How would it work if...

formaldehyde_perfume

margaretclare wrote: »

Yes, I understand this.

If you think about it, every darned thing does cost more. A lady who used to live opposite us used to take a taxi into town every market day to do whatever she had to do, get her hair done etc, and taxi back. She could have walked to the end of the road, got a bus and used her free bus pass. But she couldn't walk that far!

It probably won't be any good for your husband, but have you tried dial-a-ride? My local one is fab. They even have day trips out to other localish towns, which for me as a non driver is brilliant as getting there any other way involves a carer and lots of planning.

I have a free bus pass but the local buses in my town generally aren't disabled friendly and I need a lot of space to minimise my pain. I also bruise easily and when I get knocked it is much more painful than it should be, as my nervous system doesn't work properly, so generally can't have anyone I don't know sitting next to me because of the fear they will touch me. I also need basically all the aisle to walk down safely... All this means than I can't use my bus pass at 'peak' times because the service is so poor that there's only one bus an hour so they're usually quite packed beyond what is usual peak time.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that I understand! :rotfl:

daska

zaksmum wrote: »

But what my auntie couldn't understand was that although she was given the AA to "buy in" the care, she never did, and nobody checked.

She just managed as she always had, being careful what she spent and just struggling through the days coping with pain and poor mobility.

We tried to persuade her to use taxis but she was horrified - "terrible waste of money!" she said. She was always convinced someone would come along and claim all the AA back again so basically saved it all, just in case.

That is really sad, poor lady. I really feel that sometimes the word 'care' has too many of the wrong connotations. Perhaps the paperwork for AA should spell out that it can be used to buy in any utility, service or equipment that helps to make life easier for the recipient.

Mojisola

zaksmum wrote: »

She was always convinced someone would come along and claim all the AA back again so basically saved it all, just in case.

I had this with my parents - Mum, in particular. I had to phone up three times so that she could be reassured that they were entitled to the extra money, no-one would ask for it back and they could spend it any way that made their lives easier before she would spend any of it.

margaretclare

Please be advised:

That the form which can be downloaded from the AA site is obsolete. There's now a new one which isn't on the directgov. site.

No one should attempt to complete the application form without help.

DH has just been to DIAL locally - he had to wait about a month to get an appointment. He spent 2 hours with the benefits adviser there and it took them that long, between them, to complete the form. He had various consultants' letters, a print-out of his medications and a letter from me. Nevertheless it took that long. He's an intelligent man but he said there is no way he'd have been able to complete the form without the help of the benefits adviser. He'd downloaded the original form and partly-completed it, but was told that form is obsolete now.

It's 50/50 whether he gets the award or not. If he gets it, it will be backdated to March. It depends entirely if 'all the right boxes' have been ticked and that means someone will take about 20 minutes to read it and make a decision yes or no.

I think he was quite surprised that he was there so long and that it's so difficult and complicated. We've both had a lifetime of writing things, filling in forms, putting our point of view forward, but this was something else. It is now completely different from when I applied, a few years ago now.

Hope this helps someone else.

Margaret

Newly_retired

If you are not happy with the decision when he gets it, don't forget you have one month from the date on the letter to challenge it. You can ask for it to be looked at again or go straight for an appeal. If you appeal they will look at it again anyway first, but sometimes they don't deal with appeals so quickly.

margaretclare

Just an update on this - B has just been awarded the lower rate of Attendance Allowance backdated to 19th April, the day he went to see the benefits adviser at DIAL. He'll be getting £49.30 a week paid 4-weekly with the back-pay, when his next 4-weekly pension payment is due to be paid.

This is all good news. It will help us to keep the car on the road. Without it we'd go nowhere. He is also beginning to acknowledge that there are things he can't do, or can do them less easily than he used to.

We're about to see our family solicitor next week about updating our wills. Everyone should have a will and they should be updated every 5 years or so. We each have a stocks-and-shares ISA and there's still approx £120K of equity in this little bungalow notwithstanding the 'lifetime mortgage' which we did in 2003.

We've come to realise that the 5 grandchildren - 3 of mine and 2 of his - are NOT all alike. They are all very different in fact. Some actually need nothing from us in terms of inheritance. One does - she can only just make ends meet on her low-paid job, and she's grateful for any help. One, we don't hear from at all - not at all. I haven't even got an address for him.

So, a lot to think about.

Errata

I agree that everyone should make a will. It would be more sensiblefor people to review it every year - a five minute job -and make a new one if necessary, rather than adhere to a blanket 'should be updated every five years or so'.

zaksmum

We made our wills last year, they were drawn up free of charge by a solicitor who was paid by my husband's old trade union.

Popped them in the safe and we can forget about them for the time being and just get on with our lives.

PurpleSky_3

margaretclare wrote: »

Thanks for this. This is a bit like us. We do help each other. Until I discovered the trick of putting on a bra without undoing it, I always got him to do up my bra.

I have to ask you to explain this trick - I have problems with weakness in my arms and my bra is always an issue!!

Savvy_Sue

PurpleSky wrote: »

I have to ask you to explain this trick - I have problems with weakness in my arms and my bra is always an issue!!

Ah, mc says 'without undoing it', I can only imagine that she either has very stretchy bras, or that there's not a lot for them to go over, but that trick would be useful if I'm wrong about that. I've still got a dodgy shoulder, either DH does mine up if I fall into it, or I do it up at the front, swivel it round and yank the arms in.

Would the Buckingham Bra Angel help you? Haven't used one, so no idea if it's any good or not!

But today I'm wearing one of those supported vest tops with a double layer of fabric over my bosoms, and elastic underneath, lots of yanking to get it in place but do-able!