Feeling depressed, can't work, no money, scared

Elhall_2

Don't think that you would get incapacity benefit at this stage, maybe stat sick. But check it out, think that my Bro had something like £90pw. He had councilling through HNS as well but had to wait a lot longer.

I know how you feel hun, not long off the tablets myself and deprite not to go back on them. Think about your health first. Having a week to yourself may mean that you don't end up being off a lot longer. But if you go to work you could end up having a break down (like I did, I was off for near on 3 months). Think long term... think short term... think health.

Keep going to the gym, try cutting back on your going out money or try quitting smoking (hard at the best of times)

Good luck

justruth

Depresion has such a stigma attatched to it, if you had a broken leg it would be easier to explain, however I suggest you explain that you have it if your line manager is a reasonable person. Exercise releases endorphines which help beat depression but in the winter months I strongly suggest having a good long walk or run in the daylight, as the constant dark brings us down. If you can do this and maybe cut the gym costs right down or out, i would. Please don't stop exercising though.

I would also suggest cutting back on the alcohol, if you drink when you go out, it's a depresant, we drink because we are down and the alcohol makes us more down.

When I was haing money panics in the middle of the night, I found having a notebook by the side of the bed useful. If I woke up thinking about something, I wrote it down and forgot about it.

If you can keep going to work then do, even if you carry on in auto pilot for a while, at least you won't be stuck inside your own head.

Best wishes xx

Diamondgirl

I can relate to your situation as I suffer from depression and work for an agency so any day not worked equals less/no pay. However Im not sure Valium is the answer, my friend has it sometimes and it usually makes her very sleepy. It would be better if you were prescribed anti depressants and get some counselling as suggested already.

Some comments on how you can cut down:

Income £274 a week

Monthly
Mobile - £40is this a contract or PAYG? you need to cut down on this
Gym - £70 this is very expensive per month, are you tied in or can you cancel and take up jogging or walking, or at least find a cheaper deal?
Broadband - £15
Tescos Credit Card - £30 minimum payment?
HSBC CC - £100 minimum payment?
Contact lenses - £13 do you have glasses as well, I had to stop my contacts to reduce my outgoings
TOTAL £268 = £67 @ week approx

Weekly
Food - £20 per week
Fags - £10 per week
Going Out - £50 per week £200 @ month ~ I dont think you can afford this!!! I can't even spend this in a month!!!

Total Weekly outgoings = £147 (including monthly)
leaving you £127 @ week spare ~ so where does that go?

Current Overdraft - £1274 Limit £1500 are you paying anything into this to reduce it?
Tescos CC - £1000
HSBC CC - £3300

If you are only making minimum payments I think you need to think seriously about at least halving your monthly "going out" money and putting some more towards your debts. Can you not invite friends over to yours and cook a meal? homemade pizzas?? Im sure your Mum wouldnt mind at least occasionally if it helps you.

Good luck with sorting things out

climbgirl

I understand about the depression issue, but you're so close to being made permanent staff. In a temp role you're eligible for nothing in terms of sick pay, as I'm sure you're aware. It's a matter of weeks until the end of the year now, please try and hang on in there for that permanent position.

Frankly, if you're not being paid then things are going to become much harder in terms of paying bills. And as someone else said, the longer you're off the harder will be to get back to work. I find that if I'm feeling depressed then routine is one of the best cures. Concentrate on small things and break your day into tiny chunks. Say to yourself 'I'll deal with this email and then I'll think about the next bit' and get through your day that way. Maybe it'll work for you, just a thought.

I really do think you need to hang on in there if you can and get through to that permanent position. It'll make life so much easier for you than the precarious situation of temping!

CFC

Depression is awful but you're far from alone. A huge number of people suffer from it one way or another.

Quite frankly, if you owe a lot of money and have been made redundant, it is hardly unusual to be depressed. I'd think it was pretty natural. Especially as if I have read your post right, it sounds like it runs in your family, with your sister being depressed. This means that not only are you at worse risk of depression, but you are more likely to be 'labelled' by your doctor as a genetically predisposed clinically depressed person who counselling is likely to be wasted on, rather than as a 'situationally' depressed person who counselling might help.

But looked at objectively, it's hardly surprisin you feel depressed. Redundancy is very emotive, especially if you're beating yourself up for spending your redundancy money. But look how far you've come, and how much you've learned. If you got a lump sum tomorrow you'd know better how to spend it. We all live and learn, we're not born wise! So please look on the positives that you have achieved. In debt terms you've paid off 9k in a year, which is marvellous and I take my hat off to you. I'm sure also in work terms if you look back, say over the last 3 years, you can see how you've learned and developed also. Look at your achievements and be proud of them. It's your right.

It's tough and hard to get through depression and still function, but once you let it rule your actions, you can be going down a big funnel and it can become your total master, and wreck your life for years.

If you possibly can, I think you'd be better to force yourself through it and continue working. And if you cry at work (again, you're not alone kiddo believe me) just tell people you've had some bad news recently that you don't want to talk about, but it makes you feel lousy from time to time. Go and lock yourself in the ladies and blub for five minutes when you need to.

