in the childs best interest to withdraw access until the issue is resolved. Cases like this are never as black and white as they see.

mum2twinsx2

Broken_hearted wrote: »

Problem is there are always two sides two stories and the truth is usually somewhere in the middle. If the mother is aware of being spoken badly about in front of the children by ex or his family she may feel it is in the childs best interest to withdraw access until the issue is resolved. Cases like this are never as black and white as they see.

She hasnt been badly spoken about at all until now. Ive never had an issues with her, until this happenned. Neither has any other members of the family.

Yes things are that black and white. My brother is very open about things. There is nothing else other than what I have stated that has happenned.
I kind of feel sympathy for her but i dont accept her withdrawing access, as I know if my childrens Dad had moved on and I was still on my tod with four children I would be a little peeved. She has partially admitted this too.
I can see with the mixture of anti depressants and cannibis are helping her thinking.

mrsspendalot

When my hubby's ex first started being awkward about contact, she admitted it was because she felt like she was 'losing control of things'. I got OH to explain to her that it wasn't about control. She wanted to control him so she still had some kind of hold over him, as she was very bitter about the fact they had divorced (he left her). He never had a problem all the time we were together, until the day he told her he was moving in with me. It all changed from then on. It's never been right since.

mum2twinsx2

mrsspendalot wrote: »

When my hubby's ex first started being awkward about contact, she admitted it was because she felt like she was 'losing control of things'. I got OH to explain to her that it wasn't about control. She wanted to control him so she still had some kind of hold over him, as she was very bitter about the fact they had divorced (he left her). He never had a problem all the time we were together, until the day he told her he was moving in with me. It all changed from then on. It's never been right since.

Thanks. Its nice to know not just my brother that has gone/going through this.

mrsspendalot

mum2twinsx2 wrote: »

Thanks. Its nice to know not just my brother that has gone/going through this.

No, and he won't be the last sadly either. I personally don't get it. I would never be like that with my ex. He sees his kids as often as he wants. He has a new gf and they are set to marry this year. I'm actually pleased he has settled and the kids have somewhere to call 'home' when they are with him, as before they were kipping on the floor at his parents house when he had them. Hubby's ex just wants to dictate, end of. It's her way, or no way. I'm waiting for the day she wakes up and realises life just isn't like that.

Hope this gets sorted out for your brother very quickly xxx

System

fannyanna wrote: »

Yeah that's my point. Just because someone gets a court order doesn't mean it will be complied with.

thats true but at least then there are other legal avenues once someone fails to comply with a court order.

mum2twinsx2

mrsspendalot wrote: »

No, and he won't be the last sadly either. I personally don't get it. I would never be like that with my ex. He sees his kids as often as he wants. He has a new gf and they are set to marry this year. I'm actually pleased he has settled and the kids have somewhere to call 'home' when they are with him, as before they were kipping on the floor at his parents house when he had them. Hubby's ex just wants to dictate, end of. It's her way, or no way. I'm waiting for the day she wakes up and realises life just isn't like that.

Hope this gets sorted out for your brother very quickly xxx

Thanks. Im hoping a few weeks the dust will settle so too speak. hopefully.