Divorce and mediation - relative getting steamrollered!

elsien

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RAS

He will not be paying for her; that went out years ago.

Children - 20% of his salary for two, 25% for three or more. Set by the CSA. She then has to pay the mortgage and all other living costs.

Google mesher order.

What age are the children?

elsien

The children are both in first school.

RAS

I am not sure if the cut off is 7 years now or has been reduced to 5 years old, but unless they are disabled from that point she has to sign on for work or lose her benefits; she can ask for school hours only.

elsien

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tattycath

for every overnight stay per week the maintenance is reduced by a 7th (I think)

gratefulforhelp_2

OP you may like to look here

http://www.resolution.org.uk/

though word of mouth is a good way to find a decent solicitor.

clearingout

the only decent divorce website I know if is; www.wikivorce.com. You will get all your answers there.

It's not too late to mediate.

It is unreasonable to have the children every weekend - both parents need quality time with their children. Shared care needs to cut across both the usual weekly routine and weekends - although I accept that residence/access is not a one size fits all thing. CSA can be claimed by whichever person holds the Child Benefit, although reductions are made for overnight stays.

A counterpetition is pointless. Tell him to sign the thing, ticking the 'I don't agree with the reasons but accept the marriage is over' box. If the reasons are very 'bad' and involve the children, his metal ill health, drug use, alcoholism, that kind of thing, there is a need to be careful as it could be used against him in proceedings involving children (assuming it ever got that far) so do consult a solicitor. Many solicitors do a first half hour free - it is worth seeing more than one as your relative is right in that some will go all out to wrack up the animosity and therefore their costs.

hope that helps.

elsien

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pigpen

On our papers (I divorced KH on unreasonabe behaviour) there was a bit for him to object to the reasons but agree to the divorce.. had he counterpetitioned it would have been upgraded to adultery and I'd have had the clothes off his very back.. I had proof a name and the STI reports (his not mine!)

Anyway.. I digress..

It is probably easier to let her get on with it and just sign and send everything back.. I'd bet the change of plan has something got do with another guy. Does it matter the reasons? Noone but her and him and the judge will see them anyway.. it isn't like it is broadcast in the paper!

they can either do mediation (ours charge KH £100 an HOUR!) to sort any issues, that is cheaper than a solicitor and court costs.. I went in armed with a list of stuff I wanted sorting.. contact, hygeine of children, and there were financial bits like the mortgage etc. We decided on a clean break settlement.. I get the house in my name and pay bank loan and I will not persue a claim for maintenance for 2 years, he hasn't paid for the last 2 years so I'll not miss it.. It isn't perfect but both parties have to be grown up and not throw a tantrum when the other says something they don't like (like he did a couple of times lol) Basically unless they behave like children there is no reason they cannot sort a financial settlement during mediation.

She should get legal aid to cover her fees.

gratefulforhelp_2

When you say you won't pursue maintenance for two years...is that spousal maintenance? I didn't think it was possible to waive a right to child maintenance?