Despite depression possibly falling under the DDA, you are likely to damage your prospects of perm. employment anywhere if you let the doc. sign you off for anything but a very short period of time. I'd see if you can keep going for a bit and see if it improves. I also think that just having to go to work keeps the outside routine going, and that prevents you giving up emotionally.

I'm so sorry you feel this way, and my heart goes out to you. Feel free to totally ignore anything I've said if you don't think it would be helpful.

JillD_2

Depression is awful, and you only realise how debilitating and horrible it is when you've had it, I had it a few years ago, went on Adsfor a year and they were amazing, I had no trouble coming off them and they made me a different person.

i agree youshouldn't give up the gym as having something to go out for can only be a good thing and exercise is supposed to release happy hormones and make you feel more up.

Is there a cheaper gym you could join ? I used to be a memebr of David Lloyd which cost about £70 a month but now I go to a local subsidised Harpers one, its about £30 a month for the same facilities.

I used to have a mobile phone contract about £25 a month, now I am pay as you go and top up less than a tenner a month. Being PAYG makes you think twice before using the phone IMO.

IOf you can, then cut down on your going out money a bit. How many nights a week do you go out ? Could you go to the cinema instead - that is better value, esp if you go on Wendesday and do Orange Wednesday 2 for 1. Since cutting back hubby and Inow spend £100 on our entertainment budget - cinema, takeaways, eating out, renting a movie, taking the kids out. We typically manage one thing a week on that budget. It was hard to get used to at first but now its part of life.

I also gave up my contact lens subscription. Well what I actually did wa make each pair of motnly lenses last as long as possible - up to 2 months - so I landed up with lots of pairs stocked up and I am working my way through those now. When they are finished I will sign up for another year or whatever.

Good luck with everything. Keep loads of lists everywhere, there is nothing like writing it all down and feeling all organized to make you feel a bit better.
Jillx

skintas_2

forsya

i suffer from depression too, my partner had the choice iof being made redundant or working nites, he is wokring nites, sounder my feet all day. i cant even answer the phone without him here. if im tired go back to bed i get told off, ive been applying for loads of jobs, had interviews always getting knocked back. been trying now 4 months, i just wanna hide in bed, ihave a social worker and my partner has been telling her about me being lazy and laying in bed all day!!!!!!!!! i just need a job to help me feel less depressed and more myself again.......... my bills are coming in, and i need to pay them too, im goin back on the st johns wort, if i get too depressed my partner will go back to drinking as he reckons he cant deal with me......... any way good luck, lol g x x

Sassers

Hello Forsya - I just wanted to send you a (((hug))) and I really understand how you feel at the moment. I've had depression in the past and had counselling and tablets and what-have-you. It will get better honestly. I got depressed because I thought I didn't have any choices or could change my life and I felt like I was being suffocated by a huge concrete boulder. I realised I was trying to be all things to all people and just burnt myself out. One day, I wrote down all my problems and then wrote how I could change them for the better. It took a while to convince my brain this was what I was doing and I had more ups than downs but it worked. If I feel like I'm headed towards that mode of thought - like oh I'm so in debt, I put something on Ebay, if I feel like I'm having an `ugly' day I have a homemade pamper night and try and be kind to myself..
Really simple things....they do take a lot of effort though.
Also just a little suggestion - your doctor sounds really helpful. It might be worth asking him because you have depression can he sign you up for a fitness course/gym c/o the NHS? They do do this in certain areas, might be worth an ask.
Lots of love to you - PM me if you need to have a chat
love Sas x

Ps: big huggles to everyone else posting here who's having a hard time of it.

BlondeHeadOn

It's worth remembering that one of the symptoms of flu-like illnesses is that they often leave you feeling depressed and weepy for some time afterwards... so if you feel weepy at work then you could offer that as a perfectly reasonable excuse: "I felt like I was getting flu, and now I feel all down and weepy" - bet you someone else immediately says: "Oh, I always feel like that after colds/flu/whatever!"

It would make explaining things at work a bit easier, and I bet you will get more sympathy than if you just said "I have depression".

Hugs
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

manofthemoment

Sorry to hear that you are feeling depressed. I could really recommend counselling, I had been feeling depressed but I didn't want to take the antidepressant route as I thought this would add to my problems. A good counsellor will help you to understand why you are feeling like this and it will help you to find solutions to your problems in the long term. It might be an idea to specifically tell your doctor that this is what you want to do, if you feel it could help.

I also think exercise is great and more effective than pills for depression IMHO. I think you should do something you enjoy, so if you enjoy the going to the gym rather than exercising outside, then perhaps giving up the gym would be a false economy and you should think about carrying on with your membership. You will get over this and come out of it a stronger person, I'm sure. Keeping your job is important even if you don't feel like it, it is a good idea to have somewhere to go and something to keep you busy and if you can keep it going then carry on with it. Good luck and all the best from me.